Nonsense Reviews 
An Interview With the Writing Groupie That I’m Sleeping With
In movies and TV, I tend to admire self-reliant men; people who can defuse a bomb with nothing more than a can opener, a piece of string, and maybe some duct-tape. Guys like ... ...read more
Here’s Your Montage of Movie Stars Being Punched in the Face
“I want you to hit me… as hard as you can.” …Indeed. And haven’t we all made this request to someone else, at one time or another? Actually, probably not. As typical slothful... ...read moreCatch-Phrases That I Have (Unsuccessfully) Tried to Make Popular
‚ . 1) “…That’s so crumbelievable!” 2) “…Straight outta the lower Hebridies… motherfucker.” 3) “…And you can take... ...read more
Review of: The 4th of July
A guide for the perplexed: Oliver Miller is writing a book of reviews in which he grades everything in the known universe. For all the previous reviews, go here. For more hol... ...read more
The Worst Video Game Ever Made
Well, we already know what the best video game ever made is, ‘cause we already talked about it. But what about its opposite? Well, it’s hard to pin down the worst video... ...read more16 Awesome Words to be Dropped Into Conversation Whenever Possible
We all want to seem funnier and more awesome than we really are – especially me, since my job as a humor columnist regularly requires that I pretend that I’m funny all t... ...read moreGrading My Ex-Girlfriends
Keeping track of stuff is important. Or maybe keeping track of stuff isn’t that important. Who can say, really, in this crazy “jamboree” that we call “life”? ANY-way, I li... ...read more
Terrible First Lines From Short Stories That I Will Never, Ever Finish
Hi there. I’m a writer. And as a writer, I fail all the time. But then again, as the great artist Samuel Beckett said — well, he said the following: “Try... ...read moreA History of My Past Few Relationships, Presented in Recipe Form
N.B.: In addition to the recipe part, this is all written in the second-person for some reason. Sorry. _____ Hot Sauce Sandwiches: Grad school. People are supposed ... ...read moreI Should Be a Contestant on ‘Top Chef’!
I’m obsessed with ‘Top Chef.’ Well, maybe “obsessed” is a bit strong. A more accurate statement would be “I occasionally watch repeats o... ...read moreFollow Us
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