How to Handle Collection Agencies

I’ve written before in this space about how my ex-husband ran up debt in my name (and my daughter’s!) on the internet before going off to prison. Although I filed a police report the company passed the debt along to a collection agency, Amerassist, and they’ve been harassing me for the last year and a half. They have determined, in their great wisdom, that my police report isn’t convincing and that I owe the money (I and only I), despite my suggestions that they try to collect from the ex-husband.

Once upon a time I had started paying off the debt each month to avoid taking a hit on my credit score. Even back then, post-bankruptcy (again, thanks to the ex-husband), I found it hard to get really worried about one uncollected debt on my record. But, as is my wont, I thought I would try to pay it. As I described before, the Amerassist representatives’ tactics were so disingenuous and insulting that I soon stopped paying.

Has the sky fallen in on me? No. I discovered while trying to finance a car that the debt did indeed appear on my credit report, but my credit is so good otherwise that it has little impact. If I were buying a house I might be worried about being at the top of the second tier of creditworthiness, as I am, rather than in the top tier of creditworthiness, but since buying a house is the last thing I can imagine doing, the small damage to my credit report is unremarkable.

Meanwhile, the Amerassist people continue to sporadically call me, deploying their various ineffectual tactics to try to scare me into paying the approximately $900 in debt that I cannot afford to pay right now.

Today I enjoyed a call from a new guy at Amerassist, Keith somebody-or-other, presumably since the last Amerassist harpy was so unsuccessful in harassing money out of me.

Here are the tried-and-true collection-agency tactics he used to try to extract money from an empty well:

• When leaving a voicemail message, he doesn’t say what company he’s calling from or what it’s about. First clue to not return the call. (I foolishly did return the call today because I’m looking for a job and hoped it was someone responding to one of my many applications.)
• Insults. For example when I try to explain the situation, he says things like “you’ve made four excuses about why you haven’t paid the bill.”
• Interrupting me and talking over me. Such a tiresome and consistently used tactic — it makes every small conversation into an argument.
• Implying that I’m a scofflaw, or some kind of sub-human who isn’t entitled to common courtesy.
• Intimidation.  “You WILL pay this.”

These tactics have been so unsuccessful with me you’d think they’d try something different. I’ll tell you a secret: if they had used the tactics I’ve listed below, I would have tried to pay:

• Empathy and understanding
• Listening
• Courtesy
• Effort to work out a payment plan that would work for me.
• Assurance that they would immediately remove the ding on my credit score if I started making payments.
• If they’re actually going to make threats, perhaps make a specific one, like “we will have you arrested for not paying this debt your ex-husband ran up in your name.” After my years of experience with adversity, empty threats like “pay or else” are hardly compelling.

Admittedly, being a collection agency representative is in the lowest circle of hellish jobs to have to do. What a way to make a buck! It must attract a certain kind of  incompetent, unpleasant  person. They type of person who enjoys harassing and insulting people. I think it would be more effective if these reps were positioned as salespeople rather than knucklebreakers — they’ve got to sell me on the idea of paying that debt.

In this economy, when so many otherwise responsible people are facing financial hardship and sometimes desperate circumstances, why do the collection agencies think intimidation tactics are going to work? There comes a point — when you’re trying to pay your rent and feed your kids — when a little thing like a debt you can’t pay to a bunch of assholes who don’t care just isn’t very important.

As for the whole credit report thing — all those ads on TV that scare you into thinking that if you don’t have good credit you can’t function in our society, I say, who cares? If you pay cash for things, or if you have one credit card that you pay off every month, you don’t need good credit. Just don’t buy things you can’t afford.

So, I say, join me in saying F*#k You to the collection agencies.