Are Miami Heat Fans the Worst?

Chuck questions Miami fan base

Charles Barkley has once again reinforced his reputation as the habitual-line-stepper, this time by lashing out at the Miami Heat’s fan base. But when Charles Barkley told ESPN that the Heat “… have the worst fans… its not even loud in [American Airlines Arena]…” he’s not making a value-judgement. He’s talking about technique. They’re not angry, or mean, or unsportsmanlike. They’re just bad at being fans. When Dwyane Wade flew into the stands after a loose ball during a home game in the Heat-Bulls series, the front row gaped at him, seemingly in a daze. The natural reaction to a massive projectile careening at your face is to put your hands up, and some stadium crowds even make an effort to break their star players’ fall. Once the crowd had recovered from the shock of physical contact with another human being, they politely helped Wade back to the court, and afterwards all grinned at each other like kids in a candy store. Basketball appears to be something they’ve only read about, or seen on TV. Which is probably the case.

Earlier in the season, LeBron James had to publicly cry out for better attendance when ticket sales flagged. To Miami’s credit, in a few weeks the arena was housing the kind of crowds one would expect from a team that has the NBA’s two biggest stars, though they still weren’t quite sure what to do with themselves. Miami fans aren’t quiet because they’re cold, they’re just confused. Do we cheer while our guy take free throws, or after? Is drawing a foul good? Who’s the tall lanky guy with #1 on his jersey? Is that Lebron?

These questions are silently batted around while the game unfolds. American Airlines Arena should hand out pamphlets with a cheat-sheet. Maybe include a fight song and some cheers. You’d think that after a team brought home four division titles, two conference titles, and a Championship in its last ten years, its fans would start paying attention. But that’s the catch, because it’s easy to dismiss the Heat as a no-name franchise with lukewarm support.

Look again at that record; it’s almost exactly the same as the Boston Celtics’ in the same period, though they’ve hauled in an extra division title. The Celtics, whose fans bleed green and would tattoo a clover on their forehead if they hadn’t spent their last pay-check to replace the Paul Peirce jersey they shredded with their bare hands after one of his off-days. And what do they get for investing every ounce of themselves into that team? Only that one extra division title. Miami fans prefer to play the congenial but distant father figure. “NBA finals? Wow big guy, that’s great! But listen, daddy has just got back from a long day at work and is trying to snort this mountain of cocaine right now. So why don’t you come back when you have a nice shiny trophy to show him.” If that’s their game, it seems to have worked. At least, so far.

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