captain crunch Cap’n Crunch Sets Sail for New World in Search of Spices, Crunchberries rats_cocaine_-1 Oreos As Addictive As Cocaine, Says Totally Stoned Connecticut College Researchers Republican-Logo Last Non-A-hole to Leave Republican Party kochs7 Video: Why are the Koch Brothers So Focused on Vaginas?
News

Man Emasculated by Own Dog’s Huge Swinging Nutsack

Oliver Miller Oliver Miller |
10.25.2013
RENO, NEVADA — When Eli Munson recently bought a puppy, the last thing on his mind was his own lack of sexual prowess. But what a change a few quick months can bring. Muns... ...read more
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Porn Site’s Apparel Section Simply Baffling

Faster Read Faster Read |
09.11.2013
Today, during Google searches of cute bunny pictures and ancient Chinese dynasties, I saw an ad for a porn site that sells apparel. I can’t wrap my mind around this concept. Wh... ...read more
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Two Dudes On Subway Sitting Across From Each Other to Reinforce Heterosexuality

Jason Levine Jason Levine |
08.16.2013
Recently, I saw two men who were obviously good friends get on the subway car I was riding. They proceed to sit across the aisle from each other, and proceeded to continue thei... ...read more
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IKEA Introduces Cardboard Bed for Slumming Teens

Terry Fedelberg Terry Fedelberg |
07.31.2013
In a much-hyped media event on Wednesday, IKEA introduced a line of easy-to-construct beds made out of a ripped piece of cardboard. The beds can be set up almost anywhere, and ... ...read more
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True Story: Sad Chocolate Bar Found In England

Oliver Miller Oliver Miller |
07.27.2013
Stop everything that you’re doing right now and read this thing that you are already currently reading! Important news coming out of England. Sad chocolate bar. …The Daily Mail... ...read more
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Asexual Public Masturbator Staring Off At Nothing

Terri Fedelberg Terri Fedelberg |
07.23.2013
In New York City’s Times Square on Tuesday, there was a shocking, yet not all too unusual site—a man was standing in the middle of the street pleasuring himself. What made this ... ...read more
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Wild Protests Over Zimmerman Trial Break Out In Local Man’s News Feed

Joe Lazauskas Joe Lazauskas |
07.16.2013
Following the acquittal of George Zimmerman in shooting death of a black teenager, Trayvon Martin, wild protests have broken out in the News Feed of Astoria resident Ari Tucker... ...read more
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Precocious Pre-Teen Invites Friends to Join Him On LinkedIn

Loretta Donelan Loretta Donelan |
07.11.2013
Eustace Crust, a sixth-grader at Dudley T. Meyerson Middle School in Phoenix, Arizona recently sent a LinkedIn invitation to all of Mrs. Rockham’s class. “Everybody... ...read more
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Mom Responds to News of Daughter’s Kidnapping with Frowny-Face Emoticon

Amy Westervelt Amy Westervelt |
05.24.2013
When Megan Saunders, 17, of Stamford, Conn., failed to return home from school last Friday, her father Tom was concerned, but thought his daughter might have just gone into the ... ...read more
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Procrastinators Meetup Group’s Event Date Remains Unscheduled

Joe Lazauskas Joe Lazauskas |
05.19.2013
When the Procrastinators Group was formed on Meetup.com, there was hope that procrastinators would soon be able to share their passion for putting things off. Alas, the inaugur... ...read more

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