‘Real Housewives of New York City’ Recap (Season 4, Episode 11): Grossest. Episode. Ever.

Eew! Eew! Eew! This episode starts about as disgustingly as possible, focusing on Ramona and Alex’s intimate romantic moments with their husbands. Ramona gets a hotel room, wears lingerie she bought for the occasion and gives Mario a back and foot massage. Gross as that sounds, it’s nothing compared to the Alex and Simon segment. It was bad enough to see them eating oysters, but then Simon gives Alex a basket of lingerie as a gift (with a creepy, lecherous look on his face the whole time that makes me shudder even now). And worse still, she proceeds to model the lingerie for him. This all goes on for what seems like an eternity. I sat in disbelief, alternating between wishing blindness on myself and worrying that I might regurgitate the M&M’s I’d been munching on. If you’re planning on watching this episode, you’d do yourself a favor to miss the first twelve to fifteen minutes.

Finally, the focus shifts to Cindy, who is eager to show her brother and assistant photos Jill sent her from Morocco. But when they look at the pictures, Cindy realizes that Sonja has cut her out of all the camel riding shots. Sonja’s reaction via interview was, “I enjoyed every minute of cutting her out of the pictures.” At least she owned it. Cindy does get off a bit of a zinger on her blog though, writing “I guess her word is about as good as her checks.” Ouch!

Naturally, the focus then transitions to Sonja, who takes her niece Amina to meet her knew beau, Dr. Neil Sadick (who looks like he’s in his seventies). She gets some kind of face lift or facial work done. I won’t pretend to know what I’m talking about. I do know it was more grossness. This is also the first mention of Sonja’s filing for bankruptcy.

LuAnn and Francois then show us that a romantic moment need not be gross and inappropriate. They dine on French food and share some jokes and lighthearted conversation. In light of Alex and Ramona’s escapades earlier in the episode, it’s refreshing to see a more tasteful display of affection.

Sonja’s bankruptcy is the main point of discussion at Jill’s focus group for her new shapewear line – an event she invites all the women to, except Ramona. She explains she, “can’t trust her on this kind of thing. This is how I make my money.”

Alex thinks that Jill was just, “looking for any excuse under the sun to not invite Ramona.”

At any rate Sonja’s bankruptcy is discussed by the ladies and Jill explains assets and liabilities to her. I think she was just trying to help, but she just didn’t know when to stop talking (it wouldn’t be the first time). Alex viewed it as more malicious than that, comparing Jill to a “rabid dog jumping down [Sonja’s] throat.” She also claims, “Jill’s basing her information on what she reads in the gossip papers.”

Is it just me or does the Alex/Jill feud seem to be back on? It’s just Alex talking behind Jill’s back at this point, but Jill is bound to react eventually.

Alex then goes immediately (at least it seems that way) to go tell Ramona about the focus group. Ramona sees it as Jill not being true to her word to work on their friendship. “Jill and I left Morocco promising to be more open and communicate better with each other,” Ramona says, “She doesn’t do what she says.” Alex goes on to tell Ramona about Sonja’s bankruptcy coming up in conversation, and how inappropriate she thought Jill’s reaction was. “If I was there I would have smacked the shit out of her,” Ramona says, no doubt dropping a few jaws. Jill should have invited Ramona to the focus group, but this is another example of Alex getting herself in the middle of drama and fanning the flames.

Later Ramona visits with Sonja and consoles her. Sonja breaks into tears and confides in her. “I trusted the wrong people,” she says. She explains she filed bankruptcy because of a recent lawsuit, and that she did so to protect her home. “I’m heartbroken,” she cries, “That’s the word. Heartbroken.” This is not the kind of drama we like to see. Fiscal problems aren’t funny, (unless it’s Teresa on Real Housewives of New Jersey shouting at Danielle about her house not being in foreclosure) they’re boring and sad.

We’re back to the good stuff, however, as Alex and LuAnn meet for cappuccino to discuss their recent problems in Morocco. Alex explains her actions during the henna incident: “I was very concerned about what was going on between you and Ramona and I wanted to tell you.”

LuAnn asks her, “Why do you want to put yourself in the middle? Why don’t you get a life?” LuAnn says that she expected this to be a pleasant meeting and not an attack.

“This shows your own delusion,” Alex replies. She explains to the camera, “LuAnn behaved as though I’d invited her to coffee to apologize…I didn’t know it was possible to be that delusional.”

“I was sitting there having a lovely moment with the ladies and you came in, in your Herman Munster shoes,” at which point Alex interjects, pointing out that they’re Louis Vuitton shoes, to which LuAnn replies, “Well, even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes.”

LuAnn leaves with the parting shot, “And you know, don’t take this literally, but don’t forget what happens to the messenger. Okay? Get a life.” And stop parading around in lingerie on camera! This isn’t Orange County. It’s New York.

Where was Kelly this episode? She was on camera for like two seconds. Her presence was definitely missed, as this episode just alternated between pretty revolting and pretty boring.

Some predictions: At this point another Ramona/Jill blowup seems kind of inevitable. Jill really should have invited Ramona to the focus group, she must have known it was going to cause problems to leave her out. Ramona kind of overreacted with her “smack the shit out of her” line though. LuAnn and Alex clearly aren’t going to make up anytime soon. And Cindy will probably just do her best to avoid the craziness. We’ll see how long she can hold out.

More Faster Housewives:

Real Housewives of NYC Morocco Mishigas: A Recap

‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Recap (Season 3, Episode 5)

‘Real Housewives of Orange County’ Recap (Season 6, Reunion Pt. 1)

Erik Oster is an Assistant Editor at The Faster Times and a writer, editor and musician from Fairfield County, Connecticut. After graduating Goucher College in 2008 with a degree in creative writing, ...read more

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