And Happy Holidays to You Too, PTA

December 19^th was our last day of school. I brought my children home still delirious from Holiday classroom parties and candy-cane overdosage. Three weeks of idyllic winter holidays lay before us filled with beautiful California weather and making lunch at lunchtime and not at the crack of dawn. Ah.

On our return, a parcel was waiting for me from the PTA. At that time of year I receive nice things from the people I have worked for, you know Harry and David pears and branded premiums. The PTA was not so personal. It was a pile of coupons to be distributed to parents to use at Jamba Juice (a local smoothie chain) and our PTA unit would receive credit for all purchases. The thing is, I received this parcel after school ended and the program ran until January 4^th, 2010 whereas school did not resume until the 11^th. The other gift I get from my various employers is a letter that says a donation has been given in my name (I like those by the way, if you’re wondering, particularly My Friend’s Place). This was like its antithesis. The PTA should simply have sent me a letter stating “We have wasted four dollars in your name.” I assume these were delivered to all schools in our district; I hardly think we’re so special to have money wasted for us alone. If my assumption is correct, it is an awful lot of money wasted and very disillusioning.

The very next day I received another letter from the PTA. “Dear Unit not in good standing,” it used as a greeting. Normally they address me as Monica, which is not my name either, but is at least slightly more poetic. According to the California PTA we were remiss in sending in our membership fees. Having been the person to put the check directly in our district treasurer’s hand I knew this to be incorrect. And then at our district meeting I discovered we were a school out of compliance with regard to our bylaws as they had not been updated. Once again, as it was I who cobbled them together and sent them in, I knew that to be incorrect too. I fully submit that our bylaws could be entirely wrong, that I possibly didn’t follow the rubric, that a full-on moron could do a job equivalent to mine, but I just want to be credited for the freaking time I put in to attending to all this mind boggling, buggery, buggery, petty-ass paperwork. Jeez. I don’t want to be treated unfairly, nor as a child. It’s my turn to be a grown up! I get to do the admonishing! And for the record, I make sure to admonish when my children are in the wrong and not me. My husband not so much.

When we were having our membership drive at the beginning of the school year, I drove to the district office to ask for membership drive posters. We had received them in a membership drive kit the year before, but not this year. “Oh, but you are supposed to make those yourself,” scolded the lady in the district office and resolutely afforded me none. I was quite astonished that the PTA would assume I had that kind of PTA “spirit” or time. I have neither. I assumed they would want to help me out before I put on my dungarees and got a-paintin’, especially with regard to membership as the PTA is losing schools in droves. I’m beginning to see why. We shall discuss…

Photo by troismarteaux

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