Lance Berkman on Instant Replay: “We have the technology”
Lance Berkman wants instant replay. “We have the technology,” says the $85 million dollar man-puma.
Houston Chronicle columnist Jerome Solomon wants Berkman to be the next commissioner of MLB. He comically suggested the idea in today’s Chronicle while elucidating on Berkman’s “radical” approach to rules changes in baseball.
If only that were possible. Lance Berkman would make a fine commissioner. He is outspoken, independent minded and courageous. He is also fun and quirky. It is kind of troublesome that he allegedly didn’t know what a fielder’s choice was until 2003, but he can bone up on the issues later. And it goes without saying that he is clean on the steroids front. I defy anyone to provide a shred of evidence that the man has ever been within even 100 yards of a gym of any sort.
That said, Berkman is damn right that MLB should be using any and all existing technologies to insure the accuracy of the game. Do the “purists” from the “baseball should continue to embrace human error because mistakes are part of the history of the game” school of thought realize how stupid their argument is? Why should mistakes be considered sacred if they could just as easily be eliminated? It simply doesn’t wash.
Instant replay is such a no-brainer that even Bud Selig gets it now. Too bad for Armando Galarraga and all of baseball he didn’t see the light a long time ago.
Plans for a Perfect Future
People are still working hard to make this a feel good story. It is very nice that Jim Joyce is tearfully contrite and that Galarraga is so gallant and forgiving. But none of that would have to be lost if umpires were replaced by robots. If you thought a wronged pitcher’s emotional meeting at home plate with a fat old man was touching, imagine if that fat old man was replaced by Johnny 5 from Short Circuit. There wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house.
And that is why I am officially endorsing Lance Berkman as the next commissioner of Major League Baseball. Because robots are awesome. If he comes up with a suitable way to replace the players with robots too, all the better.
Amusing Retro Time Killer
El Debarge’s Who is Johnny:
The best part of this retro classic is that the cardboard cutout of Steve Guttenberg is the best actor in the whole production:
Follow us on twitter@thefastertimes