Student Who Won’t Stop Nodding His Head Isn’t Following a Word

In news that some classmates say comes as no surprise, that guy sitting in the front row of Philosophy 302 who nods knowingly after almost every sentence spoken by the professor has absolutely no clue what’s going on in the class.

“At first I thought he was a genius,” said classmate Elena Rotova, “but gradually it became clear that he would just nod at everything.”

In an interview with The Faster Times, that guy, who has also been known to chuckle audibly whenever the professor makes a vaguely humorous remark and also to take notes constantly, acknowledged that he didn’t have the slightest fucking clue as to what the professor was talking about. “Most of the time, I’m just stoned off my ass,” said that guy.