Greg-Schiano NFL Spread Picks Week 16: The Peyton Manning Revenge Special rscover2 NFL Spread Picks Week 15: Funky Fresh Wade Phillips Is Coming To Town Screen Shot 2013-12-07 at 3.03.54 PM NFL Spread Picks Week 14: Playoff Predictions ScreenShot2013-10-22at10.39.05AM_crop_north NFL Spread Picks Week 13: The Legend of Andy Reid
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NFL Spread Picks Week 9: The Casey Keenum Quandry

Joe Lazauskas Joe Lazauskas |
BEST BETS Colts (-1) over TEXANS With spreads as delicious as this one, I suspect that Vegas is trying to trick me, and when I suspect that Vegas is trying to trick me, I perso... more

Man Emasculated by Own Dog’s Huge Swinging Nutsack

Oliver Miller Oliver Miller |
RENO, NEVADA — When Eli Munson recently bought a puppy, the last thing on his mind was his own lack of sexual prowess. But what a change a few quick months can bring. Muns... more

NFL Spread Picks Week 3: Luring You In With Ryan Tannehill’s Crazy Hot Wife

Joe Lazauskas Joe Lazauskas |
  For the next three weeks, I’m in Tel Aviv, living a block from the beach and working remotely for my real job because the Internet is the greatest thing ever. At this poi... more

Only Man In Texas Without Gun Trusts In Handy Cactus

Jason Levine Jason Levine |
I had a discussion with one of my friends about robberies. She insisted I get a gun to protect myself, but I calmly informed her, no need, because no burglar would want to rob ... more

Jets-Pats Thursday Night NFL Pick: Gaga For Geno

Joe Lazauskas Joe Lazauskas |
Jets (+13) over PATRIOTS Visions of Mark Sanchez’s Thanksgiving butt-fumble are still dancing in my head, possibly because the butt-fumble GIF gets posted in the comment ... more
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Porn Site’s Apparel Section Simply Baffling

Faster Read Faster Read |
Today, during Google searches of cute bunny pictures and ancient Chinese dynasties, I saw an ad for a porn site that sells apparel. I can’t wrap my mind around this concept. Wh... more
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NFL Picks Week 1: Don’t Be a Tebow

Joe Lazauskas Joe Lazauskas |
You probably heard that Tim Tebow stubbornly turned down a job offer from an NFL team because he didn’t want to change positions. That’s like turning down sex with an impossibl... more

Dear America: Why Are You So Upset About Ben Affleck as Batman?

Jason Levine Jason Levine |
Why are we so upset about Ben Affleck being the new Batman? It’s not hard to be Batman. The only real requirement is a square jaw combined with the ability to throw pretend pu... more

Why That Headphoned Dude Singing On the Subway Is Such a Pimp

Jason Levine Jason Levine |
Some days I miss not living in a city with a subway anymore. I remember eyeing guy wearing headphones singing out loud on a subway platform and looking around, like Simon Cowel... more
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Bitter, Childless Woman Writes Dear Abby

Jason Levine Jason Levine |
In Dear Abby today, a woman wrote in to complain that mothers insensitively brag about their kids while she has to listen. To this lady: too freakin’ bad. You don’t get to dema... more

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