For Your Pre-Valentine’s Day Consideration

You guys. There are only 13 days until Valentine’s Day, and that’s barely enough time for you to buy some SVU valentines and send them to me! Sorry, I got a little excited there, but rightfully so. Check out these valentines from Brandon Bird-they combine two of my favorite things: puns and marathon television watching. The picture below also links to his site, because I really think you need to go there and buy these for me:

For Your Pre-Valentine's Day Consideration

I was able to know exactly how many days there are until Valentine’s Day, by the way, because Frederick’s of Hollywood has been kind enough to provide a Valentine’s Day countdown that ticks away the seconds you have left to buy their lingerie. They also have tips from “David,” a “man’s man, [who's] up to his eyeballs in thongs, G-strings and hot models every day, and he knows what girls want.” He suggests on Valentine’s Day, you can surprise your girl by taking her to a Frederick’s and letting her pick out “whatever she wants.” Huh.

I think David may have gotten a little distracted by all the hot models, because the whole point of lingerie is that it’s something the dude loves seeing you in-and yes, gentlemen, I know, you’d like to see us in pretty much anything that involves partial nudity, but the idea is that you’re seeing the movie regardless-why not splurge on a large popcorn? Or junior mints? Or whatever would enhance your viewing experience! I can’t look at my own boobs during sex without getting a double chin-this view’s all for you, baby.

Also while we’re talking about lingerie things that don’t make any sense, can someone please explain to me why this is hot:

For Your Pre-Valentine's Day Consideration

Specifically, the thingy that attaches the top to the bottom. Doesn’t that just make it harder to get the whole contraption off? Is it supposed to be like a garter strap over your tummy? Oh God, that would imply that your stomach is shaped like an ass.

I’m sorry, I should stop bitching-both Frederick’s and have some deliciously trashy lingerie that I wouldn’t mind frolicking around my apartment in (sorry, roommate!). I’m just pouting because I don’t see any SVU valentine’s in my mailbox yet. PEOPLE, you only have 13 days, 16 hours, 8 minutes, and 12 seconds to get them to me!

Meghan Pleticha is the only hit when you Google her name.  Originally from California, she now lives in Brooklyn where she enjoys trivia nights, reality television, and her share of sex and dating.  F more


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