@Horse_ebooks is a Twitter bot designed to promote a Russian site that sells ebooks about horse betting by spitting random messages (usually about horses) and links.   The charm is its absurd, random half-finished sentences seemingly spoken by adorable galloping horse avatar.   It has a loyal fan following and even tribute accounts.  It’s a bona fide internet sensation, but not a particularly successful marketing technique.

Here are the top 10 @Horse_ebooks tweets. Tell me if you still can find any reason for following a real human ever again:

So when I stumbled across a set of photos from what appeared to be a punk squat in Anchorage in the 80s, obviously I was intrigued.  This was not at all the Alaska I imagined.  I contacted the photographer, Gregory Granquist and got him to tell me a little bit more about his experience living there.

Fans at a DOA show on a tank

The “Werehaus”, as it was called, started as a hippie commune in the late 60′s inside a defunct candy warehouse.   Gregory moved in the mid-80′s, and used his experience as a college radio DJ to organize a series of punk shows.   The Werehaus became the epicenter of the Anchorage punk scene, which was small but thriving.

As you might imagine, Alaska isn’t a frequent tour stop for bands doing shoestring budget tours, so getting legendary punk band DOA to come there was a big deal (check out photos of the band drinking inside their van).

What I love about these photos is that the kids look like they are having the most fun day of their lives in every picture.  They’re living the ultimate young person dream: living in a house with all your friends, no parents (or mama grizzlies), graffiti on the walls, drinking beers, and listening to loud music.

Slideshow below:

Practicing bass

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All photos by Gregory Granquist.

Additional photos:  Werehaus on Flickr

Additional reading:  “The Decline of Northern Civilization, Part 1“, Originally published in the Anchorage Press, Vol. 9, Ed. 42, October 19-25, 2000

Additional viewing: Alaska punk band Clyng Onz performing at the Werehaus Halloween party, 1984

Speaking of suffering, I don’t want to sound like anyone’s mother, but some people just never understand how to appropriately dress for inclimate weather.  Le sigh.

All photos from Flickr.

What the discussion has failed to bring up is how totally cool it makes you.  Do you know what’s awesome and cool? Being 22 and getting really fucked up.  It makes you look really cool.  It makes other people think you’re good looking.  It makes you  like really cool bands and make really cool new friends and do stuff you normally wouldn’t do but isn’t really all that bad anyway.

Click through the slideshow below of people having the time of their 20 year old lives, and try to tell me Four Loko isn’t really really fucking cool.

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Dog costumes are so good it’s not even worth discussing how ridiculously cute they look.  Here’s a bunch of costumes for pets other than dogs:

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Life just got harder on today’s suburban-raised, dad-hating, sexuality-questioning teens.  I just discovered by chance that one year ago today, a bill was signed by Obama and passed into law banning teen-friendly flavored cigarettes.  Which is good, because only people who have regularly sexually fantasized about Justin Beiber would be caught dead smoking a pineapple-flavored cigarette.

But the ban also extended to clove cigarettes, which seems to overlook the fact that cloves are for an entirely different type of customer.   In fact, Obama has made a grave mistake by alienating a constituency that may be his most loyal voter demographic: college freshman girls who write bad poetry  and are considering a tattoo in a foreign language.

Which just so happens to be the #1 clove-smoking demographic.

And so, in memory of the beloved foul-smelling stick of a tortured Tori Amos fan in an Intro to Photography class, here is a gallery of angsty artsy girls doing what they do best: deep introspection while smoking cloves.

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Trapper-Keeper featuring Rabbits.  Rabbits are the new owls, people!

Speaking of rabbits, what better way to strut your stuff in the cafeteria than with this Lisa Frank soft lunchbox featuring bunny ballerinas?  You’ll be the envy of the whole football team!

Or maybe you’re like me, and are so nervous going to first day of school that you secretly bring your favorite stuffed animal with you.  Now you can masquerade your social phobias and age-inappropriate love of stuffed animals by using the lunchbox as a pretext for toting around this Alf plush!  This one’s “fur” you, young future furries and plushies!

Attention grad students:  your tweed blazer with leather elbow patches isn’t going to impress the Freshmen Writing Basics class you’re proctoring.  THIS is the pencil case you need to get their respect:

And of course, the must-have item this fall is a set of vintage nudie-pens (see a full demonstration in the photos on the eBay page):

Hand-made, one-of-a-kind Lady Gaga notebook? Yup.

Perhaps you want to knit your own back-to-school themed vest, and need a pattern?

And if it all doesn’t work out (school sux, remember), you can just go ahead and buy our own diploma on eBay.  Here’s one that certifies you as a graduate of the 1950 America Pigeon Racing Association, Pennsylvania chapter.

Happy bidding!

Have you heard the news? Beavis and Butthead are returning to MTV with new episodes.  Beavis and Butthead first came out when I was at the exact age that everyone in school, all day long, did impressions of them.

The scary thing is that those 12 year olds in 1995 who were doing Beavis impressions now have small children of their own, and just like sticking a firecracker in a cat’s butt, they have passed down their finest traditions.

Here are videos of babies and small children doing impressions of Beavis’s caffeine-induced alter-ego, Cornholio:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI

As I watched it over and over again (it gets better and better), I couldn’t help a nagging feeling of jealousy creeping up inside me: have I ever seen something so beautiful that it made me cry? Can I not truly enjoy the awe-inspiring simplicity of nature? Have I not lived as full a life as a this man who weeps at a  double rainbow?

Then I realized: no way, brah! I’ve seen a million things that are way better than a double rainbow, not in a national park, pooping in a hole like a chump, but in a magical forest called the internet. Here are my top things 10 better-than-a-double-rainbows:

10: A painting a people noodling for catfish:

9. An obese pet raccoon

8. “Thumbhead”

7. Cat jumping out at a baby set to “Carmina Buruna”:

6. Chimp raping a frog orally:

5. The fact that someone invented sock-flops (available from Zappos.com):

4. The radiant positivity of a crossdresser:

3. This:

2. The fact that this can be yours for only $455 on eBay:

1. Nate Robinson dunking over Spudd Webb in the NBA Slam Dunk Contest

This weekend, the world’s largest classic car show takes place in the Västerås, Sweden, and classic car collectors flock from around the world.  For the weekend, the small city of Västerås gets overrun with drunken packs of a very specific Swedish subculture called raggares, riding through the streets in a parade ’57 Chevys and Ford Mustangs.

“Raggare” is a delightful mix of the style of a’50s greaser, the corpulence and bad hygiene of a biker, the love of the Confederate flag of a southern redneck, and the enthusiasm for drinking of a British soccer hooligan. Basically, every stereotype about poor white trash spanning both time and globe, rolled into one.

Photos of Swedish raggares in action and/or passed out drunk below.  Remember: these photos are all in Sweden – you know, where your Billy bookshelf is from.

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Photo by Christer Ehrling.