Dear Tyrese: A Stalker Does Not a Good Co-Parent Make

This morning, Negro Twitter was abuzz with commentary on model-actor-R&B singer Tyrese late-night tweets about sitting in his car outside of his ex’s house. Why? According to Tyrese, via Twitter:

“I tell you guys all the time.. It’s ONLY the kids that suffer in the end when parents drag their innocent kids into ADULT STUFF..”

“It’s reality.. Sometimes relationships don’t work.. Be grown, move on, and become responsible adults ..”

“I’m parked outside of my baby momma spot to MAKE SURE I get to spend time w/my child for X-Mas. Done w/games…”

Now, if you’re not familiar with Tyrese Gibson, perhaps this Coca-Cola commercial will jog your memory. This triple-”threat” (quadruple if you count the stalking) is aiming to become a quadruple (quintuple) “threat” with the release of a self-help book, How to Get Out of Your Own Way, in 2011. But if Tyrese’s trite and grammatically incorrect tweets are any sign of the book to come, praise be to his ghostwriter. But I digress…

Not surprisingly, the “parked outside of my baby momma spot” tweet and others like it had mysteriously disappeared by the time those of us who sleep through the night in our beds and not our cars were up and reading Twitter. But one self-help lesson Tyrese could use is this: Twitter is forever. Thanks to The Fabulous Ms. @SteenFox, screenshots of Tyrese’s how-not-to-co-parent tweets will live forever.

Predictably, there were tweets that balked at Tyrese’s antics, especially in light of his forthcoming book and typically self-righteous tweets. But he was not without supporters for his efforts. Some wished him well, hoping his child’s mother would allow him to see their child. And I get that; it’s important for children to spend holidays with their parents. However, when parents share custody, unless they both plan to spend the holidays with their child, together, somebody isn’t going to be with the child for all or part of each holiday. Does Tyrese and his ex’s shared parenting agreement state that his daughter is supposed to be with him this Christmas? Some co-parents alternate years; others split the day. As @SteenFox and others have pointed out, Tyrese certainly has the resources to pursue legal action where his parenting time is concerned. But what if he’s done that already, and his ex is violating the order’s parameters re: Christmas? Stalking still isn’t the answer.

Is stalking ever the answer?

Exactly what was he planning to do when/if the child stepped outside of the house? Take her against her mother’s wishes? A parental tug of war over the child, verbally or physically? Classy. And even if it didn’t come to that, hanging around outside someone’s home can help that someone build a case against you for harassment. Instead of How To Get Out Of Your Own Way, would Tyrese’s book be more aptly titled, How to Post Bail on Christmas Day and Risk Losing the Parenting Time You Do Have?

Look, my sympathies and support are with Tyrese or any parent who is denied their rightful parenting time, especially during the holidays. However, two wrongs don’t make a right, and his sitting outside his ex’s house overnight had the potential for so much wrong.

According to Tyrese, however, his vigilance paid off. While I was writing this post, he tweeted:

I got my daughter…. Yes!

I hope for the sake of all involved, but especially his daughter, that whatever transpired leading to this turn of events was in keeping with this season of peace.

Comments