NASA Once Again Finds Cocaine at Kennedy Space Center

NASA has once again found some cocaine at the venerable Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral, Florida. NASA spokesman Allard Beutel has confirmed that 4.2 ounces of Brooklyn’s favorite party drug was found somewhere in the facility, although he did not indicate where.

This is not the first time cocaine was found at the center. In January 2010, a small amount was discovered in the hangar that houses space shuttle Discovery. One of two things is going on here, either folks at NASA are partying hard or Rumors-era Fleetwood Mac traveled through time to play one rocking space concert. My money is on the time travel, but mostly because that would just be really cool.

My question is, why would astronauts do cocaine? They are astronauts. The stuff they actually do is already a thousand times better than the stuff coke-users manically plan on one day doing. If astronauts, who let me remind you GO TO SPACE, can’t resist the temptations of drugs then how do the rest of us have any hope? Barring some last minute gift from Richard Branson, we aren’t ever gonna go to space. We are going to watch reality TV and “like” things on Facebook. NASA, get your act together! We are never gonna get to an awesome Star Trek future if you keep doing this kind of stuff.

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