So, it’s officially the end of August, the time when everyone thinks: “What did I do the past three months?” True, you didn’t go camping in Yosemite, you rainchecked seeing the Eiffel Tower with your family, and you told everyone that you went to Venice (California, not Italy, but you’ll make sure they don’t find out the difference). But let’s be optimistic: The summer’s far from over. So instead of going to Europe, Japan, or, the most popular choices this season — North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan — why not stay in the U.S. and squeeze in a few short trips before Autumn?
Better yet, why not travel to a destination that’s home to one of the country’s most controversial social issues? If you’re tired of street protests and seeing friends and co-workers in same-sex relationships that cannot lead to a legal wedding in one of our Most Enlightened 44 states, travel to one of the six (by next January — with no vetos, that is) where a couple can enjoy such a union.
In that spirit, here are some same-sex-marriage travel tips*:
1) Currently, you can see a same-sex marriage performed in Boston, Connecticut, or maybe Iowa. If you live on the east coast, this is good news. If you’re a west coast dweller, it can give you a chance to escape restrictions on marriage and IOU’s due to a faltering economy.
2) Find marriage listings in the local newspaper of your travel desintation. For example, if you’re traveling to Boston, pick up a copy of The Boston Globe (it still exists, right?). If you can’t seem to find a newspaper in the destination of your choice, it’s possible that same-sex unions have been rejected or that they thoroughly enrage local conservatives, who believe that these announcements lead to “incestuous birth announcements.” In this case, there’s always the Internet.
3) Once you find an actual same-sex marriage event, either by accident or through determined research, go there! Then, tell the bride, groom, or uncle, likely putting back his third whiskey sour, that you want to see an act considered illegal in your state. They’ll understand. Whiskey is powerful.
4) Invite Barack Obama through Facebook. Since he is your friend, there should be no problem receiving a swift reply. This could be your chance to find out the truth about his views on gay marriage. Maybe you can even talk about it over a Bud Light.
5) Charge your camera. For any gay-marriage travel expedition, you will need to show an array of photo albums to your friends and family, lest they find it hard to believe that you undertook your journey (especially if they live in one of the 44 states where such a union cannot be performed).
6) Optional: Extend your travels. Follow your wedding visit with a trip to a state that recognizes (yet does not allow you to perform) same-sex marriages. (If you’re in Boston, for example, New York is only a legal skip away). Then, meet some folks who feel “recognized.” This will warm the heart. That said, if you can stand to hold onto your travel boots until September, all the better: You might be one of the first to see a marriage performed in Vermont and Maine. What’s better: seeing Big Ben or history in the making?
Yet you’re actually in luck if you’re still seeking an international trip. You may soon be able to visit England to attend a Quaker ceremony. Quakers have voted to allow marriage between same-sex couples, according to a recent Times News report, and they plan to ask the British government to change the law. We’ll see how this one turns out. At least they don’t live in California.
*Note: I do not support wedding crashing and am not responsible for damages that may result.
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