Why You Got Raped: A Satiric Response to the Franklin Mata and Kenneth Moreno Acquittal

The following piece was adapted from the deeply unsettling, and frankly insane online responses to the Franklin Mata and Kenneth Moreno rape trial before and after the acquittal.

Ladies, think back: When you asked not to be raped, did you say please first? I’ve found that you tend to get a better response out of men when you act like a lady.

Apparently, whatever you said or didn’t say wasn’t enough to convince him to stop so I’m going to imagine you’re the mouthy type. In which case, you know you could have overpowered him if you had really put your mind to it, I mean, if you were conscious. Oh, and if you weren’t conscious, how come you weren’t? I mean, assuming your rapist didn’t force you to drink those 4 drinks (or put some crazy benzo in there), what were you thinking allowing yourself to get drunk like that? Don’t you realize that women have a higher concentration of body fat than men do, and therefore get drunk a lot quicker? You’re not very smart for someone with so much education. Is that why you live alone in Manhattan, you trying to show off your grownup salary? Bet you thought it would be easy to find someone to love you, but you’ll learn eventually that you can’t have it all in this life – nobody can.

I know it’s old school to bring up what you were wearing, but can we talk about that thing you’re doing with the black bra through the white t-shirt? What is that, some kind of “fuck-me” feminist statement? When are you going to get it that you can’t be sexually provocative in public and expect it not to take eventually? And those boots – can you please tell me how anyone is supposed to run in those if they had to? Who do you think you are, Lady Gaga?

I’m starting to doubt you think at all. Women are reliable in some ways and not others. One of the ways I’ve found them to be unreliable is when it comes to their version of events when it comes to sex. First of all, if you don’t even remember “the act” how come it has to be so bad? I mean, technically it’s just one time out of a million in the course of a life, so how damaging can it really be? If it were me I’d put it out of my mind, maybe try and see a therapist about how to change what it was about me that was attracting these kinds of men into my life in the first place. It’s not popular to talk about, but most shrinks will tell you that womens’ inherent masochism is actually mostly to blame. I mean, that’s if she was actually really and truly raped against her will at the time. A lot of women would feel super guilty about getting drunk and having sex (while they’re so drunk they’re barely conscious), and it’s the shame they feel the next morning that brings on the criminal charges, not to mention the civil suit.

Bitches got to be sure they got their bases covered with that civil suit. Granted, those cops shouldn’t have had sex with her – I’m not saying that was right – they were on duty, after all – but look, who you gonna believe when there’s no physical evidence beyond a bruised up cervix – couldn’t that have come from anything? Her word against theirs is what it all comes down to, and really, there are two of them and one of her, so how likely is it that both of them are lying when they said in court that they were trying to help her with her drinking problem? I’ve worked a sober program for years myself, and one of the toughest lessons I ever had to learn was how to forgive myself for all the horrible lies I told my body with alcohol. (Also, sponsors can make strange bedfellows.) Anyway, I’m getting away from my original point. Rape is a horrible crime, don’t get me wrong, but there are worse things. So you’re a Survivor now, right? You’ll survive. -Erin Hosier