“Just because you’re buff, don’t play tuff/
Cause I’ll reverse the earth and turn your flesh back to dust.”
Wyclef Jean, Fu-Gee-La (Refuge Camp Remix, Sly and Robbie Remix)
Jose Canseco has been bumping his gums for the last few weeks, desperately trying to set up an MMA pay-day with former NFL-star Herschel Walker. Anybody with a modicum of brains already assumes that Walker is too classy to listen to Jose’s sad challenge. On top of that, we all know Walker would go all Vai Sikahema on his ass inside of 30 seconds.
But that is only people with a modicum of brains. As for Jose, he just won’t shut up about it. Check out this video the shirtless recovering ‘roid junkie shot with his “training team”, whom SportsChat will not mention because they don’t deserve the free publicity they are trying to milk out of this aging loser:
Hilariously, Jose did not stop there. He has been ranting and raving on his Twitter page about fighting Walker too.
In his most recent tweet, Canseco called out all the “haters” who are assuming that he is dipping into MMA just because he is broke and desperate for a pay day. SportsChat just can’t understand what would give anybody that impression.
Just because he cheated for nearly two decades as a major-leaguer, did not respect the game whatsoever despite the fact it made him a millionaire many times over and is now most famous for being a d-bag rat, why would anybody think that Jose isn’t a sincere martial artist? His message to the “haters”:
“I am a 45 yr old man trying to do what you haters dont have the balls 2 do. The media has done nothing but lie about me & made me a monster.”
First of all, Jose, it is ironic that you site your advanced age in a tweet that makes you sound like a 13 year-old boy locked in the bathroom with his iPhone, blaring Eminem and tweeting to the world about how his mommy is a big meanie for making him go to bed without any Deca-Durabolin because he didn’t finish his vegetables.
The media has not made you out to be a monster, Jose. The media is not portraying you as an idiot. You actually are an idiot, dude. It’s pretty simple. This is one that we totally got right, and you prove it a little more every day.
Bottom line, SportsChat is tired of hearing you running your mouth. Forget Hershcel Walker. You have as much chance of lasting one minute with him as you do of ever maintaining an erection again without chemical support, you over the hill, has-been junkie.
SportsChat has no fighting experience to speak of, and his greatest athletic achievement is scoring one point against Madison High School when he was on the Bellaire High freshman basketball team back in 1990. That said, SportsChat knows a coward when he sees one.
Have your people contact my people, Jose. You’ve already lost just about everything. What else can you lose by accepting the challenge of a scrawny 5’9” writer who only goes to the gym now and then so he can fit into his pants? Besides your teeth, of course.
Bring it on, chump.*
* After a night of reflection, SportsChat is pretty sure that most of his animosity against Canseco stems from his failure to procure one of his Donruss rookie cards back in ’86. SportsChat offered Goodens, Mattinglys and ’85 Topps Olympic McGwires but could never find a taker. Approximate value of all of those cards put together today = 45 cents.
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