Why I Stopped Watching The Knicks and Linsanity

Why I stopped watching the Knicks wasn’t because of Linsanity, because that was supposed to be a reason to watch them right? No, it was right before, when I had a few beers with my friend one night at my mom’s house and watched the Knicks play a close game…with the Toronto Raptors…and then lose. I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know anything about basketball beyond the very very basics, but I know what I saw on that dark wasted drunken night was the worst athletic demonstration by a sports team that I’ve ever seen. The Knicks played ugly basketball. It was so ugly in fact, that I think I caught a glimpse of ugly in it’s pure form, and it wasn’t genocide or the skin disease that turns people into trees, it was just really really bad basketball.

When I heard about Jeremy Lin I was intrigued. I thought like I’m sure many other people did that it was awesome a Chinese guy was great at NBA-level basketball and didn’t have to be Yao Ming tall. However, as soon as my eyes caught their first glimpse of that bastard word, Linsanity, or perhaps one of its macabre permutations, the large black woman that lives in a duplex on the West Side of my soul cried out in a stereotypically offensive voice, “Oh no you didn’t!” The Charlie Sheen phenomenon turned me off to entertainment news, but the popularity, nay, the propagation of the word Linsanity made me realize all the news “smells like poo poo poo,” to quote Andre 3000. There is nothing better than a great pun, but there is also nothing worse than a bad one. It’s almost like the difference between great sex and rape. Yes, I truly believe the spectrum runs that wide. For example, Jeremy Lin is about to succeed the Ming dynasty in Houston. That should be really offensive, but it actually points to a glorious time in the history of a civilization that had writing 1200 years before Christ, when Europeans were still swinging from trees.

When you break down “Linsanity” what is it exactly? What is insane here? That a regular Chinese guy is really good at basketball at the U.S. professional level? I think “cool” would be a better word to describe that than “insane.” I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I think the only thing insane here is that paid journalists use made-up words to generate web traffic and drive ad revenue. As I fade to black on that note, I’ll leave you with three maxims:

Screw the Knicks. Screw bad puns. Go Jeremy Lin.

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