Before the Wimbledon final had even started it was announced that, regardless of victor, Novak Djokovic would overtake Rafael Nadal to the perch at the top of the ATP rankings table. There’s always reason to be sceptical over these rankings and their subsequent seeding – Jo-Wilfried Tsonga and Juan-Martin Del Potro, who both played brilliant tournaments at Wimbledon that they can be proud of, are still ranked a handful of places below Andy Roddick, eliminated in the third round and enduring a pretty lacklustre year, shoulder injury permitted.

But had Nadal swept away Djokovic in the Wimbledon final, scepticism would have only been further reinforced. Two Grand Slam titles in a year and your reward is a demotion? So goes the crazy world of sports statistics; sometimes it’s best not to read into them too much.

That is not to take anything away from Novak Djokovic, however. The Serb was majestic en route to snatching his first Wimbledon title, his first ever title on grass court. In fact, Djokovic has been majestic the entire year, losing just one solitary match in all 2011; the French Open semi-final to Roger Federer. There is no shame in losing to one of the best players of all time, so we’ll forgive you for that one, Novak.

However, going into the final with a record of 49 wins in 50 matches and four victories against Nadal already this year, Djokovic was riding the crest of a wave of confidence into this final. The Serb took the first two sets, 6-4, 6-1, in just over an hour, making just two unforced errors in the process. This might well have been the best tennis the 24-year-old has yet produced in his career. The power emanating from his base-line shots, a flawless volley game at the net and a robust return of serve – whatever Nadal threw at Djokovic, he provided an answer for.

A lapse in the third set by the Serb, which he quickly seemed to give up in a bid to spare his energy, was followed by lapse on Nadal’s behalf towards the end of fourth. Nadal was broken at 3-4, after a double fault and two unforced errors. From that moment on, you could see Djokovic putting together a list of ‘Thank you’s in his head.

And as Nadal hit his final backhand long behind the baseline, Djokovic collapsed to the ground in joy. He said that his childhood dreams were to become the world number one and win the prestigious Wimbledon title. In the space of 24 hours he had achieved both. He then ripped a piece of grass off the court and placed it in his mouth. Victory had surely never tasted so sweet.

Djokovic’s position at the top clearly spells out that he is now the man to beat, which injects a huge surge of relief into the tennis world, after a seven-and-a-half year hegemony of Federer and Nadal sharing the top position between themselves. How long he will stay at the zenith, however, remains to be seen, of course. Djokovic doesn’t yet those all-conquering characteristics and style of play that many great number ones displayed in their heyday, but these achievements are certainly there to be grasped. How he does at the US Open in September will be very interesting, now that all eyes will be on him.

For the meantime, however, Belgrade can rejoice in their champion; a slightly more unconventional champion than the tennis world is used to. One that, as well as looking good on the court, would also look great on the comedy circuit, on Dancing With the Stars and on the soccer pitch. A man of many talents now resides over the pinnacle of the tennis world, and I bet I can point out which song they will be playing during his celebrations, too.

Photo courtesy of the Hindu

The post Novak Djokovic: A Worthy Number One, For Now appeared first on The Faster Times.

It therefore comes as no surprise that Ian Ritchie, the chief executive of the All England Lawn and Tennis Club, has lambasted female tennis players for grunting, claiming that it spoils the game and annoys spectators.

The claims come after Belarusian Victoria Azarenka managed to howl out at an astounding 95 decibels on the first day of the tournament. In the same match, battling against Slovakia’s Magdalena Rybarikova, Azarenka let out a shriek that lasted a second and a half.

“The players have an ability to complain about it – if one player is grunting too much and the other player doesn’t like it and it is distracting, they can complain to the umpire,” Ritchie told the Daily Telegraph.

Is this really such a big deal? It was to my understanding that grunting female tennis stars only increased the fan appeal of the sport. Would Maria Sharapova be considered one of the world’s sexiest women if she hadn’t unleashed a record 105-decibel grunt in 2009? Well, probably, but the extra incentive helps.

Furthermore, women’s tennis currently reeks of sex appeal. Never before as so much emphasis been placed on fashion in tennis and more female tennis stars are following in the foot steps of Anna Kournikova by taking on a extravagant part-time modeling jobs. As my own dad puts it, “These days, they’re just as nice to listen to as they are to look at.”

By this point, grunting as become so manifest in women’s tennis that the players consider as much a part of their game as their top-spin. “I have been doing it since I was 10 years old. I wasn’t really strong and that was what helped me to accelerate more, to put more power to the ball,” said Azarenka, seeded fourth at this year’s Wimbledon. “I cannot change it, that’s what helps me to play. I have to keep going with the thing that helps me play.”

There we have it; if it helps the players and amuses the fellas, then I don’t see why there need to be such vehement calls to expel it from tennis. Grunt-offs are half the fun of the WPTA tour anyway, as the clip below demonstrates.

Photo courtesy of Fox News

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It was a game of two very contrasting figures. In the one corner of the Rod Laver Arena, a hard-hitting resemblance to a buffed-up replica of Screech from Saved by the Bell, wildly overdosing off confidence and powerful forehands. In the other, a sullen man, haunted by the ghost of Fred Perry, forgetting how to a, hit a first serve and b, talk to your mother in a way that both expresses candid emotion and is acceptable in our progressive society.

And so it went for two-and-something hours before Novak Djokovic inflicted the final wound into Andy Murray, who was already looking more and more like your opponent in Wii Boxing who you relentlessly beat down before the second set had even really gotten into its rhythm. Djokovic took the match with a cool 6-4, 6-2, 6-3 win.

Although perhaps it’s more accurate to say that Murray gifted Djokovic the match; practically having it gift-wrapped for him. Only a week between the two in age, their games were lightyears apart.

It’s difficult to say what moments of the match were worthy of being reported. Perhaps Murray’s very first service in the match, which lasted an incredible 16 minutes, included fives deuces before Murray eventually took it. But it proved to be a warning-sign for Murray’s service game. It all sort of went down hill from there; Murray barely managed to hit 50 per cent of his first serves for the remainder of the match.

Djokovic could only play along with it. He didn’t need a game plan, nor a strong head. All it required were steady groundstrokes and quick feet. For a man hot of the heels of defeating Roger Federer in the semifinals, this proved a formality.

Having shown such promise leading up the final and carrying the expectations of that illustrious first slam title, Murray’s frustrations vibrated into his team’s box, where his coach and his mother watched from. After losing the first set, he looked to them and gestured that they calm down. After losing the second, the whole arena heard him holler “Shut up” towards them, before sulking on his bench.

After the final point, an over-joyed Djokovic stripped off his shirt and shoes and went mildly ballistic. This was only the Serb’s second slam, after winning in Melbourne three years ago at only 20-year-old. Murray, on the other hand, sort of looked relieved it was all over – kind of like Leafs forward Phil Kessel will be feeling later today during the NHL All Star game.

What was even more stomach-churning than Murray’s performance, though, was the exchange of words by the two players during the trophy presentation. “You had an unbelievable tournamentand deserved to win,” Murray said to Djokovic. “I look forward to playing against you in the future. I would like to thank my team … yadda yadda yadda.”

Djokovic returned the kind words, saying: ”It was really difficult to play against you tonight. Hopefully you will have a chance to win a grand slam. I’m sure with your talent, you will.” Watching this brought back eerie flashbacks of a 13-year-old me trying to flirt with the freckled girl who sat across from me in French class.

Murray predicted that the match would be “brutal,” but that was surely aimed at spectators in the Rod Laver Arena with pacemakers, overwhelmed by the capricious rallies. In the end, he was the only one to suffer. Well, him and rest of the UK still waiting for that British grand slam title in 75 years. This was Murray’s third slam final, and he has failed to win a single set in each.

Is a new strategy needed? Maybe Murray should be chained up to his bed and doused in holy water as his team try to exorcise the ghost of Fred Perry.

Woah, that it, then. I’d like to thank everybody you tuned into my Australian Open coverage over the last two weeks. If I kept you acutely informed and mildly entertained I consider it a great success. See you all at Roland Garros in May.

Photos courtesy of Fox Sports and EPA

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As Li Na’s final backhand soared wide in the Australian Open Final, a euphoric and somewhat relieved Kim Clijsters threw her arms in the air and burst into tears.

After securing her fourth grand slam, her first outside of New York, Clijsters honoured the Aussie crowd, whose hearts she had captured over the two weeks. “Now I finally feel like you guys can call me Aussie Kim because I won the title,” she said.

Clijsters won it in a tricky three-set bout, losing the first set to China’s first ever slam finalist. But her experience proved key in taking the match 3-6, 6-3, 6-3.

Showing the signs of a great player, Clijsters needed to rethink her game plan to overcome Li after conceding the first set in the Rod Laver Arena. She bounced back immaculately and produced the professional and disciplined performance that got her to the final.

The old Clijsters would have struggled to find a Plan B against her opponent. But the Belgian, who will jump a place in the ATP ranking to number two after her victory, has the look of an more complete player since breaking back into the tennis scene. She came out of her two-year retirement spell, which saw her get married and have a child, had has crowned he return with three grand slams in the last 18 months.

Li, however, had lesser words of encouragement for the crowd, especially those on her side, showing no love for the “amateur coaches” in the stands who, despite their best intentions in cheering her on, proved to be a nuisance.

At 3-3 in the second, after being broken, an irritated Li marched to umpire chair and asked, “Can you tell the Chinese, not to teach me how to play tennis?”

Speaking to reporters after the match, Li explained her frustrations: “I think Chinese people watching tennis can’t be polite … (saying) ‘Take her out!’ and other things,” she said. “When they were calling out things it was during returns, so I felt” – deeply inhaling — “so tired!”

It’s an odd thing to say for someone looking to push tennis into the Chinese market, but it’s not expected to do her popularity back home much damage. With an estimated hundreds of millions fans watching in China – whether they were also amateur coaches or not remains to be confirmed – and a hero’s reception expected upon her arrival, e we could see the popularity of the sport excel.

This begs the question as to whether he might see a changing of the old guard in women’s tennis in the coming years. Sure, Clijsters won the tournament, but she has reportedly also announced plans to retire a second time next year and plans to have a second child.

Her Belgian compatriot Justine Henin announced her retirement following her exit from the tournament, and the Williams sisters are both in their 30s now. If there was a time to embrace tennis and throw some serious competitors out onto the circuit over the coming years, now is it.

Photos courtesy of AP

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Tennis fans around the UK will be asking themselves the million-dollar question in the run up to Sunday’s Australian Open final: “When will a Brit finally win one of those illustrious men’s grand slam singles titles we’ve heard so much about?”

They’ve been asking this question for 75 years. Since Fred Perry won Wimbledon back in 1936, British tennis players have fallen short on the big stage, about four times a year. For a nation claiming to have invented the sport, that’s pretty pathetic.

But once again, and now perhaps more than ever, Britain expects. Andy Murray produced a fantastic performance, after staring despair in the eyes in the second set, defeating Spaniard David Ferrer to make the Australian Open final.

It was a tough match for both players, which could have gone to either of them. But the defining moment came in that second set. With Ferrer serving for a two-set lead, Murray salvaged two set points before breaking the Spaniard, getting back into the match and finally winning the subsequent tiebreak.

But Murray may have had lady luck on his side. After the match, he that he wasn’t even aware he was defending a set-point.

“You won’t believe this, but I didn’t know the score,” Murray said, sporting a sheepish grin. “I don’t know, I was just focusing so hard I was in a sort of bubble, I thought it was 4-3, not 5-4.”

Ignorance was well and truly bliss in these circumstances.

With momentum on his side, the plucky Scott stormed through the third set, but was once again made to work hard in an incredibly close and hard-fought fourth. Again, it went all the way to the wire, decided by another another tiebreak. Murray took it, and took the match 4-6, 7-6, 6-1, 7-6.

Playing the best tennis of career, Britain has good reason to expect. Murray has been the most consistent player on the tour and has had an easier run to his third grand slam final than he would have initially anticipated.

Instead of meeting fourth seed Soderling, world number-one Nadal and confronting all-time great Federer in the final, he took on the unseeded Dologopolov, seventh seed Ferrer and now faces Djokovic in the final.

This is the moment to seize the opportunity. It’ll be Murray’s third grand slam final, having made last year’s final in Australia and the 2008 US Open final, both of which he lost to Federer. All the older and all the wiser, Murray hope that experience can give him more of an edge this time around.

“My first slam final [against Roger Federer in the 2008 US Open], I didn’t now what was going on. Last year [against Federer in Australia] was better – and I hope this is going to be better than last year’s.”

But it’s not going to be an easy ride on Sunday, by any means. Djokovic has looked a poised package throughout the Open and outdoes Murray when it comes to experience, having won his first and so far only Slam here in 2008. Not Murray will admit that, of course.

“Experience-wise we’re similar. We’re good friends, practise a lot together, so there won’t be any secrets – but it’s going to be a brutal match,” said the Scott. Bring it on.

Photo courtesy of BBC

The post Australian Open 2011: Murray Beats Ferrer to Set Up “Brutal” Final Against Djokovic appeared first on The Faster Times.

Men’s

The universe is full of paradigm shifts: Charles Darwin’s theory of Evolution, the restructuring of the Earth’s tectonic plates and the change in the zodiac calendar, which saw me go to bed a proud Capricorn and wake up a Sagittarius – a demographic of the population I’ve always resented for their relentless love for life and their routine switching in political allegiances. I now know how Cartman felt when he woke up a ginger.

And now the tennis world may be also be going through a transformation with Roger Federer’s defeat at the hands of Novak Djokovic in straight sets at the Australian Open semi finals yesterday. With both the Swiss and Nadal now out of the tournament, conspiracy theorists are speculating a shift in the ATP’s hierarchy. A new world order. A new beginning. Tenisis.

Because Djokovic didn’t just defeat Federer, he brushed him aside with near-total disregard. The Serb dominated throughout most of the three hours with stronger forehands, adroit backhands and better movement on the court.

For Federer, on the other hand, this was on of those rare occasions where there absolutely no winning formula in sight. If there was ever a video that could visualize the difference in spirits in form of a zany round of karaoke, this is it.

Federer’s inferiority obviously got to him, too. First, he cruelly ordered a ten-year-old ball boy to remove a feather from the court that was supposedly distracting him – a f*cking feather! – before getting frustrated and impatient with the young child when he either couldn’t find it or simply refused to put with up with that crap.

And then, in wonderfully slapstick fashion, another feather floated onto the court, which King Louis XIV, sorry, Federer again ordered to be swiftly removed.

Federer’s demolition could have all gone so differently. A break down in the second set, the Swiss ran riot for about 20 minutes and raced into a 5-2 lead. But Djokovic labelled this his greatest ever performance, and with good reason. The Serb exploded back into the match and left absolutely no room for error as he then took five consecutive games to win the set. After that, there was no response from Federer, nothing as much as a squeak, as Djokovic took the match 7-6, 7-5, 6-4 and booked a place in the final, where he’ll face either Andy Murray or David Ferrer; each probably now wishing they were facing Federer.

This will be the first time that Federer has not held any of the grand slams since 2003, meaning he’ll have to come up with a new centre piece when he hosts dinner parties. It might also mean that, at 29, he has truly passed his best.

When asked whether this defeat was a sign that a changing of the guard is around the corner, he smiled and said “Ask me again in six months”.

He continued: “We’ll discuss matters over dinner and we’ll drink punch out of the Wimbledon trophy, which will have my name engraved into for a, what, seventh time?”

Women’s

History was made in the women’s draw to the joy of only about 1.3 billion people as China finally has its first ever repetitive in a grand slam final.

Li Na defeated the top-seed Carline Wozniacki in an exciting bout of wits and discipline. Na dropped the first set, and faced a Danish match point in the second. Wozniacki failed to convert it, and obviously frustrated, she followed it with a double fault, essentially handing Li Na the second set.

The world number-one was obviously demoralized, as she surrendered her spirit and energy in the third set, which was over before you even knew it. It finished 3-6, 7-5, 6-3.

Wozniacki left the court in tears. I’m not say we should ridicule her for this, but unfortunately, there’s no clip of this yet. So, instead, just enjoy a selection of (fake) Glenn Beck breakdowns here, here and here.

But Li Na was reluctant to confirm whether her victory would finally inspire a love and passion for tennis in China – or as they call it over there, giant ping-pong.

“Good for me,” she said, “good for my team … maybe good for China tennis. I’m not sure. Maybe.”

When pressed to explain this, she said that it would all depend on how the Chinese media portrayed here. A media student herself, she knows that the media there can often be unpredictable, so she chose her words carefully.

“I mean, you have to see what they are write down for me.” Despite her unsound English, the message was obvious: “Everything decide for the media.”

So, just like America, then.

Li Na will face Belgian Kim Clijsters in the final, who took vengeance on Vera Zvonareva after the Russian defeated her in the same round at Wimbledon last year.

Clijsters took the match 6-3 6-3, and is yet to drop a set at the open. Playing some pretty sh*t hot tennis, it’s no wonder she’s the bookies’ favourite to grab her third grand slam title and the first outside the US.

After the match, Clijsters revealed the secret to her success: Playing better than her opponents when still not quite playing her best.

Now that’s smug, right there. That’s almost Liam Gallagher smug.

Photos courtesy of Reuters

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Men’s

Rafael Nadal will wake up this afternoon in Australia feeling a, pretty wired off the painkillers he’s been gulping, and b, devastated over missing the opportunity of taking the Australian Open and being the first player to hold all four grand slams simultaneously.

That’s right, you read correctly. Nadal was defeated in straight sets by fellow Spaniard David Ferrer in the quarterfinals of the open.

But the match was characterized as early as the second game, which lasted an incredible 17 minutes, contained two break points, eight deuces, 22 Nadal serves, a Ferrer break and a strained hamstring for the world number-one.

Following the game, Nadal took an injury time-out, returned with a bandage strapped across his right leg, but he never looked like himself from there on. His pace, his drives and his serves were all slower; too slow as it turned out.

Ferrer broke Nadal again in the first set, and from then on there was an air of inevitability about the result.

Not to take anything away from Ferrer, of course. The guy did just beat Nadal; someone who could still beat the half the ATP roster without a right leg at all, wearing an eye-patch and refreshing only on coffee.

No, Ferrer was reflective over how to seize the advantage. Instead of rushing his shots and opting for an overly aggressive game, Ferrer remained composed and forced Nadal to painfully compete in a series of long rallies over the following two hours – pretty sadistic if you ask me, but pretty effective, too. Ferrer took the match 6-4, 6-2, 6-3.

Nadal, however, remained incredibly honourable in defeat, applauding his opponent and refusing to place the blame on his injury. ”I can’t say nothing about the injury. Seriously, I would prefer I don’t talk a lot about the injury … tonight I don’t know nothing and, second, respect to the winner and a friend,” said Nadal. “

‘It seems I always have problems when I lose and I don’t like to have this image.”

Senor Nadal, you are a gentleman and a scholar. Cherish the sportsmanship while you can, as we roll into trashtalking-induced Superbowl fever next week.

If anyone took pleasure out of this result other than Camp Ferrer, it was plucky Brit Andy Murray, who overcame the giant-killing powerhouse from the Ukraine, Ukrainian Alexandr Dolgopolov.

The match, which spanned just over three hours, was tale of two contrasting styles of play. Hot off two victories, which no one in their right mind expected him to win, Dologpolov was perhaps exceeding even his own expectations. He was rash and heedless with his game, the obvious signs of inexperience.

Murray, on the other hand, remained disciplined, collective and brilliantly boring – pretty much the successful formula that’s seen him only lose a single set at the Aussi Open this year, and that was last night.

That third set saw Dolgopolov recover well and take it on the tiebreak. But what followed in the fourth was solemn consistency from the Scot, who raced into a 3-0 lead, taking all 12 consecutive points. By that point, there was no looking back for Murray with the semi-finals in plain view.

And if Murray keeps this level of form up, who’s to say he won’t win his first major this weekend. If the Spanish soccer taught us anything during the World Cup, it’s that boring play breeds success.

Yeah, I agree, that sounds pretty bleak for the future of the sport. C’mon Federer.

Women’s

Although my money’s going elsewhere, I genuinely hope Vera Zvonareva wins this year’s Australian Open for showing as much sympathy off the court as she did fighting spirit on it.

Zvonareva defeated the Czech number-25 seed Petra Kvitova despite a host of distractions during the match. The most potent, though, was the tragic bombing at Moscow airport two days ago that took the lives of 35 travellers and injured more than 100 more. The Russian wore a black ribbon on her visor to pay tribute to the victims.

With the devastating terrorist attack on the forefront of her mind, the number-two seed almost lost in completely when victory looked certain when 21 shots were fired in a nearby salute to mark Australia Day. Very compassionate, Melbourne. Very.

Zvonareva was leading 6-3, 3-0 when the salute took place, and her game quickly spiraled downhill before she clawed back to eventually take the second set 6-4, and with it the match.

“[When] the news came it was quite shocking,” she said. “It was difficult. Definitely there was a moment where I felt a bit uncomfortable. You’re calling back home and making sure everyone is okay, the people that you know. I just tried to put it away. It happened. It is terrible. But you try to move on.”

Spoken like a true professional. Zvonareva paid tribute to the well-being of a woman who required medical attention after collapsing in the stands.

The Russian number-two seed will Kim Clijsters in the semis after defeating  Agnieszka Radwanska of Poland in straight sets, 6-3, 7-6.

Clijsters will have the Australian crowd on her side as she wished them all a happy Australia Day in her short but sweet victory speech. The crowd were just short of going freakin’ ballistic.

Photos courtesy of the Sydney Morning Herald and AFP

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When you’re Roger Federer – which, you know, happens to all of us at least once in our lives – people are going to pick your bones and give you sh*t about how you’re just not the player you used to be.

Haters gon’ hate.

Leading up to his quarterfinal showdown against Swiss compatriot Stanislas Wawrinka, Federer had already given away four sets and been broken nine times in five matches. Last night, however, he looked like the revered Federer we all love and admire.

Federer bulldozed passed Wawrinka in a smooth hour and 47 minutes, hammering 77 per cent of his first serves in and producing a paltry 24 unforced errors. Wawrinka threw his racket and shattered the frame into little pieces.

Federer acknowledged his God-like superiority on the court. Speaking after the match he said: ”I prefer to play aggressive. I don’t overdo it either, because that’s not the point, just storming to the net, hit clean winners on every shot. It’s about building up the right plays and having the right game plan. That’s what I seem like I’m having.”

Good for you, Roger. Federer eventually took the match 6-1, 6-3, 6-3.

Novak Djokovic is the man confronting Federer and his immense ego-boost, also sponsored by Nike, probably, after he defeated the Czech Tomas Berdych. The world number-three from Serbia looks ready to give everything he has to crash the Nadal-Federer bandwagon.

Berdych’s big chance came in the second set, leading 4-1; a crossroads where one route would lead him towards contention with the grand slam big boys and the other towards a straight sets exit and a long flight home. Berdych ended up with the latter. I hope they lose his luggage for that.

Djokovic took the match 6-1, 7-6, 6-1, and history favors him going into the semis. The Serb defeated Federer in the semi-finals in 2008, and went on to snatch the Australian Open title – until now his only grand slam.

Women’s

Yesterday I mentioned that Clijsters was going to run-away with the Australian Open. The bookmakers have my back.

But judging on yesterday’s performance, Caroline Wozniacki showed amazing resolve, coming back from a set and a break down to make the semi-finals.

She defeated the Italian  Francesca Schiavone who was playing fresh off the back of her record breaking, close to 5-hour last-16 match.

Her strategy for recovery: be patient, keep composed and wait for your opponent to tire. And it worked like a charm. Wozniacki took the match  3-6, 6-3, 6-3

After the match, the Dane was presented with a three-foot tall blow-up kangaroo wearing a pair of boxing gloves at the press conference; a joking response after she was forced to apologize to the press for telling them that her leg was bandaged after being scratched  by a kangaroo in a wildlife park. It turned out that she’d really just walked into a treadmill. Bonehead.

She meets Li Na of China, who beat the German Andrea Petkovic in a cool straight sets victory, 6-4, 6-2.

Authors note: This morning, the National Post in Canada not only gave an honorable mention to Milos Raonic, the featured him on the front-bloody-page. Kudos National Post, kudos.

Photos courtesy of AP and Reuters

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Men’s

The pundits are already coining it the “Rafa Slam”. It might seem a touch premature to already carve Rafael Nadal’s name into Norman Brookes trophy, but as the world number-one left the Rob Laver Arena last night having defeated Croatian Marin Cilic, he looked a fitting candidate to hold all four major grand slams for first since, fittingly, the Australian Rob Laver in 1969.

Nadal produced his best tennis of the tournament against the big-serving Cilic. The Spaniard was already in front from the outset, breaking the Croat in the very first game and never looking back.

By the time Nadal broke Cilic in the second set to make it 4-3, there was air of inevitably about how the match would finish. The Spaniard took the match 6-2, 6-4, 6-3.

“I am very happy because I played my best match of the year at the Australian Open,” said Nadal. Personally, I can only feel an odd blend of both respect and pity for a man who shows more genuine passion and excitement on the court than in bed with Shakira.

The only other player next to Nadal to have not dropped a single set so far in the Australian is plucky old Andy Murray, who coasted into the quarterfinals after beating convincingly the Austrian Jurgen Melzer.

This was supposed to be a testing match for the Scot, but this prophecy quickly turned into a farce as Murray produced a calm, composed professional performance to win 6-3, 6-1, 6-1.

But Murray had reason to produce his best, playing in front of one of his all-time heroes, impertinent Scottish comedian Billy Connolly, who was cheering from the stands, whose cassettes would be played in the Murray family car on trips down the M6 to England. “My mum and dad were pretty lenient with that stuff. (It’s) probably why my language is so bad on the court,” said Murray. Parents, remember to over your child’s ears when he squares up against… Alexandr Dolgopolov???

That’s right, the 22-year-old Ukrainian is on a role, defying all expectations by making it past the first-round, let along reaching the quarters. After upsetting Tsonga in the last round, he did it again yesterday, beating the number-four seed Robin Soderling in an intense five-set battle.

And what a battle: Soderling easily took the first set in a mere 24 minutes. Dolgopolov was far too defensive in his game, glued to the baseline and giving the Swede the freedom to run the show. Come the second set, however, the shackles were released and the unseeded Ukrainian unleashed a torrent of big shots, sweeping away Soderling in the second and third set.

Soderline regained his composure given the circumstances and retrieved the fourth set to take it into the deciding fifth. Momentum was with the Swede, but Dolgopolov brought the big-hitters back out and ruled over an embarrassed Soderling to take the match, 1-6, 6-3, 6-1, 4-6, 6-2.

Dolgopolov has certainly captured Australian hearts and can expect the crowd’s support when he plays a Brit a in the next round.

Unfortunately the hype surround Canadian Milos Raonic also died yesterday (and here I was thinking I could get Canadians to watch tennis) as he lost in four sets to David Ferrer of Spain despite taking the first set. I guess the young Canuck got ahead of himself, as Ferrer stepped into cruise control to take the match 4-6, 6-2, 6-3, 6-4.

So what now of Raonic, Canada’s great hope on the tennis circuit. The National Post, who you may have read about in Oliver Miller’s article on how Starbucks is trying to kill you, ran a reasonably long profile on young protégé this morning – to be conveniently read by old farts who still use newspapers as their primary source of news after the match’s culmination. Given Raonic’s defeat, I’ll be impressed if I see a single mention of him in tomorrow’s sports pages. They’ll probably consist of a handful of columns on how atrocious the Maple Leafs defense is.

Women’s

I mentioned a couple of columns ago that my money was on Kim Clijsters to win the Australian Open. The bookmakers have heeded my call and installed her as the favorite after win against Ekaterina Makarova of Russia.

But it wasn’t easy for Clijsters, as the first set an outright neck-and-neck affair; Clijsters broke the Russian, Makarova immediately broke back, yadda yadda yadda. It went to a tiebreak and Clijsters had the virtue of experience on her side. The Belgian grasped it at the opportunity and took that momentum into the second, taking the match 7-6, 6-2.

The favorite will meet the Pole Agnieszka Radwanskawho, seed twelfth, who defeated Shuai Peng of China, 7-5, 6-3, 7-5.

The two other slots in the women’s quarterfinal were taken by the number-two seed Vera Zvonareva (pictured, albeit not playing tennis), who, to be honest is also looking pretty sh*t-hot at the moment, and I mean that purely in professional tennis journalism terms.

She dominated the Czech  Iveta Benesova, grabbing the game by the scruff of the neck and took maximum advantage of any exposed openings. Back and forth, and back and forth it went, before Zvonareva finished off Benesova, 6-4, 6-1. Now that’s a sex scoreline.

Sorry, I digress sometimes.  Petra Kvitova of the Czech Republic rounded up the quarterfinal roster with a plucky victory over the Italian  Flavia Pennetta. It ended 3-6, 6-3, 6-3.

Authors note: The National Post is a traditionally traditional newspaper. I only read it because I get it for free every morning at my residence. It’s not too bad; I’m already pissed off at 8am.

Authors note 2: If anyone could forward me a link to the Zvonareva-Benesova highlights, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Photos courtesy of Reuters, sportal.com.au and Forty Deuce

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The post Australian Open 2011: Who the Hell is Alexandr Dolgopolov why Should Andy Murray be Quaking? (Day Eight Review) appeared first on The Faster Times.

Men’s

Bye-bye Andy Roddick. That was the main news to come out of day seven of the Australian Open as America’s last shot in both the men’s and women’s draws was beaten at his own game by Stanislas Wawrinka of Switzerland in the last-16.

It was arduous to watch; myself always being a big fan of Roddick’s big serve famous for flattening opponents standing in way. Last night, however, Roddick’s favourite weapon was out of ammunition, as he managed only a meagre 9 aces and won only 36 per cent of points on the second serve. He lost in straight sets 6-3, 6-4, 6-4.

Wawrinka, on the other hand, had that winning touch on his side tonight, stacking up 67 winners against Roddick’s 24. Call this premature, but Wawrinka, seeded 19th, couldn’t help but resemble an alternative Swiss tennis star, whose cold shadow he’s been forced to live under for the last seven years.

The circumstances of Roddick’s defeat – this will be the first tournament in which not a single American has made it to the quarter finals since the draw expanded to 128 players in 1987- naturally has got tennis pundits all over the States speaking in anxious tones, as they predict the ominous decaying of American tennis.

In the ESPN studio, Patrick McEnroe pin-pointed Roddick’s fault: “Every time Roddick hits a forehand, he’s in trouble on the next shot. He’s getting no penetration.”

“So what?” said Roddick in a post-match interview. “At least I get to go home now and penetrate my swimsuit model / wife,” – who you coincidentally add as a Facebook friend by clicking here. Creepy fact… kind of.

Although he may find his problems on the court come to haunt him the bedroom if he fails to get the image of Adam Sandler out of his head. Hey man, that’s you get for watching ‘Just Go With It,’ which, quite frankly, looks terrible.

Alright, so enough with the film reviews and speculations over Andy Roddick and Brooklyn Decker’s sex lives. Who will be Wawrinka be squaring up against the in the quarterfinals? Roger The-Great-One Federer, that’s who.

Yes, it will be a showdown of master versus apprentice after Federer beat down Spaniard Tommy Robredo, and in doing so equalled Jimmy Connors’ record of reaching 27 consecutive grand slam quarterfinals – another sour plum in America’s cocktail.

Throughout the entire match Federer was always in control. Even when Robredo when won three games in a row and secured the second set, Federer was still in control. The second was shrugged off as if it were merely mild irritation, a speed-bump in Roger Federer’s gold plated freeway that run all the way to the final. The Swiss magish took the match 6-3, 4-6, 6-3, 6-2. Easy.

Federer and Wawrinka play each other

The other two matches of day seven saw Novak Djokovic, having acquired a new-found love for tango and sly rule-bending, erm, allegedly. Djokovic looked strong has he dismantled the number-14 seed from Spain Nicolas Almagro, 6-3, 6-4, 6-0.

After the match, Djokovic strenuously defended his and Marian Vajda, his coach’s actions, who was apparently giving his player hand signals, although whether he was just flicking the bird at the camera remains undisclosed. Djokovic went on to consider whether some sort of watchdog other than the umpire be put in place to watch over the actions of the players.

“It’s good to have somebody on the bench in Davis Cup, because they can notice things that you don’t during the match because you’re under pressure, you’re doing something wrong that you shouldn’t do” he said. On whether this – although I’m still exactly sure what – could work in women’s tennis, he went back to playing the class clown saying “The girls are too serious when they invite the coach. They should make more jokes. It would be more entertaining for us to watch the TV. I like it when I see it, what she’s going to say, you know. It’s always like, play your forehand, backhand, crack some jokes.”

I don’t get it, but it makes for better listening than Tomas Berdych after his victory over the plucky Fernando Verdasco. The Czech preceeded into the quarterfinals with surprising ease, beating the highly rated Spaniard 6-4, 6-2, 6-3. Following such a solid performance, Berdych commented: “[The performance] is definitely one of the parts of my game that I was trying to improve on… blah blah blah… this is even better for me and proved that all the hard work I have done… blah blah blah… I hope I can keep it up… blah.”

Women’s

It needed 30 games and three hours in the final set but Italian Francesca Schiavone eventually won the longest match in women’s grand slam tennis last night, as she beat the stone-faced Svetlana Kuznetsova of Russia in a match that lasted four hours and 44 minutes.

It was a match that swung more ways than Charlie Sheen’s address book, with both players struggling physically during the final set. The Italian French Open champion, who saved an impressive six match points along the way, eventually took the match 6-4, 1-6, 16-14.

Elsewhere, Danish world number-one Caroline Wozniacki encountered minimal obstruction on her quest to the quarterfinals defeated the unseeded Anastasija Sevastova from Latvia.

In a match that spared to quantum for sentiment, Wozniacki looked as strong, dogged and determined as ever to bag her first grand slam title, winning the match in that traditionally convincing 6-3, 6-4 fashion.

And my case that Maria Sharapova is better at being blonde and on a billboard that she is at playing tennis was further supported yesterday, as she went out to German Andrea Petkovic, ranked 16 places below the Russian, but with a hopes of a career in tennis.

Sharavpova essentially capitulated the match, 6-2, 6-3, and needed to get the hell out of Melbourne after taking personal offence to some of the outfits she had seen fellow players had been sporting during the tournament.

Oh, and ninth-seed Na Li of China defeated eighth-seed Victoria Azarenka of Belarus, 6.3, 6-3. I’m out of jokes on this.

Photo courtesy of the Herald Sun

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The post Australian Open 2011: Roddick Loses Match But Keeps Cool and Mojo, Federer Sets Up All-Swiss Quarterfinal and the Longest Match in Women’s Tennis… Ever appeared first on The Faster Times.