Do I Suck Enough for You to Send Me Away?

On the Go Tours has launched what it bills as “the world’s first unpopularity contest,” through which contestants share stories of how awful they are in the hopes that their friends and family (and, I suppose, strangers) will vote to get rid of them. The winner will get a fully paid six-month trip to 18 different countries around the world. I haven’t found anything in the small print that says it’s six months’ worth of guided tours with On the Go, but it seems like it would have to be. Not that there’s anything wrong with that — as guided tours go, On the Go offers the least lame of the bunch. The caveat? You have to document your trip.

Bah. I wish I had read that before signing up. Here I was thinking, “Finally! A vacation!” But no, there is documentation involved. It’s a travel writer’s worst nightmare. Don’t let that stop you from voting for me, though.

At least I made some effort to play by the rules of an unpopularity contest and admitted to all the reasons I can be insufferable. Some people just wrote stuff like “Because I got bit by the travel bug and I really want to travel!” Hmm… although maybe that’s brilliant, because now I do sort of hate that person.

People are going crazy, making videos, writing songs, really going for it, but so few have the wit to pull it off. Thus far, my favorite (apart from myself — did I mention you could vote for me here?) is Vanessa Dawson, who writes, “I got chicken pox at age 24, spread it to an unknowing school full of children and a plane-load of Icelandic folk… just look at the picture of me – get me the frick out of here!!!!” The picture, as you might imagine, is of a pocked Dawson, sleeping. Gross. And she uses the “Bird” song from Family Guy as her theme music. Truly awful. Well done, Dawson.

A close runner-up is Lana Lee, who writes simply: “Tired of being digitally harassed and stalked by Lana Lee? Then vote to get rid of me!” Also, in the daily confession box on her page–and admittedly, I can’t figure out if these are just Lee’s confessions or culled from the whole site, so she might be getting credit that is not her due–there’s this little gem: “In a crowded bus, I like to take my shoes off and let my smelly, sweaty feet get some fresh air.”

You and me both, Lana Lee. May the smelliest woman win.

Comments