16 Awesome Words to be Dropped Into Conversation Whenever Possible

We all want to seem funnier and more awesome than we really are – especially me, since my job as a humor columnist regularly requires that I pretend that I’m funny all the time. But of course, I’m barely ever funny in real life (as my girlfriend could tell you; and she’s willing to discuss this topic at excruciating length; “All he ever does is play ‘Playstation 2’ video games, how funny is that?” she will say).

In real life, I’m funny about 3% of the time, and even that percentage is probably a bit of a stretch. So what’s the secret of my success? How did I ever manage to become a poorly-paid humor columnist? Well; I’ll tell you the secret. Come a bit closer, so that I can whisper it gently into your ear. Closer. Closer. Okay; that’s too close.

FUNNY WORDS!!! Ah ha. Yes, some words are just plain funnier than others. In the same way that the place name “Walla Walla, Washington” is more amusing than “Seattle, Washington,” certain nouns, verbs, and whatevers are just plain better than others. Why is the word “marijuana” funnier than the word “pot”? Who knows? But it just plain is.

So below is a list of 16 words that I have found to be invaluable in my career of pretending to be funnier than I actually am. Feel free to use these words at any and all occasions. I promise that they’ll be just the thing to “break the ice” at your next wedding, cocktail party, Tea Party convention, or mass suicide-related gathering. Use any of these words, and everything will be totez awesome 4ever. …Trust me. I’m a comedian.

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16 HOPEFULLY FUNNY WORDS

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1) Ofay*

2) Marijuana (pronounced Mar-á-ja-wahna)

3) Banana (pronounced Banana; English-style)

4) Pajamas

5) Closure

6) Supercilious*

7) Yoo-hoo**

8 ) Plenipotentate*

9) Bossa Nova*

10) Pejorative*

11) Subsume

12) Randy**

13) Hellion

14) Jejune*

15) Aesthetic

16) Dowager*

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And here are some examples of how to use these awesome words:

“This marijuana is really jejune.”

“The South African plenipotentate was subsumed by his ofay response to the problem.”

“May I have a banana?”

And so on…

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_{And a special note: …Those words with one star (*) next to them will make you seem much smarter than you actually are. Those words with two stars (**) will make you seem much, much dumber.}

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