Peter Gabriel Covers a Bunch of Indie Rock, and it Makes Me Want to Kill Myself

Dear Peter Gabriel,

I know Rod Stewart has been making a killing covering pop standards written in the 1930′s, and your old bandmate Phil Collins sold out a long time ago (even though Face Value is a pretty good album), but dude, this new album of covers you have coming out, Scratch My Back, makes me want to slit my wrists.

You cover “The Book of Love” by The Magnetic Fields, and you manage to suck every ounce of Stephin Merritt’s dry humor out of it, and make it sound like cliffs notes for the Necrocomicon.

You cover “Heros” by David Bowie, and frankly, you make me never want to succeed.

If I were Paul Simon, I’d sue you for all the suicides you are going to cause with your cover of “The Boy in the Bubble”.

Then you cover Arcade Fire. I hate Arcade Fire.

Listen, Pete, bro, I love you. I respect you. Somehow you made this transition from prog-art-rock weirdo in the 70′s to guy who’s song was blaring out of the boombox hoisted over John Cusack’s head in Say Anything. Meanwhile, your contemporaries were getting in touch with “blue eyed soul”. You kept it real as a motherfucker, and now, 2010, you are getting loopy and making Bon Iver even more depressing.

I want you to get back in touch with the real Peter Gabriel and bring back the following.:

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