What’s the Deal With Brian Wilson’s Beard? God Only Knows

San Francisco Giants closer Brian Wilson isn’t just a great reliever. He also has a bizarre beard, a mohawk, a wardrobe of wacky outfits, and a strange friend known only as “The Machine.” The self-proclaimed “certified ninja” led the National League with 48 saves — and in goofiness.

While San Francisco fans and hardcore baseball fans have known about the wackiness of Wilson for a while now, he’s getting a big national profile thanks to the Giants making it to the World Series. This Wilson is not quite as eccentric as the Beach Boys legend who shares the same name. But the closer still has his moments of silliness. Here are a few:

* Fear the Beard: Wilson started growing the bushy beard this summer, and it’s become such a cult thing, there’s both a Facebook page and a Twitter page devoted to it. With the black color that looks chemically enhanced, the beard has become iconic. When Wilson wears sunglasses, he looks more like Joaquin Phoenix doing his performance art thing than a baseball player. Wilson has denied dying the beard, even though it’s about ten shades darker than his light brown hair. He claims the beard is just “tan” from all the day games the Giants play.

* That certified ninja claim: Wilson told Jim Rome that he is a “certified ninja.” It happened in a dream, he said. Glad he’s certified. Wouldn’t want some unlicensed ninjas running around. Wilson also described himself as a “mental assassin.” Heh.

* Orange cleats: He wore orange spikes to match his uniform, until MLB fined him for the distraction. Wilson claims it was because he he had “too much awesome on my feet” with those “sweet cleats.”

* The man and The Machine: Wilson did one of the greatest practical jokes ever, when he had a bondage-clad man known only as The Machine show up in the background during his regular appearance on Chris Rose’s Fox Sports’ Cheap Seats show. Rumor has it that this character, based on a villain in the Nicolas Cage movie 8MM, is really Giants’ teammate Pat Burrell, according to the website The Fightins.

After the Giants won the NLCS, Wilson promised a return appearance from The Machine, telling Chris Rose, “I think The Machine will say all he needs to say when he makes an appearance again.” Yikes!

Go here and here for video on Wilson’s weirdness.

Photo by photonista

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