Desperate Mom Still Riding Mother’s Day High
In what some are calling a Mother’s Day miracle and others are dismissing as the desperate delusions of a sad woman, Westchester Mom Kate Greenfield is still clinging to ... ...read moreWhich Pope Wore It Sexiest?
New Pope Francis has had a scandalous start to his papacy, washing women’s feet and whatnot (YOU GO FRANK!). With such an erotic display, Pope Frank is probably becoming a... ...read moreFan Banging Furiously on Glass Could Be the Difference in Hockey Playoffs
With the second round of a thrilling NHL Playoffs underway, Barry Melrose of ESPN reports that one fan banging furiously on the glass could determine who wins the Stanley Cup. ... ...read moreLocal Mom Won’t Stop Being First Person to Like Every Goddamn Thing Son Posts to Facebook
Bronx mom Gloria Steinbaum won’t stop being the first person to like every goddamn thing her son Jake posts on Facebook and it’s getting really embarrassing, Jake Steinbaum tol... ...read moreOfficeMax Marketing Director Struggling to Make Staplers ‘Sexy’ and ‘Conversational’
Despite intense pressure from corporate leadership, OfficeMax Marketing Director Mike Washburn is still struggling to make staplers sexy and conversational. “My boss read an ar... ...read moreSurvey: 88% of Eagles Fans Too Drunk To Spell Nnamdi Asomugha Last Season
For the number of times Philadelphia Eagles fans saw the back of Nnamdi Asomugha’s jersey chasing a wide receiver heading to the endzone, it follows that they would at least re... ...read moreAttorney Actually Starting to Believe Own Bullshit
After 42 years of practicing law, Fort Worth-based defense attorney Ralph DeHart told reporters he is actually starting to believe his own bullshit. Standing on the steps of the... ...read moreLena Dunham Sells Rights to Unsent Tweets For $6.3 Million
Penguin has retained the rights to Lena Dunham’s unsent tweets for $6.3 million, following an intense bidding war with HarperCollins, Penguin, Random House, and former President... ...read moreUnpaid Intern Won’t Stop Making Awkward Slavery Jokes
Sources inside Manhattan media startup Millennial Memes report that an unpaid intern, Jake Franklin, won’t stop making awkward slavery jokes. The NYU recent grad, who recently ... ...read moreMLB: No, Our Website Isn’t Broken, The Royals Really Are In First Place
After a flurry of complaints and widespread confusion, Major League Baseball responded to rumors that MLB.com was erroneously listing the Kansas City Royals in first place in t... ...read moreFollow Us
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