News 
Desperate Mom Still Riding Mother’s Day High
In what some are calling a Mother’s Day miracle and others are dismissing as the desperate delusions of a sad woman, Westchester Mom Kate Greenfield is still clinging to ... ...read more
Attorney Actually Starting to Believe Own Bullshit
After 42 years of practicing law, Fort Worth-based defense attorney Ralph DeHart told reporters he is actually starting to believe his own bullshit. Standing on the steps of the... ...read more
Visit Home Marred By Realization That Son is Huge Disappointment
The happy anticipation that filled the parents of 28-year-old Sammy Ludwig upon his return for a “quick break from Asheville” just this morning has quickly been replaced... ...read more
Kim Jong Un: We Have Nukes! Working on Discman
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – Kim Jong Un, the leader of the state of North Korea, has made it very clear to the world that the country is ready to join the list of countries w... ...read more
Bank of Cyprus to Reopen As Gyro Stand
An employee at the Bank of Cyprus prepares a gyro. In the wake of an investigation revealing alleged evidence tampering and still reeling from their recent financial woes, the B... ...read more
Giant Star of David, Hairy Chest Doom Mossad Agent
A spokesman for Hezbollah’s military wing confirmed the group had arrested an Israeli Mossad agent in West Beirut on Friday after noticing a large Star of David hanging fr... ...read more
Sallie Mae CEO Regrets “Total Debt Forgiveness” April Fools Prank
Anthony P. Terracciano, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Sallie Mae, the student loan giant who makes $700 million yearly from fees from students in default, has apologized... ...read more
Occupy Catan Demands Lord Pay Fair Share of Wheat, Sheep, Ore
Rob Greenwalt, a 23 year old Graphic Designer living in Bushwick, says he is tired of the tyranny. Though he maintains that the Occupy Catan movement is a horizontal one without... ...read more
Anti-Gay Marriage State Rep Admits All Weddings are “Kind of Gay”
State Representative John Larter (R-TX) voted “YES” on defining marriage as a sacred bond between one man and one woman in 2006. But on Friday, Representative Larter admitted to... ...read more
Student Who Won’t Stop Nodding His Head Isn’t Following a Word
In news that some classmates say comes as no surprise, that guy sitting in the front row of Philosophy 302 who nods knowingly after almost every sentence spoken by the professor... ...read more
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