Shocker: The Grammy’s still suck at being metal

Jethro Tull: "Flute you, Metallica!"

*Yaaaaawn*…Another year, another flurry of outrage across all of Metaldom over the Grammy Award’s total mismanagement of their metal quotient. Metal heads have had it in for the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences since they gave the first Grammy for Best Metal Performance to flutin’ tootin’ Jethro Tull over Metallica in 1988. It’s all been downhill since then.

This year, on top nominating the much-reviled Korn and then giving the award to Iron Maiden for what is quite possibly their worst song ever, the Academy decided to put the final nail in their coffin by omitting both Peter Steele of Type O Negative and Paul Gray of Slipknot from the “In Memoriam” segment of the ceremony. Grammy President Neil Portnow gave a half-hearted excuse, citing an excess of dead performers from this past year (over 300!) and the difficulty of representing all genres (God forbid they trim one of the 11 pop or jazz spots) . Obviously, this did nothing to abate the fury. Score another for the Grammy’s.

Personally, I don’t think this should bother any of us one bit. The deaths of Dio, Steele and Gray already all spurred great outpourings of grief and sentiment from the people that mattered most, the metal heads. Why should we, who place so much value (misguided or not) on musical integrity, care about recognition from a laughably out-of-touch institution famous for giving awards based on industry politics. Real metal isn’t acknowledged in that setting because, quite frankly, it’s barely a part of that industry, and honestly, I hope it stays that way.

I wouldn’t want The Grammy’s to ever start “getting” metal. How horrifying would it be for metal heads to see Abbath or Varg Vikernes on stage accepting the award for Best Second Wave Black Metal Performance? Hating “The Man” is a metal tradition, established at the core of our mighty kingdom’s founding. Slights, offenses and misinterpretations like this year’s only help to keep us pissed, alienated and obscure. Just the way we like it.