Nonsense News 
Monster Energy Drink Stock Tragically Plummets Following Death Reports
Shares of Monster Beverage Corporation tragically fell over 14 percent today, following reports from the Food and Drug Administration that five people “consumed the drink befor... ...read more
Here’s Your Mitt Romney/Arrested Development Mash-up
Some people — not me, God knows, but some people — might say that Mitt Romney is a bit of an out-of-touch elitist. This is all based on mild comments that he makes ... ...read more
The 20 Weirdest Books of All Time
Here, courtesy of me trolling through the “Weird Books” selection at Abe Books, are my selections for the twenty weirdest books of all time. I’m going to pre... ...read more
Sarah Palin Tells Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan to ‘Go Rogue’
Exciting news, everyone: Sarah Palin has decided to weigh in and opine on the presidential race. I know. Yes, Sarah Heath Palin, America’s Favorite Sweetheart Who Seems ... ...read more
‘Hamlet’ Is a Fox TV Show Now, Because Sure, Why the Hell Not?
According to Deadline Hollywood, Fox TV — of all things — will be creating a “sophisticated, contemporary” version of Hamlet — of all things. That... ...read moreVideo Game Characters Go To the Right
It honestly never occurred to me before that all video game characters always head to the right. I am speaking, of course, of 2-D characters, from the 8-bit age — the age... ...read more
Muppets With Human Eyes
“The eyes are the window to the soul,” Aristotle once wrote. That’s something to think about, although also something to think about is Homer Simpson’s ... ...read more
Spoiled ‘Wife Swap’ Beauty Queen Arrested For Prostitution
If you’re like me and you’ve watched almost every episode of ABC’s wonderfully terrible and terribly wonderful show Wife Swap, then you’ll recognize Alic... ...read moreJohn Mayer And Katy Perry Might Be Hollywood’s Newest Couple, I Might Have Just Thrown Up In My Mouth A Little Bit
Katy Perry and John Mayer were photographed having dinner together at Chateau Marmont in L.A. on Wednesday, says Us Weekly. This news was made exponentially worse by the fact t... ...read more
Gay Florida Man Faces Tragic Chick-fil-A Addiction
Tampa area gay man Clarence Truman has conflicted feelings about Chick-fil-A. The Christian fast food chain has drawn ire for their considerable contributions to bigoted anti-g... ...read moreFollow Us
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