Fox News Breaking Report: Preserve Your Aryan Genes; Avoid Other “Species” or “Ethnics.”

I have done many terrible things for the sake of my writing career.  I have gone on horrifying blind dates so that I could write about them.  I have watched nearly all of Sarah Palin’s speeches.  I have reviewed books and movies that no sentient human being would ever want to read or see.  But I have never forced myself to watch the five-hour-long bizzaro morning show that is “Fox & Friends.”  Instead, I count on Joel McHale to watch it for me.

…But I am missing out?  Today, for instance, “Fox & Friends” host Brian Kilmeade managed to advance the remarkable theory that people who have “pure” Aryan blood have a more “pure society” than those filthy mongrels who just go around marrying people from other “species” [sic] and other “ethnics” [sic].

In case you weren’t aware, advocating the “purity” of white people’s blood is part of a less-than-popular 20th century philosophical movement known as “being Adolph Hitler.”  Nor is referring to people of other races as being people of other “species” considered very P.C.  In fact, it’s considered, oh, let’s say…  Nazi-ish.  Or Nazi-Lite.  Or Nazi-rific.

Salon.com provides the rest of the necessary info:

Kilmeade and two colleagues were discussing a study that, based on research done in Finland and Sweden, showed people who stay married are less likely to suffer from Alzheimer’s. Kilmeade questioned the results, though, saying, “We are — we keep marrying other species and other ethnics and other…”

At this point, his co-host tried to — in that jokey morning show way — tell Kilmeade he needed to shut up, and quick, for his own sake. But he didn’t get the message, adding, “See, the problem is the Swedes have pure genes. Because they marry other Swedes… Finns marry other Finns, so they have a pure society.”

Or you could just watch the entire unbelievable clip for yourself:

My favorite part of the clip?  The little Zwoing!-followed-by-a-cymbals-crash-sound-effect, presumably added to lighten the mood as Kilmeade offered up his zany theory of racial eugenics.  …Really, “Fox & Friends”?  You had time to add a wacky sound effect in the editing room?  Couldn’t that time have been better used in cutting the entire “Hey, we’re just a bunch of goofy racists” clip, so that it never went on the air?

But hey, “Fox & Friends,” you don’t have to listen to me.  I’m not the boss of you.  Still, if I was doling out sound effects, I would give your entire show a sad trombone.