The Bachelor

The Bachelor Finale: Poppin’ the Question

Emma Straub |
So it’s down to Chantel and Emily. Though I think the best final challenge would be a drinking contest at the Chuggin’ Monkey, The Brad seems like he’s going t... more

The Bachelor: The Women Tell More Than You Care to Hear

Emma Straub |
Chris Harrison has a new hairdo, everybody. It’s more spiky than swoopy, more perky than pouty. Way to go, Chris, even though you are not nine-years-old, therefore making ... more

The Bachelor, Episode Nine: Hungry Hungry Hippos

Emma Straub |
We are really getting down to the wire: The Brad is taking Emily, Chantel, and Ashley to South Africa where he is going to feed 1 of them to some hungry lions. The producers are... more

The Bachelor, Episode Eight: Meet the Parents

Emma Straub |
The time has come for The Brad to visit the remaining four ladies’ hometowns. We’re down to Chantel, Shawntel, Ricky Bobby, and Ashley. First stop: Seattle! Chantel is excited t... more

The Bachelor, Episode Seven: Thrilla in Anguilla

Emma Straub |
Welcome to Anguilla! The ladies are excited to arrive in their new villa, which is at a giant resort. Is this the episode where the ladies end up drunk at the hotel bar, and go ... more

The Bachelor, Episode Six: Jungle Love Is Driving Me Crazy

Emma Straub |
Episode Six starts with The Brad on a solo helicopter ride in Costa Rica. The Brad wants Costa Rica to provide answers. I would like it to provide some more exciting dates. Monk... more

The Bachelor, Episode Five: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Emma Straub |
Chris Harrison congratulates the eleven remaining women, and tells them that they’re all leaving Los Angeles to find love. Instead of my first guess, Hades, they’re going to Las... more

The Bachelor, Episode Four: Crazy Maria and the Black Eye

Emma Straub |
What do you know—Maria Menounos wakes up with a black eye! She thinks it’s probably due to stress. I think she did it to herself in order to make The Brad put his saliva on her ... more

The Bachelor, Episode Three: Ricky Bobby Comes Clean

Emma Straub |
The ladies look a little hungover. Some of them aren’t even wearing any make-up. Chris Harrison has just hosted the Miss America pageant, and I can tell he misses those wholeso... more

The Bachelor, Episode Two: You Are Like A Toxic Disease

Emma Straub |
At the start of episode two of the Bachelor, Brad is still nervous, and the ladies are still drunk. When Chris Harrison drops off the first date card, he literally drops it and ... more

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