Brock Lesnar was forced to pull out of his scheduled fight with Junior dos Santos due to a flair up of his diverticulitis. Lesnar missed more than a year because of the disease before returning to defeat Shane Carwin at UFC 116. This is the second time Lesnar will be missing significant time while he deals with diverticulitis, and it is an issue the former heavyweight champ will be dealing with for the rest of his career and life. Naturally, this raises a lot of questions.

Will Brock Lesnar ever be a consistent pro-fighter again in the sense that he can be counted on to make it through camp and anchor a PPV? Or will the diverticulitis permanently impede his career, and as a result, his steady progress as a mixed martial artist?

Doctor Dan C. Cohen, MD is board certified in internal medicine and is completing his training in gastroenterology at Scott & White Hospital in Temple, TX. After hearing the general details of Lesnar’s situation, he provided a relatively positive outlook for the fighter’s future.

“Diverticulitis presents as an acute, or sudden, attack and is marked by severe abdominal pain and fever, often accompanied by nausea and vomiting and/or diarrhea,” said Cohen. “Approximately one third of patients will have recurrent attacks and will eventually require surgery. Between attacks, which can be anywhere from months to years, people generally have no symptoms, but 30 to 40 % of patients will have episodic cramping and pain. In rare cases however, patient’s can have persistent abdominal cramping after attacks of diverticulitis. This is termed “smoldering diverticulitis”. It can be difficult to distinguish smoldering diverticulitis from the much more common condition of irritable bowel syndrome, or IBS, both of which can cause chronic gastrointestinal symptoms. So, to answer your question, it is certainly possible that this can continue to be a problem for him in subsequent training camps, but with the right diagnosis and the right treatment, his gastrointestinal issues can be managed and they shouldn’t prevent him from training properly in the future.”

This falls in line with Lesnar’s comments about “managing” his condition poorly during camp. It is not unreasonable to think there would be a learning curve for a professional athlete trying to deal with such a serious condition. And there are many angles for Lesnar to consider according to Cohen.

Cohen pointed out that even worst case scenarios should not derail Lesnar’s future if he gets proper treatment.

“ I am not aware of his exact circumstances, but If he truly has recurrent diverticulitis or the rarer smoldering diverticulitis I would recommend Exploring surgery as an option,” Cohen said. “I say this for two reasons. First, this is obviously having a great impact on his career so obtaining a definitive cure is paramount. But secondly, a severe flare of diverticulitis can lead to serious complications and even death. Recurrent diverticulitis is generally managed with surgery. Being young and in shape makes his chances of doing well in surgery and having a smooth recovery high. With regards to training and fighting, if he is not having an acute attack flare, there is really no risk for him to continue to train and fight. In fact, exercise has been shown in some studies to reduce the chances of acute attacks.”

Of course, Lesnar needs to do more than just exercise. He needs to be able to train like an elite professional athlete. I was skeptical about Lesnar’s chances, but his statements, in conjunction with Dr. Cohen’s opinion, changed my mind.

If Brock heals up and Shane Carwin and heavyweight champ Cain Velasquez bounce back, we could finally see the fireworks we have been expecting from the heavyweight division in the very near future. There are a lot of “ifs” in there, but hearing from an expert that Lesnar’s diverticulitis should be a manageable condition is a good reason for optimism.

Follow me on Twitter for more expert injury updates.

The post Brock Lesnar: An Expert Weighs In On His Disease appeared first on The Faster Times.

I was wrong again. “Cabbage” managed to get arrested over the weekend at just the right time.

I am still working on what I hope to be a lengthy post full of photo manipulations transforming MMA stars into popular Marvel and DC Comics super heroes. It is a labor of nerd core love. I am currently stuck on Shane Carwin as X-Man Colussus. It’s hard to make that metal skin shine just right.

The post itself has not been very popular, but the Brock Lesnar as the Incredible Hulk image did a nice job of bringing in readers to my last Brock post. So I hope a lot of people see this image and enjoy it too.

Thank god for tanking careers and criminal behavior. “Cabbage” has an extensive record, so it is not a surprise on that level. But I will forever be indebted to the man for getting caught right when I had a bad ass image of him to share with the world.

It seems I also did a good job choosing which villain “Cabbage” would be. We are one shooting and an underground quack Mafia doctor away from seeing the”Cabbage” as Hammerhead concept come to life.

The post Wesley “Cabbage” Correira Arrested; Who Cares?Look At This Cool Pic of Him appeared first on The Faster Times.

Brock Lesnar pulls out of UFC 31 due to illness

Brock Lesnar was forced to pull out if his scheduled UFC 131 match with Junior dos Santos due to a flare up of diverticulitis. The same disease put him on ice for more than a year before he returned to submit Shane Carwin at UFC 116.

What a buzz kill, dude.

No matter what you think of Lesnar, you should be able to admit that he brings a lot of excitement to the Octagon. I was just getting to the level of anticipation you reach when a fight you have been waiting a long time to see isn’t quite just around the corner but is just around the corner from being just around the corner. That is too say, it was too soon to buy the beer and dip, but it was close enough to decide whose house you would have been watching it at.

This fight would have brought everything you could ask for in a heavyweight fight between two contenders. The heavy handed dos Santos carries thunder in every punch, and the whole world wants to see just how far he can carry that. There is nothing better than a heavyweight who can end a fight with thudding finality at any moment. He is lightning in a bottle. And many other superlative cliches.

Lesnar is coming off the receiving end of two straight ass-kickings, although he did end up winning one of them. Shane Carwin, who immediately stepped in to replace Lesnar at UFC 131, mopped the canvas with him in the first round of their fight. Lesnar showed that he had the heart of a champion by coming back to win. But he was lucky as hell to get out of that first round alive. The fight also raised a lot of questions about Lesnar’s ability to handle the division’s top strikers.

Cain Velasquez answered that question pretty definitively at UFC 121. Velasquez effortlessly beat the tar out of Lesnar, stopping him in the first round. Lesnar looked like he was dating Chris Brown at the end of the fight. He was exposed as being extremely vulnerable to strikers with good takedown defense. But he is still Brock Lesnar. He is a money maker and a top flight beat down artist when he’s healthy.

Which raises the larger question: Can Brock Lesnar be counted on to consistently compete at an elite level ever again?

Brock says that he has failed to “manage” the disease so far, but that sounds like a proud athlete talking. The reality is that it will be impossible for him to ever completely manage his condition. Diverticulitis never goes away, and it will always be a problem going forward.

He can only pull out of so many fights before UFC decides he is not worth the trouble. On the other hand, Brock is a very special person, and the fact that he managed to make it through two camps while struggling with the disease says a lot about his character and desire. But I have to believe a successful comeback of more than a fight or two is a longshot.

Mother Nature is the one thing character and desire can’t always trump.

___________________________________________________________________________

If you don’t follow me on Twitter, how will I ever become the bloodthirsty socialist dictator I know I can be?

The post Brock Lesnar OUT at UFC 131; Is He Done For Good? appeared first on The Faster Times.

OK, I am not going to bullshit you. This post contains no intellectual value. There is no analysis. No prognostication. The internet is already like a backed up toilet in Grand Central Station, overflowing with big chunks of opinions and bad ideas.

I’d really rather just flush and be on my way.

Too be fair, this probably is a waste of space too, but at least it will be fun for me. I have been blogging sports for a while now, and to be honest, it has not always been that rewarding. I understand the unending need people seem to have for reading about Reggie and Kim and the general populace’s desire to masturbate to still images of Carrie Prejean’s nipple.

And believe me that happens a lot. I can see what people are looking at and how long they look at it on the back end. This seems to be the money shot.

Of course, like any other writer, I do want attention. I think the natural inclination is to go SEO key word mad in an attempt to get as many readers as possible to their blog. But it is impossible to do quality work if that is your methodology. That will attract readers, but very few will come back.

There is also the old “contrarian” strategy, as offered by John Steigerwald. The problem is, that in the end, we are all what we pretend to be. If you pretend to be a jackass online, you are a jackass in real life. Don’t get me wrong. I would love to make someone’s ‘Douche du Jour’ list, but I want it to be for my smarmy headshot. Not because I sold out to get hits. Not that I haven’t done that before. I just won’t be doing it again.

That is why I have decided to just post what is fun and interesting to me. So far it has been a success. I am still working on setting up that Mike Tyson and Paul Coelho lunch.

The reason for this long preamble is that I did not want to write a few fake paragraphs pretending like the world wants, needs or will ever even notice which MMA star I equate with what comic book character. I just did it because it was fun. And I plan on cultivating this list until every MMA star has been assigned a character.

If you love comics and MMA maybe you will get a kick out of it. If you don’t, and you still keep reading, well, don’t cry to me about losing five minutes of your certainly bad ass life. You were warned.

Brock Lesnar = Incredible Hulk

This one was just a no-brainer. What doesn’t Brock Lesnar have in common with the Incredible Hulk? Both men are prone to fits of rage. Both men are physical specimens way beyond the human norm. And both men used science to get there.

Bas Rutten = The Joker

Bas Rutten has the personality, the crazy eyes and the required ability to kill lots of people with random objects. He also has the jokes. Is there anyone on Youtube with more all caps “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA’s” under their videos? “Don’t you do this!”

Bas Rutten could definitely make you laugh while simultaneously disemboweling you with a ketchup bottle . No, he does not have hair like the Joker, but nothing says “crazy” like a green soul patch.

Anderson Silva = Spiderman

Duh.

Seth Petruzelli = Squirrel Girl

Seth Petruzeli and Squirrel Girl have a lot in common. Not a lot of people had heard of Petruzelli until he knocked out Kimbo Slice. Not a lot of people had heard of Squirrel Girl until she knocked out Dr. Doom. Granted, Kimbo Slice is no Dr. Doom. He’s the Red Hulk, but we’ll get to that another time. Petruzelli also occasionally enjoys wearing frilly girls’ clothes, so this one is a done deal.

Roy Nelson = The Blob

This one is pretty much self explanatory. The Blob is a second tier super villain with a pituitary problem. Roy Nelson is a second tier heavyweight with a southern biscuits and gravy problem. But that is not where the similarities end. Nelson is the only one on this list who actually shares the super powers of his comic book counterpart. Both can project a mono-directional gravity field extending five feet from his center of balance, rendering himself virtually immovable as long as he is touching the ground. Or maybe they’re both just fatasses. Either way, they both kick ass too. As long as the ass doesn’t belong to a first tier heavyweight.

Wesley “Cabbage” Correira = Hammerhead

Wesley “Cabbage” Correira has the hardest head in MMA. Nobody has taken more power shots in the history of the sport. Hammerhead was a low level ‘Maggia’ gunman when he was nearly beaten to death under a movie poster for The Al Capone Mob. His skull was shattered, but an underground surgeon of some sort put it back together with the requisite comic book improvements. The quack decided, “What the hell, since I have a half dead gangster lying here on the operating table that I stole from my last job, I might as well give the old scalpel a kerchief wipe and get experimental up in this mug.” Hammerhead woke up with an enlarged and flattened steel plated skull that routinely stands up to a pounding from Spiderman. Nobody has ever taken a pounding in MMA like the legendary “Cabbage.” He also has the perfect physical presence to assume the old school Mafia persona that Hammerhead assumed after waking up from having his super head put together. So there are levels to this.

The post Brock Smash; MMA, Marvel and DC Crossover appeared first on The Faster Times.

Bas Rutten Breaks Down GSP

Has Georges St. Pierre lost his killer instinct? A lot of people are wondering these days.

It is a pretty ridiculous question given the fashion in which St. Pierre has dominated his last nine fights. But six of those nine fights went the distance, including his last four victories.

I say a win is a win. But Bas Rutten took a more nuanced look at the question via Twitter (He used Twitlonger). @BasRuttenMMA offered some valuable insight to the enigma that is GSP:

“For sure he plays it safe, this happens most of the time when something bad happened the last time he DIDN’T play it safe. For instance, did he had the killer instinct before he fought Matt Serra? Because if got reckless in that fight, it cost him his fight, from that moment on, you kind of make a decision as a fighter, do I wanna fight like that again? The answer will be NO. So then fighters start to fight more conservative. Now, if that particular fighter had a killer instinct before, it will most of the time come back after a couple of wins. “

But it has already been more than a couple of wins for GSP, and he still isn’t being hyper-aggressive. On the other hand, he is extremely dominant. Thus the enigma.

Bas went on to point out that GSP has nine victories by decision, and six of those followed his loss by KO to Matt Serra. He also noted that his stoppages of B.J. Penn, Serra and Matt Hughes were far from slugfests. Bas expounded on how much GSP’s game changed since he got knocked out:

“In the 13 fights he had before he fought Matt Serra, he lost only one (Hughes, and he revenged that) so 12 wins. From those 12 wins only 3 went a decision, the rest were KO’s and submissions. So the Matt Serra fight definitely had impact on him, then again, his competition started to get better as well.”

Rutten explained that not all fighters can change their game like that. He offered Chuck Liddell as an example, which makes sense. Liddell would fight the same way no matter how many times in a row he had been knocked out. That is proven. Rutten said that GSP is “wired” differently:

“Other fighters fight more preserved, a counter fighter, they have a few offensive attacks, attacks they will learn before the fight and change each fight, but mostly fight on the mistakes that the opponent makes, capitalize on that mistake, and finish the opponent. GSP is a fighter like that. If there comes an opportunity, he will take it and win a fight. But when he fights a guy who also fights reserved and is a counter fighter (50% of Shields wins are by decision) then you have a match that we saw last weekend, not an exciting one.”

Spot on analysis by Bas.

But with one questioned answered, another arises: Can GSP get his killer instinct back?

The post Can GSP Get His Groove Back? @BasRuttenMMA Opines appeared first on The Faster Times.

MMA is last bastion of great sports nicknames

The great sports nickname has been on life support for more than a decade. Not only that, I am pretty sure the demise of the great nickname can traced directly to Alex Rodriguez’s rise to fame in the 1990’s. While I admit that “A-Rod” is catchy, cool and convenient, taking the first letter of someone’s name and attaching it to the first syllable of their last name could not be more played out.

Maybe it is just another example of society’s increased intellectual laziness. You can only express yourself in 140 characters or less so many times before cutting corners becomes second nature. Oh, by the way, please follow me on Twitter. I just joined, and @Mason_Lerner would like to be a bigger part of the problem.

I would also like to be part of the solution by giving thanks to MMA for being the last bastion of the great sports nickname. That is not to say there aren’t tons of great nicknames in pro sports today. But for every “Big Unit” and “Black Mamba,” there are ten “B-Hops,” “D-Robs,” and “T-Wills.”

Imagine a world where James Hunter went by J-Hunt because Charles Finley was just feeling lazy on the day he decided to manufacture the nickname “Catfish.” Because that is pretty much the world we’re living in.

Just another reason to thank god for the breath of fresh air called MMA. Aside from Kenny “KenFlo” Florian, the imaginative, creative nickname is alive and well in MMA.

Here are my ten favorites*:

10. Frank “Twinkle Toes” Trigg – Granted, “Twinkle Toes” definitely also qualifies as the worst nickname in MMA. But that is the beauty of it. He’s like A Boy Named Sue, only voluntarily.

9. Vladmir “The Janitor” Matyushenko – It’s the same old story. Educated man escapes Eastern Europe for more opportunities in the US. Man finds himself pushing a broom in a car dealership instead of splitting atoms in a lab. Man gets pissed. His nights become a series of 80’s style montages featuring him power lifting car engines after the mechanics have gone home. Man kicks every ass he can until he is a top ten light heavy contender for a hot minute. At least, I’m assuming that’s how he got the nickname.

8. Randy “Captain America” Couture – This one is simple, but it really embodies the level of respect Couture commands from his fans. Not to mention, it’s a nice homage to Cap since I believe they fought together in WWII . Age joke.

7. Bas “El Guapo” Rutten – I have a soft spot for ironic nicknames.

6. Fedor “The Last Emperor” Emelianenko – A perfect nickname considering how the emperor has been exposed as having no clothes lately. Well, at least none that he can button and zip up all the way without taking a deep breath.

5. Stephan “The American Psycho” Bonnar – This one is great if you have read the book. There is nothing as intimidating as a man who is willing to stuff rats in his victims’ vaginas. Forrest Griffin beware.

4. Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell – This one is pretty generic, but Lidell pulls it off. The man just has a face that says “Stone Cold Killer.” But “Stone Cold Killer” would be a lame nickname, although “Cold Stone Killer” could be a sweet two for one waffle cone promotion at Marble Slab.

3. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson – Nothing validates a nickname more than when said nickname replaces the athlete’s real name in the public’s consciousness, which works out well for Rampage. I don’t see Quinton Jackson moving a lot of PPV’s going by “Q-Jax.” “Q-Jax Hustler” anyone? Barf. Rampage works.

2. Mark “The Smashing Machine” Kerr – Considering Kerr has a 15-11 record with only 4 KO’s, I think somebody forgot to put a quarter in the machine.

1. Joseph “The Ho Bag” Bochenek – Never heard of the guy, but he is 0-10 and his nickname is “The Ho Bag.” We have a winner.

* Chang Sung “Korean Zombie” Jung has the perfect nickname. He cannot be listed with mere mortals. Long live the undead.

The post Top 10 MMA Nicknames Besides “Korean Zombie” appeared first on The Faster Times.

Jon “Bones” Jones Explains His Injury

Why Tweet when you have your very own media outlet?

Jon “Bones” Jones explained the injury that put the kybosh on his upcoming bout with Rashad Evans via his personal website:

This is an injury that’s been recurring since I was a college wrestler, it doesn’t affect my punching or grappling, but I am taking the time and the proper measures to correct this now, so that it doesn’t happen again. I look forward to getting back to training and to my first title defense. As for Rashad, let’s see what happens with Phil Davis. I will be watching that fight with great interest.

That should put to rest any talk of “Bones” backing out of the fight because Evans is his homie, or the more ridiculous idea that he scared. It should, but it won’t.

Truly the pecking order of the fights make more sense now. After winning a major championship, there should at least be one major bout between top contenders before the new champ fights again. It’s not so much that the champ deserves a break. Obviously, fighters want to keep fighting. But it is a great way to ratchet up the drama a couple of notches.

It’s too bad Fedor can’t get off his fat behind and lose 20 pounds. This could truly be a Golden Age for the light heavies.

The post Jon “Bones” Jones Explains His Injury Via Personal Website appeared first on The Faster Times.

Georges St. Pierre told Sherdog he is not listening to the suddenly growing gaggle of critics picking apart his game. They just can’t seem to finish telling us that GSP can’t finish. It’s getting old.

GSP has won 30 straight rounds. Granted, I think he was snoozing along with the rest of us during many of those rounds. Even he seems to understand the fans’ frustration.

“You want to finish. You want to take him out,” St. Pierre says. “I want to use my technique [and] my skills that way. It’s something I’ve been working on in training.”

GSP also said he is not underestimating Jake Shields.

“This time, the bar is raised much higher,” St. Pierre says. “I’m fighting a much better guy, but I welcome the challenge. I want to fight the best. I want to be the best. I don’t want to be a paper champion. I want to be a real champion, and to be a real champion, I need to fight the best contenders, the best guys. I consider Jake like a champion, too. He’s been a champion in many different organizations and different weight classes — something I’ve never done.”

So, okay, GSP said the bar is raised much higher for UFC 129. Does that mean GSP is putting more emphasis on finishing Shields than he normally would?

Probably not. GSP said he is trying to be a “real champion.” And real champs focus in one thing: Winning.

That said, I’ll take GSP in the third by submission,

The post UFC 129 Update: GSP Wants to be a “Real Champion” appeared first on The Faster Times.

Every once in a while fate steps in and ruins a fight you were really looking forward to.

Anyone remember the buzz kill when Tyson pulled out of his first schedule fight with Holyfield?

But sometimes fate steps in and stops a fight that probably shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

That is the case with the Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans fight that just fell apart. Jones had to pull out of the fight due to a minor surgery on torn ligaments in his thumb. The prognosis is positive both for Jones’s full recovery and the potential excitement the new status quo could provide to the fans.

Reports are already in that Evans will be facing undefeated Phil Davis (9-0) at UFC 133, which is probably a relief to Evans for two reasons: 1. He won’t have to fight his friend and teammate Jon Jones. 2. He won’t have to fight Jon Jones.

That is not to say that Evans is scared. He is a game warrior. But it will save him from an inevitable butt whipping. I don’t think anybody is arguing that Evans is the best LH in the world, and everybody seems to agree that title belongs to Jon Jones.

So what was the point of the fight in the first place besides helping the UFC pump out PPV’s? At least now, the fight will have some meaning.

Evans is at a point in his career where he makes an excellent gate-keeper. Phil Davis is at the gates, shaking them with all his might to get that title shot. He only has nine fights, but already he has the hype of a legit contender.

Rashad Evans will let the whole world know if he actually is one. If he is, he will get his shot at the title. If he is not, Evans vs. Jones will happen anyway under circumstances more befitting a championship fight.

Jon Jones will be healthy soon. We have a meaningful fight to look forward to. And the payoff is an even bigger fight down the line.

Win/win/win.

The post Jon Jones vs. Rashad Evans OFF; Good Riddance to Meaningless Matchmaking appeared first on The Faster Times.

Brock Lesnar can exhale.

Chris Cope pulled off a huge upset for Team Lesnar on the second episode of The Ultimate Fighter 13. Cope ground Javier Torres into the canvas, and by the third round it was clear Torres didn’t really want to be there anymore.

Credit Cope for bringing the intensity throughout the fight. He has a lot of heart, and the world needs more of that.

It was hard to use that fight as a gauge for how far Cope can go in MMA. On the one hand, the win was not spectacular and he obviously has his limitations. He is not going to ever blow anyone away talent-wise. And at the end of the day, heart can only take you so far once you are a professional fighter. There are a ton of super talented guys with tremendous hearts in MMA. You need to have both if you expect to have staying power.

Lucky for Cope, he is not just a gutty fighter. He is a great writer. After his surprising win on the second ep, Cope threw together a wonderful blog for Yahoo.

I must say, Cope’s blog is a lot better than most of the pablum being puked out of the bowels of cyberspace these days, yours truly included.

Cope offered facts, details and insights you can’t get anywhere else in cogent, well-written prose. How often do you get that from a blog these days? Not as often as you get to read about George Lucas’s daughter, I can guarantee you that.

Not to mention the quick turnaround time. Cope can meet a deadline.

The fighters on Team Lesnar and Team dos Santos need to take a good hard look at what Cope brings to the table in terms of determination. A lot of fighters could learn a lot from him.

So could a lot of writers.

The post TUF 13: Chris Cope can Fight…and Write appeared first on The Faster Times.