Honey Boo-Boo Child Meets Dr. Drew

Lifechanger’s Dr. Drew sits down with Toddlers and Tiaras’ star Alanna, and her mother, to investigate their so-called “go-go juice.”

Toddlers and Tiaras’ “breakout star,” honey boo-boo child Alanna, follows in the footsteps of another inappropriately dressed minor, Courtney Stodden, by appearing on Dr. Drew’s CW show, Lifechangers. Although Alanna wasn’t there to prove that all of her body parts were real like Stodden did, Dr. Drew investigates the “go-go juice” that her mom, as well as many other pageant mothers, gives her child to get her hyped-up, all smiles, and ready to expose her belly for the judges.

In the show, Alanna is all dolled up in her pageant outfit, next to her mother, who should really be the one Dr. Drew focused his time on, and Drew asks to try her “go-go juice.” Alanna thinks the drink tastes like apple juice, but Drew asks if there is any methamphetamine or ecstasy in it (how child-appropriate, Drew!). “The Coupon Queen,” Alanna’s mother, says that the drink is a mixture of a soda and an energy drink (presumably Mountain Dew and Red Bull) and upon drinking it, Dr. Drew acts as though his mouth is going numb and that he is unable to think properly, which would be believable if he weren’t the worst actor on CW.

The episode airs on February 2nd, and along with the video preview, Extra.com wrote (but then deleted the article) that the episode includes Dr. Drew expressing his concerns by saying, “To give a child anything that can alter their mood is egregious, and their behavior is unconscionable.” (Dr. Drew also hates hugs, kisses, pats on the back, chocolate milk, and thumbs up.)

Until the full Alanna segment airs on February 2nd, it is unknown if Dr. Drew will call out thousands of other pageant mothers who give their children a similar drink mixture every week (or the apparent mental abuse of over-bearing mothers screaming at 2-year-olds). Dr. Drew also seems to ignore the fact that every episode of Tiaras before Alanna’s has shown mothers pushing hundreds upon hundreds of Pixie sticks down children’s throats. He also makes no mention of the millions of other American parents who give energy and soft drinks to their young children.

Although I am thoroughly excited that Alanna is well on her way to becoming a star (when are the paparazzi going to start stalking she and her mother in the candy aisle at Piggly Wiggly?), Dr. Drew missed a special opportunity to address the many problems exhibited on Toddlers and Tiaras with one of the show’s most fabulous stars.

Follow Alex Hughes on Twitter! @TheAlexHughes

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Alex Hughes was born in the Bible Belt and moved to New York City to study. He is an editorial assistant. Follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes. He can be contacted at: alex@thefastertimes.com ...read more


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