The Faster Times » Wordbirds

Today’s Wordbird: POLTERGUY

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 21 May 2012 10:57:37 +0000

POLTERGUY (N.) pōl-tər-gī Ex-boyfriend who exerts a haunting, destructive influence on a person’s’s later relationships. Usage: Augusta had just gotten engaged to Sam when her polterguy, Mitchell, called after a long silence, reminded her of their time together, and told her he was coming to town.

Ghost Bird (Ivory-billed Woodpecker) by Elizabeth Zechel

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Today’s Wordbird: BOBCAT

Liesl Schillinger — Tue, 15 May 2012 14:27:21 +0000

BOBCAT (N.) ‘bob-kat Young man who is attracted to older women and/or pursues them romantically (though he may date younger women, too). Usage: “Let’s go see Chéri,” said Juliet. “Is that the movie about that Parisian cougar and the young guy?”asked Robert. “Please,” Juliet scoffed. “The guy was a bobcat—he’s the one who went after her. She didn’t do the chasing.”

Ameraucana Hen and Bobcat, by Elizabeth Zechel

To visit the Wordbirds aerie, go to http://wordbirds.tumblr. com or thttp://www.facebook.com/Wordbirds

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Today’s Wordbird: PARROT-TOP

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 14 May 2012 05:24:10 +0000

PARROT-TOP (N.) ‘peyr-ruht-‘top Any of the fashion-conscious folk who have adopted the trend of dyeing swathes of the hair in bright or pastel shades– making their hairdos look, from a distance, like nesting parakeets. (Also refers to the hairstyle.) Usage: “Giles, does that couple ahead of us have green hair, or am I seeing things? I mean…they’re not punk or anything. He’s in a suit!” “You mean the couple at the Gem Spa? No, that’s definitely a pair of parrot-tops. It’s all the rage, didn’t you know? You can get your hair tie-dyed that way at any salon. They call it rainbow ombré. Do you want to get parrot-tops of our own after brunch?”

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Today’s Wordbird: ELEVEXER

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 07 May 2012 04:54:27 +0000

ELEVEXER (N.) ‘el-uh-vex-ur One who holds up the progress of an elevator by opening the closing doors at the last minute (whether by pushing a button or by jamming an arm in the door) to squeeze in. Usage: Karen was about to lose her mind. Not one, not two, but three elevexers held up the journey to the 18th floor, squeaking in with guilty smiles and false apologies as the doors were trying to close. What was their problem? There were three other elevators, couldn’t they have taken one of them?

Finches, by Elizabeth Zechel

To visit the Wordbirds aerie, go to http://wordbirds.tumblr.com or http://www.facebook.com/Wordbirds

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Today’s Wordbird: PROCRASTIDATE

Liesl Schillinger — Tue, 01 May 2012 02:04:09 +0000

PROCRASTIDATE (V.) pro-‘kras-ti-dayt 1) To put off attempting to date anyone for various reasons (e.g., workaholism, intimacy issues, laziness, dearth of prospects, addiction to WoW or Call of Duty). 2) To date unseriously, in order to put off (until never) getting involved with someone to whom you could become genuinely attached. Usage: Rob was well-liked at the office, where he worked long hours, and outside the office, where he struck people as funny and confident. But he never asked anyone out. He told himself he’d get around to it, but for the moment, he was happy procrastidating.

European Starlings on the Fence, by Elizabeth Zechel

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Today’s Wordbird: LOTOTOMIZED

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 05:40:55 +0000

LOTOTOMIZED (Adj.) la-‘tot-ah-myzd Describing the feelings of confusion, exhaustion and loss of identity suffered by adults distracted by the clamorous, yammering company of little kids who need them. Usage: Before the twins were born, Dara and Jake ran a business, worked out daily, led a busy social life, and gardened and decorated to their hearts’ content. But soon after the girls arrived, they quit the gym, let their house fall into shambles, rarely saw their friends, and felt scatty and unfocussed nearly all of the time- they were completely lototomized.

Tricolored Herons, by Elizabeth Zechel

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Today’s Wordbird: SHOWPSHAW

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 04:07:49 +0000

SHOWPSHAW (N.) ‘shope-shaw A person “puts on a showpshaw” when he attempts to deflect a compliment by denying it was justified, whether it was or not. Usage: When the guys at the pick-up basketball game thumped Pete on the back for getting three slam-dunks in a row, Pete couldn’t help putting on a showpshaw. ‘It was just luck!’ he said.

Flamingo, by Elizabeth Zechel

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Today’s Wordbird: E-QUAIL

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 14:10:18 +0000

E-QUAIL (V.) ‘ee-kwayl

To feel dread upon receiving an email from a hostile or irksome source, and to resist opening it for fear it might contain distressing or irritating news, or increase your workload. Usage: When a message from his boss landed in his inbox, Rowan e-quailed and scrolled down the screen so he wouldn’t have to even look at it.

California Valley Quail, by Elizabeth Zechel

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Today’s Wordbird: SUPERPERVISOR

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:35:16 +0000

SUPERPERVISOR (N.) soo-per-‘purv-vyz-ur Supervisor known for making hiring choices based on sex appeal, and/or for making inappropriate overtures to employees. Usage: On her first day of work Candace thought it was odd that so many women in her department were 5’7” and red-haired, like her. But as the boss came over and started hovering and flirting, she realized it was no accident; he was a superpervisor.

Great Horned Owl, by Elizabeth Zechel

To visit the Wordbirds aerie, go to http://wordbirds.tumblr. com or http://www.facebook.com/Wordbirds

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Today’s Wordbird: SMOOVE

Liesl Schillinger — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 13:41:44 +0000

SMOOVE (N.) smoov A man who, like the author of the satirical “Smoove B” column in The Onion, uses heavy-handed courtship methods that repel his target. Usage: As Tristan, hair-gelled, cologned, and American Appareled from head-to-toe, sidled up to a group of women at Radegast, hoping to unleash the “Mystery Method” pick-up technique, the women moved to the other side of the bar. “What a smoove,” Courtney said to Tara and Bethany.

Frigatebirds, by Elizabeth Zechel

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