1 large artisnal loaf bread, cubed (12-14 cups of cubed bread)

1 tablespoon butter

1 tablespoon evoo

2 leeks, white and light green part only, washed and sliced into 1/2 moons

1 fat garlic clove, minced or pressed

1 bunch Swiss chard, stems removed, leaves chopped

3 cups half and half or milk

8 large free range eggs (because it’s nicer)

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon white pepper

2 cups shredded Gruyere cheese

2 pats butter

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1) Pre-heat oven to 350F. Place the cubed bread on 2 dry, ungreased baking pans and bake for about 15-20 minutes, until lightly toasted, but not colored. Remove from the oven and allow to cool. Keep the oven on if you plan on baking the pudding immediately.

2) Sauté the leeks and garlic over medium-high heat in the 1 tablespoon butter and evoo. Cook until soft– about 5 minutes– then add in the chard, stir, cover and reduce heat to medium. Allow to steam-cook until the chard is limp, but still deep green, stirring occasionally.

3) Whisk the half and half or milk together with the eggs, salt and pepper. Place the tasted bread cubes into a very large bowl and pour the creamy-egg mixture over top. Toss well to coat all the bread then add in the leeks/Swiss chard and toss again. Now add in the Gruyere, tossing one more time. The pudding can be held like this for up to 8 hours.

4) Smear a large baking dish with the last 2 pats of butter and pile the bread/egg/chard/cheese mess into it. Scatter the Parmesan cheese across, cover and bake 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, remove the cover and continue to bake for 15 minutes longer, to brown up.

Serve at once. Makes 12-14 servings (awesome left-overs), but the recipe can easily be halved.

Whether or not you like fish sauce, it is integral to this dish and no one, (not even my friend Emma who acts like a feisty toddler in her non-fish-sauce food demands) can detect it. It just makes the salad gooooooood.

1 large green papaya (found in Asian markets)

1/4  cup fish sauce

1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed

1/4 cup lime juice

1-2 Thai (birds eye) chili, trimmed and minced (depending on the heat that you like)

1 fat clove garlic, minced or pressed

1 bunch green onions, sliced up until the dark green part

1 large ripe tomato, chopped

1 medium carrot, shredded

Handful of chopped peanuts

1) Peel the papaya with a vegetable peeler. Cut it in half lengthwise and scoop out the alien looking bits within. In some fashion, slice into match stick size slices. If this is too daunting, simply grate in a box grater (although this will not look quite as nice in the end). Place into a large bowl.

2) Mix the dressing (fish sauce down to green onion) in a bowl. Set aside. Mix everything else in with the papaya. Toss then pour over the dressings. Toss well. Stash in the fridge until ready to serve– no more than 6 hours. Serve and watch it disappear.

Serves 8-10 as a side dish

Umami is recognized as the ‘fifth taste’; sweet, sour, salty, bitter and umami. Just as it is difficult to describe bitter or sour, umami is not easily explained, but here goes… Umami is a depth of flavor, it is savoriness (but not necessarily salty), it makes flavors more flavorful– like a flavor bomb.

Chemically speaking, umami is a glutamate. It occurs naturally in certain foods, and is found often in Asian and Italian cuisines. Some foods rich in umami are: Cured meats (Hello? Bacon!), beef, mushrooms (shiitake, porcini), ripe tomatoes (and sundried tomatoes), kombu (a Japanese sea algae that is SUPER high in umami), and most notably, aged or fermented foods, like Parmesan, shrimp paste, soy sauce and fish sauce.

This explains why some of our most beloved foods came to be so popular: Pizza? Forget about it– loaded with umami. Bacon-mushroom-cheeseburgers? Oh, sing it sister! Tapenade? I got your tapenade right ‘ere! There is a synergy between the ingredients of these favored dishes. A hamburger is good, but stack a burger with sautéed mushrooms and salty bacon, and it’s mind-blowing.

So, here’s my recipe for an Umami Burger Bomb. This burger is the sum of its parts. It tastes nothing like the umami ass-kicking additives that I combine with the beef, no one will detect that you’ve added fish sauce to their burger, all they will know if that it is the best burger they have ever had. Ever.

Umami Burger Bomb

2 and 1/2 pounds ground beef (I used equal parts chuck, sirloin and brisket)

2 tablespoons fish sauce (don’t think, just do it)

1/4 oz dried porcini mushrooms, pulverized to a powder in a clean coffee grinder

1) Mix all ingredients together. Try not to over-mix or the burger will become meatloaf consistency, which isn’t bad, not just not optimal.

2) Cover and rest in the fridge for at least 1 hour, but up to 24 hours.

3) Shape into burgers and cook any way you like. I prefer the caramelization that occurs when cooking indoors on a griddle. Serve on a good quality bun (toasted is a nice touch).

For an even bigger explosion of umami, top with Parmesan and oven roasted tomatoes.

Makes six, 6 and 1/2 ounce burgers

Our drive was an exercise in my father’s ingenuity and dashed hopes of one day (ONE DAY!) being an inventor, just like Thomas Jefferson. He fashioned bunk beds out of plywood, in the way back of the station wagon. Bunk beds just wide enough and claustrophobically deep enough to hold my three older sisters and my brother. The back seat was piled with luggage, leaving space for me to curl into a fetal position and snuggle down on the floor behind my father’s seat, the thud-thud-thud of the tires as we rolled south over highways, easily lulling me to sleep. We were packed in and transported back centuries, in the airless, non-airconditioned car, like a small school of anchovies in an oily, Spanish can.

We’d arrive in Colonial Williamsburg, groggy and sweaty with stinky morning breath, park the car at the hotel and, because it was too early to check in, my mother gave us each a small, foil-lined Wet-Wipe pouch to wash our faces, and a tick-tac to cleanse our tongues. Buying our tickets, the children of our family were set free to explore and terrorize the more civilized, history buffs in Williamsburg. We’ve got a picture of my brother every year from the age of 10-16 standing under the same ancient tree, in front of the Governor’s Palace, grimacing as he gives the camera the finger.

Because this was the very early ’70s and there hadn’t been a kidnapping since the Lindbergh baby in 1932, and there was no such thing as pedophiles (at least no one mentioned it), from a very young age, like 6, I was usually left to my own divices, as well. Attempting to trail my much older siblings, I was quickly and judiciously left in the dust of Duke of Gloucester Street and had to find ways to entertain myself. I loved this freedom. I’d hit the wig maker first, stopping in Tarpley’s Store to get a piece of licorice root (which tasted horrible, but I had to have it), making my way to the blacksmith (even at such a young age, I recognized that blacksmiths were usually quite the dandies), touring the Magazine, ending up in the Governor’s Palace and finally, the giant, boxwood maze.

My family meet up for a late lunch at one of the taverns. If I was lucky, and the meeting point was King’s Arms, without fail, I’d order a bowl of peanut soup with sippets washed down with two sparkling ciders.

But my love of all foods smoked didn’t begin with eating smoky, old foods. In fact, I don’t recall the restaurants in Williamsburg serving lots of smoked foods. No, it was the pervasive smell of smoke that wafted through the historic streets, year round, that impacted my palate’s memory so. The scent primal, and comforting all at once.

35 years later, I am still lured by the smell of slowly smoking foods; smoked meat, smoked fish, smoked cheese, smoked tofu– smoked salt for crissake– if it’s smells and tastes smoky I am going to digest it.

At Earth Fare last week I found smoked mozzarella on sale. $2.99 a ball. Crazy cheap. I’ve managed to work the cheese in to at least one meal per day over the past seven days. This specific recipe is a good one to prepare ahead of time and just pop it in the oven 30 or 45 minutes before dinner. I encourage you to trick it out, make the recipe yours with personal favorites. Just don’t lose the smoked cheese.

2 pounds small, red skin potatoes, quartered

1-2 tablespoons olive oil

1 red bell pepper, seeded and roughly chopped

1 medium onion, peeled and roughly chopped

2 cloves garlic, peeled, roughly chopped

4 baby eggplants, peeled, roughly chopped

1 large tomato, squeezed of excess seeds and roughly chopped

1 can artichoke hearts, drained, roughly chopped (optional)

1 ball smoked mozzarella, sliced

1) Boil the potatoes in salted water until a sharp knife easily slides through a chunk. This should take about 10 minutes of boiling; try not to over-cook. Meanwhile, sauté all the rest of the vegetables in a pan with olive oil until soft. Season with salt.

2) Pile the potatoes in a casserole dish, then spoon the cooked vegetables over top. Last, lay the slices of cheese over top. Bake immediately, or cover and chill in the fridge for up to a day.

3) When ready to eat: Preheat the oven to 375F. Bake covered for 20 minutes, then remove the cover and continue baking until the cheese gets golden. Serve at once.

Serves 6 side dishes

My friend Aimee told me about a recipe she makes that her vegetarian children love. It is similar to this one, but she used veg beef crumbles in it. I used beans instead, but am betting that the fake hamburger would have been delish, too.

You can make this up in the morning (sans crumby topping), stash in the fridge, then pile the Parm/crumbs on just before baking in the evening.

8 ounces pasta (like penne or bowties)

4 oz sharp Provolone, shredded

1 cup (1 small container) reduced fat sour cream

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon sea salt

1/2 package frozen, chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed really well

1 can cannellini beans, drained

1 egg

1 15 oz can (or homemade) good pizza sauce  (I like Dom Pepinos)

Crumby topping:

3/4 cup Parmesan

1 cup Ritz cracker crumbs (about 15 crackers, squished)

1) Cook the pasta according to package directions, minus 1 minute.

2) While the pasta is cooking, mix together the provolone, sour cream, garlic powder, salt, spinach and beans. Taste, adjust seasoning, then add the egg and stir well to combine.

3) Pre-heat the oven to 350F. Drain the pasta, and rinse with cold water until the pasta is cool (FYI: this stops the pasta cooking, and will lessen the amount of sour cream sauce the pasta absorbs– thus keeping the baked pasta from drying out). Drain pasta again well and mix with the sour cream sauce. Pile into a casserole dish that has been sprayed with non-stick spray or ribbed with a bit of oil. Pour the pizza sauce over top. Mix the Parmesan with the crackers and evenly distribute over top the pasta.

4) Bake 30-45 minutes, until the top is golden and the sides are bubbly.

Serves 4-6

More Faster Recipes:

Recipe: Truly Southern Fried Chicken
Peanut Butter: It’s not just for breakfast anymore
Velveeta: An Homage

10 slices artisanal bread, cut in half all pretty like

2 fat cloves garlic, halved

1 tablespoon butter

12 oz cremini or shiitake mushroom caps, sliced

1 dried fig, finely chopped (optional, not a deal-breaker, but adds a nice sweetness)

1 cup crumbled gorgonzola

1 soup spoon each: Sour cream, mayo, cream cheese

1 green onions, sliced thin

A couple dashes of cayenne (optional)

1) Toast the breads in a toaster, until crunchy around the edges, but not overly so in the middle. As they pop from the toaster, rub each toast with garlic clove half. This step should be done within hours of serving, not days ahead.

2) While that’s occurring, sauté the mushrooms in the butter until they have released their liquid and it is mostly evaporated. Chop the fig. Mash the gorgonzola together with sour cream, mayo and cream cheese until combined. When the mushrooms are cooked and soft, remove from heat and add in the figs, gorgonzola mixture, green onions and cayenne. The residual heat from the pan and mushrooms will melt the cheese mixture– stir to mix. Set aside in the fridge to firm up a bit from 30 minutes to three days.

3) When ready to serve, preheat the broiler. Smear each bruschetta (toast) with mushroom/cheese mixture, broil 6 inches from heat source until the mushroom/cheese has melted, going gooey and golden in areas. Serve at once.

In keeping with the Middle Eastern Palooza going on in the world during the past half year, I thought it appropriate to cook with some flavors from that region.

1 cup plain yogurt
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
4 fat cloves garlic, minced
Juice of 1 lemon
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon saffron threads, soaked in 2 tablespoons hot water for 10 minutes
1/2 teaspoon roasted coriander powder
1 whole chicken cut up, OR 6 bone-in breasts, OR 10 boneless, skinless breasts

Mix marinade ingredients together then, submerge the chicken in it. Refrigerate and marinade for 1-3 hours. Grill until cooked through and slightly charred.

But now, I am trying to figure out other uses for the spread. Along side crisp wonton chips would be good, but what else? Any ideas? Please share!

10 oz bag frozen edamame (soy beans), cooked in salted water according to package directions

1 small knob fresh ginger root, peeled and roughy chopped

3 tablespoons cooking water

1 tablespoon soy sauce

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil

1 teaspoon wasabi paste

1 and 1/2 teaspoons lime juice

Simmer the frozen edamame in salted water. Drain, saving 3 tablespoons cooking water. Purée everything together until smooth. It won’t be creamy, rather, more like hummus. Keeps for 5 days covered in the fridge.

Makes a little over one cup spread.

I love the ritual, the process of smoking meat. Tending the fire, soaking and distributing the wood chips, salting the meat; it all hits me in a visceral manner. I am sure I have lived another life doing it. A doscent in Colonial Williamsburg in the ’60s perhaps…

The smell of the smoke is intoxicating. The way the fat and sinew of the pork goes all sticky after hours on the grill makes me weak in the knees. Snapping that first bit of crispy, sticky, deep brown fat from the roast, when it is finally done- that first rich, salty, smoky taste that invades my mouth, sending my taste-buds stratospheric.

Coleslaw is the perfect, unobtrusive foil to the scene-stealing ‘barbecue’. I learned, very soon after our arrival in the south, that down here, barbecue is a noun, not a verb. Coleslaw’s slight sourness enhances barbecue’s rich nature. Its sweetness balancing BBQ’s saltiness.

A pile of shredded barbecue on a soft, white, potato roll with a scoop of sweet and sour slaw on top is as close to the perfect sandwich as I know.

I never eat barbecue in a restaurant, though; the process of transforming a raw, pink hunk of pork into a majestic, mahogany, smoked pork butt is too good to allow someone else the pleasure of doing.

This is not a soupy slaw. The cabbage is simply dressed in the mayo mixture, not swimming in it.

1 small head Savoy cabbage

3 medium carrots

1 bunch green onions

Dressing

1/3 cup cider vinegar

2 tablespoons table sugar

Large pinch salt

1 teaspoon Ume plum vinegar (don’t worry if you don’t have it)

2/3 cup plain yogurt (full fat or non-fat, makes no nevermind)

2/3 cup Duke’s or Hellmann’s mayo (full fat)

1″ knob fresh ginger, peeled finely minced

Shred all the vegetables, preferably in a food processor, or by hand. Mix up the dressing: Swirl the sugar and salt into the vinegar to dissolve, then add in everything else. Whisk until smooth. Dress the vegetables, toss well and stash in the fridge for at least an hour so that the flavors can develop.

Makes 12-16 servings

Doing my monthly, local television gig tomorrow. No, I will not post the video, because I am chubby. I think that excuse can be legitimately used on many occasions, but it is exceptionally appropriate in this case. I was chubby a month ago, then I went to France and ate Camembert cheese, literally twice each day– NO EXAGGERATION. I won’t look into mirrors since returning a few days ago.

The funny thing is that I really like doing the tv shots. I feel strangely relaxed and comfortable in the studio; it’s not until I get home and watch the segment on my computer that I feel nauseated. ‘Who’s that fat lady?’ I wonder.

They say a camera adds 20 pounds, and there are four cameras pointed on me in the studio…

In any event, I will be making Fattoush– a fabulous Lebanese salad made of toasted pita bread and lots of ripe, summer vegetables and herbs. It is delicious and healthy and low in fat, if you don’t eat 7 servings.

Fattoush

2 cups bite-size toasted pita bread pieces

1/2 head romaine lettuce, shredded

1 large, ripe tomato, chopped

1 English cucumber, chopped into small dice

1 red bell pepper, diced

1/2 cup chopped, fresh parsley

1/4 cup chopped, fresh mint

1 bunch green onions, sliced thin

½ to 1 teaspoon ground Sumac, a spice found in Middle Eastern grocery stores

Dressing

1/4 cup lemon juice

1/2 cup olive oil

1 clove garlic, pressed or minced

Salt and pepper to taste

Tear up pita bread and toast on a baking sheet in the oven set at 375, until just turning golden around the edges. Set aside to cool as you chop and prepare the rest of the salad.

Toss all of the vegetables and sumac together. Whisk the dressing together. Just before serving, toss in the toasted pita bread pieces, dress the salad (you may or may not use all of the dressing). Toss again and serve immediately.