Turn Off the (Family) Radio!!!
The real lesson of the Harold Camping false Doomsday prophecy is that the radio is terrible. I never thought I’d write this but Family Radio might just be more damaging to America than Top 40.
But thankfully, new cars have CD players and iPod hook-ups so, please, listen to some real wise men, stic.man and M-1, and turn off your radio and throw on a quality album.
And for anyone who feels disappointed (I’m looking at you, Tom Evans, Camping’s acting PR aide) about the lack of Rapture, here are a few songs that may help you realize that this depraved world ain’t so bad after all.
And though he and Paul McCartney may have lost their tickets to Thugz Mansion the moment they put out Ebony and Ivory, it’s hard to argue against everything Stevie did before that terrible music video.
To end on a serious note, I truly hope Camping will use the small fortune he accrued from this fallacy to help those poor believers who he duped with his supposed prophecy. It is disgusting to create a Doomsday prophecy for fame and notoriety — but it is even more terrible if this was just an elaborate scam to get rich.
I am not a religious person, and yet, I have no problem understanding that what Camping did was wrong. It does not take faith in God or the Bible to be able to grasp basic morality. Camping is an asshole for “previsioning” pain and suffering for me and the rest of the non-Christians. But it is even more terrible what he did to his followers — many people staked their savings on this man’s prophecy.
I hope, for your sake Mr. Camping, that the Rapture does not come for many years — you will need the time to cleanse your soul.
Follow us on twitter@thefastertimes
- 1 Brooklyn Man Now Living Entirely Off Own Beard Garden
- 2 First Openly Straight Figure Skater Comes Forward
- 3 “Cra Cra” Now Official Diagnosis in New DSM (DSM-5)
- 4 OfficeMax Marketing Director Struggling to Make Staplers ‘Sexy’ and ‘Conversational’
- 5 Area Man Tailors Life To Be More Relevant To His Hulu Advertisements
- 6 Homeless Guy Woos Silicon Valley VCs with Low-Tech Crowdfunding Startup
- 7 Fan Banging Furiously on Glass Could Be the Difference in Hockey Playoffs
- 8 Survey: 88% of Eagles Fans Too Drunk To Spell Nnamdi Asomugha Last Season
- 9 Attorney Actually Starting to Believe Own Bullshit
- 10 Local Mom Won’t Stop Being First Person to Like Every Goddamn Thing Son Posts to Facebook