Ron Artest in China
At this point, I didn’t think there was anything the Artest Currently Known as Ron could do to make me think he was even crazier and funnier than I already thought he was.
But of course, I was wrong.
What’s left for the guy who has brought the hood into every single arena he has ever played in? Exporting it to China:
When my buddy told me about this video, I assumed the worst. But I gotta tell you, after watching it a few times, I really think it is as good as just about anything you hear on the radio these days. Granted, that is about as impressive as being the best dunker in the WNBA, but still. A lot of people will hate on him, but he does not totally suck. In fact, Ron can flow.
I don’t care what anybody says, Ron Artest is the most interesting character in the league since Daryl Dawkins arrived from the planet LoveTron. Starbury is a close second, but he doesn’t have the game to back it up anymore, so he is really just a sideshow at this point.
It took a lot for Ron to outdo himself in my eyes. I mean, he is already responsible for the biggest brawl in NBA history. He once asked Larry Bird for time off from hoops to promote his rap career, which is the basketball equivalent of asking General Patton for time off from WWII so you can work on your tan on the beaches of Normandy. He allegedly once recorded a country tune with an elderly woman (20 million internet points to whoever can find a link). But my all time favorite Ron Artest moment was when he sang an apology song to Paul Pierce after pantsing him during a game.
And of course, he exploded my head when he told us that he didn’t think playoff basketball was particularly physical compared to pickup games back in his neighborhood where people were known to get stabbed through the heart with scorer’s tables.
But watching a club full of enthusiastic but confused Chinese hip-hop fans bob their heads and throw their hands up while RonRon raps about looking for an H-town girl, an East Coast girl, a West Coast girl, or maybe, if there is a willing honey in the audience, a Shanghai girl, was perhaps the most sublimely amusing experience of my life.
The kid at the 4:30 mark is particularly hilarious. If someway, somehow Artest’s TruWarier Productions can be the next big thing in China, I might be the happiest blogger in the world.
Ron has some rap skills. He definitely worked that crowd. They looked like they were enjoying it. If he can somehow convince Yao Ming to dress up like Ziggy Stardust and maybe pull one of these, he will own China.
Update: Last night I noticed that someone arrived to my page by Googling “Ron Artest Undewear.” I did not know what to make of it until I saw this. The man called Crazy Pills truly is the gift that keeps on giving. Underwear today. For the first time, I am scared for tomorrow.
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Photo by Gabriel M.
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