The Faster Times Invites You to …

Drink with the Lit World’s Best Editors and Writers

Who Will Be There (In addition to the editors and writers of TFT…..)

Lorin Stein – Editor, The Paris Review

Knight Landesman – Publisher and Executive Editor, Artforum/Bookforum Michael Miller – Reviews Editor, Bookforum Marco Roth - Editor, n+1

Christian Lorentzen – Senior Editor, New York Observer

Scott Lindenbaum – Co-Editor and Co-Founder, Electric Literature

Laurence Lowe – Senior Editor, Triple Canopy; Associate Editor, Details

Paul W. Morris, General Manager, BOMB Magazine

Jeremy Schmall – Editor – The Agriculture Reader

How to Get on the List?

(Become a member of The Faster Times now for as little as $12! You’ll get free access to all of our events plus lots of great gifts. Our $12 membership comes with a free Digidude tripod/keychain that retails for $25.) When and Where:

Sat, July 24th, 7:00 PM The Libertine Library (pictured above) 15 Gold Street (at Platt)VIEW MAP

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Here are the Google searches that have led you to us:

106 italian curses 67 porn with a plot 27 yes we catan 17 huge breasts 14 why do people watch porn 4 guido nicknames 1 latest chinese fake competition photo 1 alone with bottle of wine 1 aliens will not allow nuclear war 1 all fat babies 1 already gone is another lame song from talent show winner 1 blood test for herpes for marriage in mexico 1 blackchinese 1 nipples in sports 1 biloop 1 babies poop alot while teething? 1 baby teething whiskey 1 bad so-called hipster 1 bake sales are kinda bougie 1 critique george washington’s administration 1 chinese girl, black pearl 1 chinatown nyc how does it feel for an american to live in 1 cool kid rap names 1 find me real fake vaginas that you can wear 1 finance a baby 1 fellatio in russia 1 fat wins 1 fat disney princess fan art 1 nick jonas naked 1 sewing a canopy for my daughters sandbox 1 selling human flesh wife didn’t know 1 second life can you have a boyfriend 1 season for children

The post Best of Reader Google Searches for January appeared first on The Faster Times.

The post Mac Montandon’s Book on Jetpacks Hits the Market in Time for Christmas appeared first on The Faster Times.

The post Best of Reader Google Searches for October appeared first on The Faster Times.

Below, some pictorial evidence and candids. L.A. is our Lady!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25N9lGEL0iw

The post The Faster Times Takes LA: West Coast Launch Party Redux appeared first on The Faster Times.

In addition to great gifts like New Yorker subscriptions, Faster Times tote bags, and members-only events, we’re offering a lot of valuable — and strange — bonus gifts at no extra cost.

Here’s how it works: Our membership program allows you to choose a favorite writer. That writer will receive 70 percent of the proceeds. And depending on which writer you choose, you receive different bonus offers. Please check them out below and then sign up.

Kathryn Higgins, Financial Stress

$28 plan and up: A critique of a personal essay

$60 Plan and up: A critique of a chapter of your memoir

Adam Baer, Travel Section

$12 Plan: A personal e-mail exchange with you about where you’re headed – with some advice on where to stay, what to do, and most important, what to avoid! This offers the benefit of Faster Travel’s deep connections with some of the most in-the-know travel writers.

$28 or $60: A custom itinerary for a domestic long weekend vacation or equivalent-length trip with tips from some of the most discerning travel magazine writers in the country.

$120: The aforementioned tips, e-mail availability, and a custom itinerary for up to a week (in the u.s. or abroad) — and a few e-reading suggestions geared to your location.

Amy Westervelt, Travel News

$28 plan: A bi-weekly email update of all
openings, concerts, gallery shows, and resort deals

$60 and up: Eco-friendly $25 shopping gift card to online store in Berkeley

$400: A week stay at a Hawaii condo (email info@thefastertimes.com for details)

Clancy Martin, Love and Lies

$28 and Up: An email response to the great philosophical question of your choice

Davi Napoleon, Theater Talk

$12 and Up: Workshop the first ten pages of a playwright’s script

Or…

Phone session to discuss college and graduate program in the arts — help deciding which acting, directing, design, or playwriting program best meets your needs

Deesha Philyaw, Co-Parenting

$28 and Up: A one-hour co-parenting coaching/consultation session via phone

Dianne Hales, Italian Lessons

$12 and up: Living Languages Prize Packs

Frankie Thomas, Life After College

$12 plan: I will write a limerick, acrostic, or clerihew featuring you, to order.

$28: I will write a sonnet, villanelle, or sestina featuring you, to order.

$60 and up: I will write straight-up pornography featuring you, to order.

Jessica Weisberg, Documentary Film

$12 and Up: An e-mail on the first month of each month with a schedule of all the nearby documentaries screening.

John Macdonald, Music and Culture

$28 and up: A personalized mix tape based on your musical interests

Jonathan Mandell, New York Theater

$28 and up: Membership in the New York Theater Club, with at least monthly activities decided upon by the members (which can include group discounts at shows, private chats with people from current shows, etc.)

Ken Mondschein, Academic Politics

$12 Plan: E-mail answer to a history question

$28: Nonfiction book proposal critique

$60: One-hour phone college or grad school advice session

$120: One-hour fencing lesson (will have to work out location)

Nathan Hegedus, News and Politics

$60 and up: Critique of an article or essay
– maximum of 3,000 words

Oliver Miller, Nonsense News

$12 and up: A 10-minute video chat on the nonsensical topic of your choice

Eryn Loeb, Nostalgia

$28 and up: A personalized nostalgia mix

Meghan Pleticha, Sex and Dating

$28 and up: A critique of your online dating profile

Zoe Singer, Eating and Writing

$28 and up: Tell me your favorite cookbooks or the kinds of recipes you love to make and I’ll send you a shortlist of great cookbook titles tailored to your taste.

Lisa Swan, Major League Baseball

$60 and up: A baseball column on the topic of the reader’s choosing

Trisha Thompson, Teens

$12 & up: A 30-min phone session wherein we commiserate, swap stories, exchange tips, and enjoy loads of black humor laughs about raising teenagers.

$60 & up: The above plus a playlist of the music my teens are listening to that I like listening to also…and maybe you will too.

Amanda Moshier, Online Media

$28: Website Mini-Makeover Emailed list of 5 topical suggestions on how to improve your website or blog

$120: Brand Analysis & Copy Taste Test Email consultation to identify your online branding goals, followed by a detailed 5-point analysis of your website copy and an email with feedback on the 5-points and 7-10 actionable tips on how to improve.

$400:(email info@thefastertimes.com for details) Online Branding Boot Camp & Copy Rewrite: A 15 minute phone consultation to discuss your online branding needs followed by A) A rewrite of your homepage and about us/bio page (up to 600 words) with an email explaining changes and outlining suggested next steps or B) A detailed 10-point analysis of your online presence followed by an email outlining feedback on the 10 points and an action plan to improve including marketing tips and advice Return to the Sign-Up Process

-Veronica

The post Become a Member of TFT Today and We’ll Provide an Answer Your Great Philosophical Dilemma–Really appeared first on The Faster Times.

208 “sex without a condom” 190 “ashley green naked” 144 “herpes” 137 “eye patch underwear” 94 “drinking alone” 83 “350″ 79 “hymen” 72 “china india” 67 “yearbook superlatives” 46 “playboy vampire” 38 “hermit crabs” 24 “what did serena williams say” 22 “dad of the year” 20 “the taster times” 14 “what andre the giant teaches us” 13 “save the boobs” 2 “chekhov’s john deere riding mower” 2 “cholesterol is good for you” 2 “chocolate whiff” 2 “chuck norris fantasy football name” 2 “co-parenting with a jerk” 2 “dancing with the devil” 2 “dogs +iran” 2 “drunk” 2 “ecogeek flying” 2 “eyeliner gay” 2 “cost of raising a child in canada” 2 “famous and obesity” 2 “fat white booty sex” 2 “find sex in saida lebanon” 2 “jesus’ foreskin” 2 “jorge” 2 “kanye wet” 2 “knocked sex” 2 “labor? i hardly even know her!” 2 “lies we tell ourselves about our lovers” 2 “meaning of truck art” 2 “jelly doughnut sex position” 2 “megan fox hot but crazy” 2 “megan fox a man” 2 “mr socko” 2 “online dating sucks” 2 “other sex” 2 “passion pit” 2 “them crooked monsters” 2 “this is the least mountainous country of southern europe” 1 “as soon as the ship was secured i went on shore with mr. banks and the other gentleman” 1 “beach plum” 1 “cookbooks and serial commas” 1 “cooking as time travel” 1 “dystopias are the new vampires” 1 “for mother russia” 1 “he’s not a rhodes scholar to begin with” 1 “i aint necessarily a communist, but i’ve been in the red all my life” 1 “just the tip sex-iceberg” 1 “lateral coital position video” 1 “me underwater” 1 “new world order” 1 “pains of being pure at heart”

The post “Fat White Booty Sex” and Other Google Searches That Brought People to The Faster Times appeared first on The Faster Times.

RE: I’m In Love With the Progressive Insurance Girl

Russ Wellen says: According to Wikipedia, Flo once played a role on the short-lived TV series based on Geico’s cavemen. Playing both sides against the middle, Stephanie (Courtney, her real name)?

Luke says: I’ve got the hots for “the Great Steve” from the TD Bank commercial.

RE: Talking to the Guy Who Brought a Gun to an Obama Event, Part II

Steve says: “Government is a necessary evil…”

That is intellectual sloth. Instead of blithely asserting that the only way to solve a problem is with coercion, why don’t you use your intelligence and creativity to find a non-coercive solution? Stop trying to justify violence! Yes, coercion is quicker, but maybe in the long run it creates more problems than it solves, not least by legitimizing violence.

As a libertarian, Kostric is someone who has *rejected* the initiation of force; his statist critics are blind to the irony that it is they who are violent. How they can keep such internal contradictions in their head is beyond me.

Dan says: Yes, Oliver, by all means invent a form of societal organization superior to all that have come before. Anything else is mere mental sloth.

Oliver Miller says: STOP PRESSURING ME, GUYS! Fine, fine. …I’ll come up with an entirely new system of government… in a little while…

RE: Why Science and Religion?

Jonah Goldwater says: As a fellow dual-topic TFT columnist – “Baseball and Philosophy”- I sincerely applaud the conjunction. And as someone interested in both science and religion as expressions of deep-seated human tendencies, I think treating them together is entirely appropriate, and I appreciate your explanation and defense of your topic. Of course there are many incompatibilities between science and religion, and there is no reason not to argue that one way of knowing about the universe may be epistemically superior to the other. But there are places where they coincide, both socially and in the psyche of individual people. (I happen to believe that baseball is a beautiful confluence of science and religion- of statistics and faith in a team, for example.) So, in any case, keep up the good work.

Steven Wells says: To the extent that science and religion have a “relationship,” it’s pretty much a one-way street. Religion would love to get cozy with Science, but Science keeps telling Religion, “I’m just not that into you.”

Arv Edgeworth says: The question is often asked, even in textbooks, “Could science either prove or disprove the existence of God?” A better question might be: “Should science try to prove or disprove the existence of God?” What an eye is, how it operates, and how to treat it for disease is definitely science. What about the question: “How did we get an eye?” Is that science or philosophy?

Do scientists ever start with the assumption that the Bible is wrong, and there is a natural explanation for everything? Do conservative religious people sometimes start with the assumption that if it contradicts their interpretation of scripture it should automatically be rejected? Starting with different assumptions always lead to different conclusions. How much of science and religion today is driven by a philosophical worldview? Is there actually anything wrong with that if your worldview is correct?

Arv Edgeworth says: Some religion certainly is superstition. Can we state as fact all religion is only superstition? Is that something anyone could have knowledge of, or is it something that is just believed? We should certainly respect someone’s right to believe that, I’m not sure it should be promoted as fact however.

Is denial of evolution the same as denial of science itself? Have any scientists rejected the theory of evolution? Although in the thousands they are still in the minority, but is the majority always right? How could we actually know how many have accepted evolution for purely philosophical reasons, and not scientific ones?

Civil rights have certainly been denied in the name of religion. Have they ever been denied in the name of science? That would certainly justify the rejection of all science wouldn’t it? Were certain nationalities ever denied their civil rights because some felt they had not evolved as far as others? Was that done in the name of science? How do we measure the harm that has come as the result of Social Darwinism? Hitler, Pol Pot, etc.

RE: Michael Jackson’s Ultra Private Resting Place and True Stories of Celebrity Corpse Kidnappings

Will Dunbar says: not exactly a kidnapping, but the case of Oliver Cromwell’s head is still of note http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Cromwell%27s_head

Amy Wallen says: Love the celeb history on grave robbing. Grave robbers used to make a lot of money in the days before medicine was legally allowed to use cadavers for research. Medical schools are low on research cadavers again and I keep thinking there will be a rise in grave robbing. Maybe if the economy keeps diving it will be something for the more entrepreneurial to consider.

Although I don’t think Michael’s body would qualify for medical research.

RE: White Sox GM Ken Williams Raises White Flag on Team’s Playoff Hopes

Alvaro Fernandez Ravelo says: Since Obama is a White Sox fan I’m guessing they were expecting a bailout. But now they need a GM czar!

The post Best of Reader Comments, Week of September 3 appeared first on The Faster Times.

Joslyn says: You are correct that no one will like this column other than you – I can’t imagine that anyone else will even finish it. The songs chosen to represent your arbitrary categories of One Hit Wonders are so wildly off-the-mark that I can’t even being to form a cohesive argument. I realized the entire column was meant as a joke when I saw “Hey Ya” by Outkast listed as an example of a OHW…but by that point I was too irritated to laugh.

Oliver Miller says: Dude, I can handle more negative comments than that. “Hit Me with Your Best Shot,” so to speak. Get it? …See what just I did there?

RE: A Cure for the Gimmes

Chad says: Dangit. I was working on a theraputic cure for Kleptomania. My plan was to set up a store where everything is free but it’s entirely stocked with memorabilia and the collected works of Pauly Shore.

RE: TFT Exclusive: Alain de Button Reports Life from Heathrow

peter k says: I am wondering how Alain knows what they are all having for breakfast way up in the air when he is stuck on the ground in Heathrow ….?

JURAGA says: I love his writing, everything he does is great! Even when Tom Hanks got there first.

RE: I Am Afraid to Watch the Avatar Trailer

J.C. says: Dude. Lighten up, it’s only a movie. You can’t go around being afraid the rest of your life! lol!

Jonathan Kiefer says: You’re right, J.C. I know I should always trust you. Thanks. Wait. Which J.C. is this?

RE: Why Dating a Prisoner is Better Than it Sounds

Blank Frank says: If the post-parole break up is inevitable, at least there’s plenty more fish in the aquarium.

Chimerical Dwarves….good band name

Unarrested Development says: I’ve often thought a few years in minimum security prison would allow me to catch up on my reading and get a lot of writing done. Who knew it would also be a good place to build a relationship based on minimal expectations? Good article!

RE: Advice from Gary Shteyngart

davida says: Bears like to eat honey.

RE: Visiting America’s Sistine Chapel

kitson harvey says: Wow. Deliciously, horriffically creepy. And now I need to go wash my hands.

RE: Feed the Fish That Bites You: The Mixed Messages of Shark Week

Shawn, California says: A fun, solid piece. Hits my frustration with the Discovery Channel pretty much right on the nose. Uh, but without triggering a bite reflex.

RE: Teenage Wasteland

Rachel Simpson says: Yes! I’m dreading this, absolutely dreading it. And what is up with the one-foot-on-the-toilet-seat method? As far as I know, it works for NO ONE. I’m with you on the perimenopausal/puberty-struck household. Yikes.

The post Best of Reader Comments, Week of August 25th appeared first on The Faster Times.

Without further ado, here are my personal favorites. On the left is the number of people who arrived at TFT by searching the terms. Comment or write me with any thoughts on this feature! -VVM

88 “cartoon porn” 83 “big papi” 35 “youtube naked women” 24 “naked youtube” 25 “how to have sex” 17 “flesh eating robots” 17 “home security will kill us all” 12 “papi” 11 “derivatives” 8 “maine coon cat” 7 “harry potter sex” 5 “nipple” 1 “can I have sex with you” 1 “fucking sex” 1 “is goldman sachs evil?” 1 “www.wildlifeporn.com” 1 “wizardry wall murals” 1 “video clinical Italian lesbian” 1 “vicodin and pooping” 1 “ufc silva penis” 1 “sharks with friggin lazer beams attached to their heads” 1 “youtube make women naked” 1 “how to have sex naked” 1 “all-chimp orchestra” 1 “do women really like vibrators” 1 “palliate” 1 “small penile” 1 “we’re all gonna die” 1 “what do turkey call turkey” 1 “where did the term sweating your balls off come from?” 4 “help” 1 “500 things to eat before it’s too late +michigan” 1 “oyster.com” 2 “was Michael Jackson good in bed?” 1 “things to do with eyeliner” 2 “damn it feels good to be a banker” 1 “bandaids bad for you” 1 “buccaneers” 1 “cheap jetpack for sale” 1 “failed frenchness” 1 “final seconds of life” 1 “how do lions perspire” 1 “hovercraft children plan” 1 “kitten in spaghetti ladle life mag” 1 “mrs. doubtfire ethical” 1 “personal trainer is trying to kill me” 2 “robot eating death” 1 “spanking dvd paradox” 1 “those youngsters are amazing.and the little fella in the front is incredible” 1 “unable to pay punitive damages” 1 “how to be a pervert” 1 “battery powered t shirt”

The post Best of Reader Google Searches, Week of August 20th appeared first on The Faster Times.