Emergency Condom Still Unused

condom

Nearly 10 years after first placing it in his wallet, Steve Madrick’s emergency condom remains unused.

“You always want it there, just in case,” said Madrick, a Philadelphia radio producer. The condom, a Durex Extra Sensitive that has been tucked behind Madrick’s health insurance card since mid-2003, has now been expired for seven years.

“I suppose I should replace it,” Madrick said. “I need to be ready when it happens.”

“That thing is never going to see the light of day,” said Ryan Gomez, Madrick’s colleague at WRYN, who also pointed out that Madrick is especially unlikely to use the condom given that he is happily married with two children.

“There have been a couple of close call,” Madrick noted. Asked to clarify, Madrick explained that there were, in fact, no close calls and that he just said that because whatever and just shut up because he likes having the condom there and shouldn’t you be doing something else right now?

Buzz Feldman
Buzz Feldman is a writer and blogger in Brooklyn. ...read more

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