Self Defense
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“Get it On With Holsters On!” And Other Methods for Making Love in Public

Sergeant Kermit |
10.27.2011
Is there a safe way to have sex in public? What about dealing with the people who might get mad about it and attack me? -Horny Hermione Hermione! You old witch, you. Pleas... ...read more
Fantastic-Little...-Serial-Killer

How to Handle Bullies: a Guide for 10-Year-Olds

Sergeant Kermit |
10.17.2011
Sergeant Kermit, I have a 10-year-old son that has always went to a very small and very safe Christian school. He’s big for his age but completely passive and tenderheart... ...read more
kramer_gravity_hammer

The Bat Knife: A Creative Solution for Burglars

Sergeant Kermit |
10.10.2011
We all fear intruders in our home. But also, the idea of keeping a weapon around can be daunting. If you own a knife or bat, where’s the best place to keep it for your sa... ...read more

What to do About Hungry Cougars

Sergeant Kermit |
09.27.2011
As a young, tiny man, how do I protect myself from a pack of rabid cougars (ie, older women) molesting me at a concert? Keep in mind that I’m on acid. (this happens a lot)... ...read more

What About Standing Up For What’s Right?

Sergeant Kermit |
08.30.2011
What should I do if I’m the only one around and I see someone else being threatened or attacked? Obviously call the police, but that move could put me in danger as well. W... ...read more
angry-hobo

What to Do When You’re Scared and Alone and it’s Dark Out AND A STRANGER ASKS FOR SOMETHING

Sergeant Kermit |
08.15.2011
If someone scary and/or uneasy looking asks for something somewhat miniscule as a cigarette or a couple of dollars when it’s late out and you’re alone, should you ap... ...read more

Ask Kermit—An Angry Guy’s Guide to Self-Defense: How to Stab Someone While You’re Running

Sergeant Kermit |
08.08.2011
Hi Kermit. I’d like to know more about the legality of carrying a switchblade or similar on my person for night jogs in Carbondale…I wouldn’t have a problem stabbing some... ...read more

Ask Kermit—An Angry Guy’s Guide to Self Defense: Teeth Cleaning and other Travels

Sergeant Kermit |
08.01.2011
Hi Kermit, I made an appointment with this dentist and only checked out his website afterward. Nothing happened but it made me wonder about things like what I should do if a de... ...read more
triple-threat-300x205

Ask Kermit—An Angry Guy’s Guide to Self-Defense: Snakes, Hogs, and Meth Heads

Sergeant Kermit |
07.28.2011
Here are some things I’m afraid of: copperheads, wild boars, and meth heads. How might I protect myself if everything goes to shit and one of these comes at me? Sincerely, Dow... ...read more
Twirling-Hair-300x207

Ask Kermit—An Angry Guy’s Guide to Self-Defense: Hairdos and Safety

Sergeant Kermit |
07.27.2011
Sergeant Kermit is a Deputy Sheriff and firearms instructor in southwestern Virginia. His column offers weekly advice to nice people who want to protect themselves from predat... ...read more


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