NFL Spread Picks Week 14: Playoff Predictions

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We’ve reached the three-quarter mark in the NFL season, which means that I have to start contemplating a terrible reality where I have an irrefutable excuse for sit on my couch for 11 hours every Sunday drinking, gambling and yelling at people who can’t hear me. It also means that we’re in prime position to figure out who’s going to be playing in January. Let’s sort that out while making Week 14 picks.

AFC

1 Seed: Broncos, 14-2 (Winner: AFC West)

Pick This Week: BRONCOS (-11) over Titans

Sorry: I just can’t bet on Ryan Fitzpatrick keeping pace with Peyton Manning in Mile High. That’s just crazy.

With two wins against the Chiefs and a one-game lead, the Broncos winning the AFC West is a foregone conclusion. The Patriots, however, will force them to fight for homefield advantage through Week 17. Great news for everyone who wants to see Peyton Manning break a shit ton of records.

2 Seed: Patriots, 13-3 (Winner: AFC East)

Pick This Week: PATRIOTS (-10) over Broncos

Why, I would love to throw the Patriots and Broncos together in a 7-point teaser. Thank you!

3 Seed: Bengals, 10-6 (Winner: AFC North)

4 Seed: Colts, 9-7 (Winner: AFC South)

Pick This Week: Colts (+6.5) over BENGALS

The Colts keep this one close, but ultimately fall short in the battle to avoid the Chiefs in Round 1.

5 Seed: Chiefs, 12-4 (Wildcard)

Pick This Week: Chiefs (-3) over REDSKINS

I love the Chiefs over the Redskins more this week than life itself. I may just wager my entire Christmas vacation fund on it. I’m either going to end up staying in a 5-star hotel or sleeping in a box on the beach.

6 Seed: Ravens, 9-7 (Wild Card)

Picks This Week: RAVENS (-6) over Vikings, STEELERS (-3.5) over Dolphins, JETS (-3) over Raiders, Giants (+3.5) over CHARGERS

Right now, the Ravens, Dolphins (6-6) and Jets, Raiders, Steelers, Chargers, and Titans (5-7) all have a realistic shot at the last AFC Wildcard spot. First team to 9 wins gets it. I’m not entirely convinced that any of them will, but something tells me that the defending champs make it happen. You know betting against them in round 1 is going to be a little scary. They still may have some of that NY-Giants style “nobody believes in us” mojo stored up for one more run.

NFC

1 Seed: Seahawks, 13-3 (Winner: NFC West)

Pick This Week: Seahawks (+2.5) over 49ERS

Somehow, Russell Wilson still might be underrated. His supernatural ability to throw on the run, forged during his years as a shortstop, completely changes the game. After win this week against the 49ers, the Seahawks can pretty much shut it down until the playoffs.

2 Seed: Panthers, 12-4 (Winner: NFC South)

Pick This Week: Panthers (+3.5) over SAINTS

Fear the Riverboat Rons! Century Link wasn’t the only reason the Saints got their ass kicked on Sunday Night; the Panthers, built very similarly to the Seahawks, are tailor-made to beat the Saints. They’ll do it twice in the next 3 weeks.

3 Seed: Eagles, 11-5 (Winner: NFC East)

Picks This Week: EAGLES (-2.5) over Lions, BEARS (Pick) over Cowboys

For all the handwringing that the NFC East would have a 7-9 division winner—and that it might even end up being the Walking Dead Giants—the Eagles look poised to go on a tear and enter the post-season as the Seahawks biggest threat. (As a Giants fan, that felt terrible to write.)

The Cowboys, meanwhile, look poised for another collapse. (That’s better.)

4 Seed: Packers, 9-6-1 (Winner: NFC North)

Picks This Week: PACKERS (-3.5) over Falcons

The numbers say that the Packers only have a 5.7% chance of pulling this off. But they’ll survive the Falcons this week, pulling within a half game of the division lead, just in time for Aaron Rodgers’ return.

5 Seed: Saints 11-5 (Wildcard)

What’s the under/over point total for the Saints-Packers Wildcard game going to be? 80?

6 Seed: 49ers 11-5 (Wildcard)

Picks This Week: CARDINALS (-6) over Rams

On Monday morning, the 49ers are going to find themselves tied with the Cardinals for the last playoff spot. Gambling deliquents are going to be salivating at the thought of betting against Carson Palmer on the road in the first round. It’ll all come down to 49ers @ Cardinals in Week 17—flexed to Sunday Night football as an epic defacto play-in game. Chris Collinsworth may cry on TV for no clear reason.

AFC

1. Broncos

2. Patriots

3. Bengals

4. Colts

5. Chiefs

6. Ravens

NFC

1. Seahawks

2. Panthers

3. Eagles

4. Packers

5. Saints

6. 49ers

 

 

Joe Lazauskas
Editor of The Faster Times. Managing Editor at Contently. Twitter: @joelazauskas ...read more

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