‘The Bachelorette’ Recap (Season 8, Episode 6): Emily Makes Her Own Rose Ceremony Rules

“The guys have to put on kilts and compete in the Highland Games, which is like medieval American Gladiators.”

Tonight things start out with Travis getting a one-on-one date. He really hasn’t done much, but has somehow managed to stick around through the first few episodes despite his weird Ostrich egg thing. Oh, and they’re in Croatia.

John, Doug, Sean, Jef, Chris and Arie are selected for the group date, meaning Ryan gets the episode’s other one-on-one date.

Not much really happens with Travis’ date, and he does not get the rose. And then afterward he cries and throws an umbrella.

The group date starts with the guys going with Emily to see the movie “Brave,” and wow. I can’t believe she is taking six men to go see an animated film (though it’s one I really want to see). Emily says it’s about a girl who’s trying to find her way in the world, and that this is kind of like what she’s doing, too! Also, “Brave” is about a girl who is about to be forced into an arranged marriage.

As the second part of the date, the guys have to put on kilts and compete in the Highland Games, which is like medieval American Gladiators. If you guessed that Jef and Chris would not be very good at something like this, and that Sean would be awesome, then you are correct. At one point, Sean chucked a gigantic log and broke it, which Emily found to be hot. Because dudes who are good at tossing logs are the most practical to marry in this day and age. (I type 100+ words per minute, ladies; give me a chance.)

Emily ends up giving Chris the strongest man award, despite his finishing last in the competition. She was impressed that he challenged Doug to this tug-of-war game despite knowing he would get his ass kicked. She likes that stuff, she says. They make out.

Sean gets a little bit of alone time, but only gets a peck. Then Arie gets some alone time and passionately throws her up against a wall in public and starts handlin’ his business. Not much to report on the things they said to her, because they just keep repeating the same things over and over again about how they might want to marry a woman they’d just met.

Jef is next up, and he gets a pretty intense makeout session during which he whispers: “Can I tell you a secret? I’m crazy about you.” Then he tells the camera he’s falling in love with her.

Chris follows and basically pledges himself to Emily forever if she gives him a chance to fall in love with her. Big game. This ultimately gets him the rose, and I think Arie might be out of the running now because of a head explosion.

Emily and Ryan set out on their date, and Emily ruminates on how it does not sit well with her that Ryan said he wanted a trophy wife. But, my research assistant told me today she had read Emily has veneers, a boob job and a nose job. So she’s like, totally the antithesis of a trophy wife, guys!

They can’t stop talking about trophy wives, and Emily is still in denial that that is more or less what she will probably eventually be. Ryan also continues to be extremely overconfident, refusing to just stop calling her a trophy. Also, he made a list of things he’s looking for in a woman and I’m not even going to type it here because it’s very redundant and run-of-the-mill.

Emily gets the vibe she has to be perfect every time she’s around Ryan and she doesn’t want to have to feel that way. Could be a negative, right? Eventually she says she doesn’t know if what they want out of a relationship is the same, and he doesn’t get the rose. This is the first rose decision where Emily isn’t sure whether she’s made the right choice or not, she says. Ryan disputes her decision, and she pulls the “I don’t think I’d be the one to make you happy” approach, which is a great way to make yourself feel better about rejecting somebody.

Ryan leaves and is probably thinking, “When I grow up and get married, I’m livin’ alone!”

Arie, like a baller, comes to Emily’s hotel room to talk to her. This is a good move, because he pretty much had to sneak out of the apartment to do this. Emily gives Arie an unsolicited rose that really doesn’t mean anything, competition wise, and he makes out with her on her bed.

How does Emily feel about this? Like this: “My heart is happy.” Arie feels like he could ask her to marry him tomorrow. Dude is way back in the lead.

Wolf (fine, John) gets some alone time, and gets very sentimental with Emily about his grandparents and their love. He says he feels like his grandfather, who died nine years ago the day this episode was filmed, is his guardian angel. Then he gets to kiss her.

Doug has some alone time with Emily, and then he talks to the camera and starts weeping because he misses his son.

THE ROSE CEREMONY

Winners: Jef, Arie and Sean get roses without incident, and then Emily leaves the room to talk to host guy Chris. Once verified that she is within her bachelorette rights to do so, Emily decides to give Wolf and Doug roses. They gave this woman an extra rose to use. So that happened.

So, remaining we have Jef, Arie, Chris, Doug, John and Sean.

They’re going to Prague, next.

Image courtesy wetpaint.com

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