Tim Tebow and Taylor Swift (Possibly) Went on a Date
Tim Tebow and Taylor Swift went on a date. Granted, they “… may have both have been with their agents…” according to the New York Post, but since both Tebow and Swift have managed to extend their early adolescence roughly a decade past the average expiration, it’d make sense that they’d be chaperoned. The report doesn’t contain anything juicy, like handholding or blushes, but, there is no evidence to rule out the possibility of under-the-table-footsie and text messages smeared with smiley faces.
The two met at some festivities that preempted the Oscars. Tebow “… chatted up…” the Kids Choice Awards winner, and probably asked for her father’s phone number so that he could get permission to take her to an ice-cream parlor. With Papa Swift’s (presumed) blessing, the couple had dinner at Toscanova, an Italian restaurant off Santa Monica boulevard in LA. The appropriate 3rd party observers were in attendance, and ensured that there was plenty of room for God between the two starlets. Tebow, however, walked her out after dinner by himself, opening the door to red-hot temptation and scandal, though, by all accounts, the Denver Broncos quarterback restrained himself.
The date proves that Taylor Swift has matured in recent years, and stopped crushing on edgy bad boys like Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer. Readers might recall that the 34 Mayer once described a woman’s body as “… a wonderland.” Tebow is on record saying that the body is a temple and definitely never stays out later than 10 PM.
Scientist and sociologists are working around the clock to develop a new hue of white that would properly describe Swibow, should the couple ever be joined in holy matrimony.
Photos from danielatamayo.com and firedream.com
More Faster Pop Culture
Kate Upton is America’s new Sweetheart
Lindsay Lohan and Anne Hathaway Are Like The Same Person
Comments
Follow Us
-
Follow us on twitter@thefastertimes
Most Popular
-
1
Brooklyn Man Now Living Entirely Off Own Beard Garden
-
2
First Openly Straight Figure Skater Comes Forward
-
3
“Cra Cra” Now Official Diagnosis in New DSM (DSM-5)
-
4
OfficeMax Marketing Director Struggling to Make Staplers ‘Sexy’ and ‘Conversational’
-
5
Area Man Tailors Life To Be More Relevant To His Hulu Advertisements
-
6
Homeless Guy Woos Silicon Valley VCs with Low-Tech Crowdfunding Startup
-
7
Fan Banging Furiously on Glass Could Be the Difference in Hockey Playoffs
-
8
Survey: 88% of Eagles Fans Too Drunk To Spell Nnamdi Asomugha Last Season
-
9
Attorney Actually Starting to Believe Own Bullshit
-
10
Local Mom Won’t Stop Being First Person to Like Every Goddamn Thing Son Posts to Facebook



