I am scared of herpes. I am an idiot. I probably have herpes. You probably have it too. Most people have herpes. And yes, cold sores (or “fever blisters”) count. Susie Bright recently made another post on her blog about herpes (guess what! She has it!) reminding us herpes is the most common STD (more common than all other STDs combined) and after the common cold, herpes is the most common virus in the human race. So should we panic in the streets?
That won’t be necessary. The point is that if herpes is so damn common, maybe we should stop thinking of those carrying the virus as some sexual demon or leper. As Bright points out, most people get this virus as a child via affection from a relative or sharing a soda or whatever-then it travels down south as they get older and start having genital contact. Herpes is herpes, regardless if it’s on your mouth or your what-nots. Tons of people may have (and transmit) it and not even know.
The idea that herpes is something you have to “fess up” to is both idealistic and unfair. Because the majority of the population has the virus, the assumption should be that your partner has it (not that they probably don’t because they haven’t said anything). And if you do have the virus, your responsibility lies not with telling your partner you’re sexually diseased, but with making sure you: use condoms, take antivirals if necessary, and stop boning when you’re immune system is compromised (you know, like when you’ve got the flu?).
Because you can carry the virus without knowing, there’s no harm in getting tested (herpes, contrary to popular belief and my previous statement, is not simply an STD-it can happen anywhere on the body, and it’s a very similar virus to the Chicken Pox or Shingles). It’s not that you’re sexually diseased. It’s that you’re diseased, full stop. Of course, just like when you have a cold (which can also be transmitted through sexual contact), it’s nice to let your partner know.
I’m still scared of herpes. It sounds horrible, what with the sores and the body aches. Did you know, statistically, you already have it and just don’t know? Did you know if it does show up, outbreaks can happen when you’re stressed or when you get your period each month? These are things that scare me. But the thing is, there are drugs out there that make herpes extremely manageable (a note from Bright: don’t fall for the false snake oil herpes cure). Despite its bad press, it’s not something to be ashamed of. Our world is disgusting, you could get sick at any moment. Just wash your hands so you don’t get swine flu, use a condom so you don’t get AIDS, and chill. I say this as much to me as to you.
Photo by HA! Designs – Artbyheather.
Meghan Pleticha
Meghan Pleticha is the only hit when you Google her name. Originally from California, she now lives in Brooklyn where she enjoys trivia nights, reality television, and her share of sex and dating. For a good time, you ...
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stdslove says:
Too bad!!! STD cases on the rise!
A friend of mine who works for the largest STD dating == Positivefish. com == told me that the new subscribers have increased 30% over 2008. Rising STD rate sparks online dating sites.
Branwyn Lancourt says:
That whole thing about having it but not knowing it always puzzled me.. If a tree falls in a forest and there's no one there to witness it does it fall? Not to mention the fact that you can't test for herpes unless you have a sore to test... There is some blood test, but most doctor's don't do it as it's inconclusive a lot of the time.. The best thing to do is just use protection and be careful... I was raised in the 80s during the height of the AIDS scare, so I've always been paranoid about disease, which is why I always use protection and wash myself afterwards with soap and hot water, but don't use me as an example...i'm a neurotic.
Beth says:
You're wrong, Branwyn. There is an IGG blood test that is pretty accurate. Most doctors won't do it, because they don't like telling patients they have herpes. The HerpeSelect IGG test is pretty accurate for hsv-1 (some false negatives) and very accurate for hsv-2.
Condoms have been shown to prevent herpes transmission only 30% of the time. Just because you always use condoms doesn't mean you haven't caught herpes. And hsv-1 can be caught either orally or genitally.
Branwyn Lancourt says:
I've never heard the rationale that Doctors don't test, because they don't like telling their patients of an unpleasant outcome. That makes no sense whatsoever. Although you may be right. Everytime I've gotten tested for STDS and ask about a test, they always ask 'have you ever had any outbreaks or sores' and when I say no, then their reply everytime has been, 'then don't worry about it'
Rogue Epidemiologist says:
I'm gonna nitpick a little. Herpes (HSV) is NOT the most common STI out there. HPV is. HSV-1 is prevalent in about 60% of the population while HSV-2 is prevalent in about 20% of the population, and those figures overlap -- many people have both. Contrast this with HPV (the viruses that cause cervical/penile/anal cancers and genital warts), which is prevalent in about 75% of the population.
Now about HerpeSelect testing... I've had it done. I'm seronegative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2. It's expensive (about $200) and some insurance carriers don't cover it unless it's for a prenatal screen. I am lucky to have decent health benefits. I like knowing my status.
Why would a doctor not want to test you for this? Because if you are asymptomatic, unlikely to be contagious, carrying an UNCURABLE infection that a whole lotta people have, then chances are the amount of good that could come from knowing your HSV status would be outweighed by the distress you would experience.
If you want the test, ask for it. But be prepared to pay out of pocket. In my opinion, it is worth the money. And everyone should be using condoms all the time anyway (unless you are TTC).
pariuri says:
Certain dietary adjustments, dietary supplements, and alternative remedies are claimed to be beneficial in the treatment of herpes, either alone, or in conjunction with prescribed antiviral therapy. There is insufficient scientific and clinical evidence to support the effective use of many of these compounds to treat herpes in humans.
Pariuri Sportive says:
i think it is so important to inform the peoples about the safer sex practices to prevent same problems. This is one of the best posts that I’ve ever seen in this subject; I’m still waiting for some interesting thoughts from your side in your next post.
poker says:
i appreciate your sincerely, thanks for sharing her story, it is horrible...