Welcome to Anguilla! The ladies are excited to arrive in their new villa, which is at a giant resort. Is this the episode where the ladies end up drunk at the hotel bar, and go home with some vacationing Germans? I really hope so.

Ricky Bobby gets the first date. A helicopter circles…

Brad Womack is, in his own words, selfish, sexist, and “a broken man.” I’m sorry, I mean, Brad Womack is The Bachelor, for the second time. The first time he was on, three years ago, he sent home the last two women, unable to commit to either one. He’s been to therapy, which means he is…

At the start of episode two of the Bachelor, Brad is still nervous, and the ladies are still drunk. When Chris Harrison drops off the first date card, he literally drops it and backs away, the way one might feed an angry lion.

Brad has chosen to take one of the Ashleys out on his first…