Sarah Palin Tells Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan to ‘Go Rogue’
Exciting news, everyone: Sarah Palin has decided to weigh in and opine on the presidential race. I know. Yes, Sarah Heath Palin, America’s Favorite Sweetheart Who Seems Like She Was Relevant a Million Years Ago, Not Four Years Ago, has decided to take off time from her busy career of doing… nothing… in order to weigh in on the presidential race. I know.
Sarah gave a statement to The Weekly Standard, in which she suggested that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan should, quote/unquote, “Go rogue.” Because “Go rogue” is something that Sarah Palin just sort of automatically says at random intervals. So, here’s some more info about that:
“With so much at stake in this election, both Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan should ‘go rogue’ and not hold back from telling the American people the true state of our economy and national security,” Palin said in the statement. “They need to continue to find ways to break through the filter of the liberal media to communicate their message of reform.”
Palin suggested that America needs to wake up to the troubles it faces, and that Romney and Ryan can help bring that about. “America desperately needs to have a ‘come to Jesus’ moment in discussing our big dysfunctional, disconnected, and debt-ridden federal government,” Palin said.
Palin also lambasted President Obama over the national debt. “At the founding of our country, a great American patriot wrote, ‘If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace,’” said Palin. “Obama’s motto seems to be, ‘Let the good times roll in my day. The kids can deal with the catastrophic bankruptcy in theirs.’
…Interesting… stuff. Though it’s never truly been clear exactly what “going rogue” means in any context. Some political observers would argue that in Sarah’s case, it meant going wildly off-message and ruining John McCain’s slim chance to win the presidency. However, other observers might argue that in fact, “going rogue” means… nothing at all, and is in fact a blank signifier, mere airy meaningless persiflage spewed out in a failed effort to obscure the fact that Sarah Palin never actually says anything of substance at all. …But that’s probably crazy-talk.
Anyway, go rogue, go rogue, go rogue, Obama’s fault, blah blah. It’s also cute that Sarah Palin managed to say that Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney should “come to Jesus,” because Sarah Palin really really likes talking about Jesus and Jesus-related things in her theocratic way. However, it should be pointed out that Sarah Palin followed that up by quoting Thomas Paine — he’s the “great American patriot” that she references. Unfortunately, Thomas Paine was a noted opponent of organized religion, who spent most of his later career attacking religion and its outsized influence on government, which is a wild contrast to what Sarah Palin does.
But then, internal consistency, or looking things up, or research, or knowing what she’s talking about has never been Sarah Palin’s strong suit. And hey, that’s probably what “going rogue” really means. It just means saying whatever the hell.
And now, for no reason, here’s a picture of Sarah Palin from her days as a television sports-anchor. Possibly she’s going rogue in the photo, it’s not clear. After this photo, this essay is just going to randomly end, because I feel like going rogue too. Here’s the photo. Please to enjoy:
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