You Got To Be Cocky To Be On Top; So What If Weiner’s A Dick?
Weiner-gate is one more example of why we shouldn’t look to politicians as bastions of morality. I guarantee you that neither church attendance nor marital fidelity have anything to do with how well a politician will represent his constituents.
Thomas Jefferson had illegitimate children with a slave, Bill Clinton received felatio from Christine O’Donnell (I mean, Monica Lewinsky), and FDR was famous for drinking straight from milk cartons and farting in elevators.
We need to admit once and for all that great men are rarely good men.
But if not for the media outpour that allowed Kent Starr’s outlandish impeachment attempt on Clinton, none of these moral transgressions would have had any effect on the politician’s efficacy in office.
Anthony Weiner seems like a real sleaze-ball. Shock me, shock me.
By definition, to run for office, one must believe: 1) they are wise enough to make decisions that affect the lives of a whole hell of a lot of strangers and, 2) that they are pragmatic enough to actually get these things done. Clearly, any and every politician is going to be cocky as hell and awful to be around.
But it takes ruthlessness and delusional self-esteem to be a great politician. We need to stop duping ourselves into thinking that the men and women — don’t worry Ms. Bachmann, I didn’t forget about you — that we elect to lead us are moral human beings. As long we place politicians on pedestals, we will be let down.
So, I want to say congratulations to Rep. Weiner; I’m proud of you for admitting your slimy antics while still refusing to give up your seat in the House. I only wish that you had come clean right away.
Don’t beat around the bush about your twitter creeping; the American people have excused far worse things. Do something great in your next year in office — write a revolutionary call to arms or balance the budget — and I promise that by the time the frigid New York winter comes around, Weiner-gate will shrink away.
But clearly, Rep. Weiner still has some things to learn. A savvier politician would have called Mr. Chuck Berry up to help nip this scandal in the bud.
We cannot expect our politicians to be role models, but at least there are still some times that we can look up to our favorite musicians.
John Lennon famously said, “If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it ‘Chuck Berry’.”
I say, “If you’re trying to give sexting another name, why don’t you just go ahead and call it Anthony Weiner.”
Follow us on twitter@thefastertimes
- 1 First Openly Straight Figure Skater Comes Forward
- 2 Brooklyn Man Now Living Entirely Off Own Beard Garden
- 3 “Cra Cra” Now Official Diagnosis in New DSM (DSM-5)
- 4 OfficeMax Marketing Director Struggling to Make Staplers ‘Sexy’ and ‘Conversational’
- 5 Homeless Guy Woos Silicon Valley VCs with Low-Tech Crowdfunding Startup
- 6 Area Man Tailors Life To Be More Relevant To His Hulu Advertisements
- 7 Fan Banging Furiously on Glass Could Be the Difference in Hockey Playoffs
- 8 Survey: 88% of Eagles Fans Too Drunk To Spell Nnamdi Asomugha Last Season
- 9 Attorney Actually Starting to Believe Own Bullshit
- 10 Local Mom Won’t Stop Being First Person to Like Every Goddamn Thing Son Posts to Facebook