Stanley Cup Final One Blowout Away From “Boston Massacre” Headline Outrage
Following a marathon Game One of the Stanley Cup Final that ended in triple overtime, editors everywhere were relieved that “Boston Massacre” headlines were avoided for at leas... ...read moreNSA Demanded Access To Un-Filtered Instagram Photos
In addition to collecting vast amounts of private user data from Facebook, Google, and Apple, the National Security Agency has demanded access to millions of un-filtered Instag... ...read moreNFL AM Hosts Desperate For Someone to Tweet a Dick Pic or Something
With the NFL Draft over and training camp still almost two months away, the hosts of NFL AM—the NFL Network’s daily four-hour live studio show—are becoming increasingly despera... ...read moreInstagram Study: Fishlips May Be the New Duckface
A study of Instagram photos performed by the Social Media Analysis Center of Kentucky (SMACK) has revealed that the formerly ubiquitous “duckface” facial expression might soon ... ...read moreYahoo ‘Overflowing’ With Ideas For How to Destroy Tumblr
Yahoo—the force behind the epic destruction of hot startups like Flickr, Digg, and Delicious—is “overflowing” with ideas for how to destroy its billion-dollar acqui... ...read moreMom Responds to News of Daughter’s Kidnapping with Frowny-Face Emoticon
When Megan Saunders, 17, of Stamford, Conn., failed to return home from school last Friday, her father Tom was concerned, but thought his daughter might have just gone into the ... ...read moreCongressional Republicans Warned to Seek Medical Attention if IRS Scandal Erection Lasts More Than Four Hours
According to reports, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has remained “fully erect” through the duration of the IRS scandal. The American Heart Association put o... ...read moreProcrastinators Meetup Group’s Event Date Remains Unscheduled
When the Procrastinators Group was formed on Meetup.com, there was hope that procrastinators would soon be able to share their passion for putting things off. Alas, the inaugur... ...read moreSurgeon General Pleads For Americans to Chew Their Food 3 or 4 Times At the Very Least
Conceding that the recommended 30 chews per bite was frankly unrealistic in a nation of shameless gorgers, United States Surgeon General Regina Benjamin pleaded for Americans t... ...read moreDesperate Mom Still Riding Mother’s Day High
In what some are calling a Mother’s Day miracle and others are dismissing as the desperate delusions of a sad woman, Westchester Mom Kate Greenfield is still clinging to ... ...read moreFollow Us
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