NFL Sets Limit on Number of Penis Pics Players Can Send to Marisa Miller
New NFL Spokesperson Marisa Miller Sets Sites on Penis Pics (parody)
Sports Illustrated supermodel and new NFL spokesperson Marisa Miller is not wasting any time making an impact. Only hours after the NFL announced she would be the NFL’s spokesperson for the 2010-2011 season, the Swimsuit Issue veteran waded into the sexual harassment issues plaguing the NFL.
“This is a problem that has to be dealt with,” said Miller. “I have talked with the commissioner and changes are on the way.”
Miller announced that she and the league had already reached agreement in several areas.
“From now on, an intern will screen all penis pics before passing them along to any cheerleader, groupie or member of the press with an onion booty.”
“Because of the effort it will take to insure the screening process is effective, players will be limited to three penis pic submissions per season, or four if they are members of the Player’s Union.”
Miller pushed for the changes after her iPhone was inundated with hundreds of players’ penis pics only moments after the NFL announced she would be the league’s new spokesperson.
Player reaction was mixed.
“I don’t think it’s a big deal,” said Washington Redskin quarterback Donovan McNabb . “From my understanding, if you pay for the processing fees after your first three submissions, you can still send as many penis pics as you need to during the season. So nothing really changes”
Not everybody agreed.
“I think it stinks,” said New York Jets coach Rex Ryan. “Have you seen the way reporters are dressing these days?”
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