Kim Kardashian Sues Herself

The Woman is Brilliant!

“Where does Old Navy get off?!” I thought. “Nobody is going to believe that Kim Kardashian would ever touch a piece of their ‘priced-for-the-average-American merchandise.’ This internal rant came a few weeks ago, after the Television had shown me this advertisement:

Old Navy Ad

Unfortunately, I saw the ad again. It was a humbling experience to say the least. I realized that I had been tricked by Old Navy. The woman in the commercial was, in fact, not Kim Kardashian and was instead a woman who probably got hired because she looked exactly like her. “Where does Old Navy get off?!” I thought. “Nobody is going to buy their merchandise after they have been tricked into believing that Kim Kardashian was in their commercial only to later realize that it wasn’t actually her.”

I tried to block the whole experience out of my mind, in that it was both sad and humiliating. That is, until I learned today that Kardashian is actually suing Old Navy for 20 million dollars for publicity rights violations! In short, she claims that the woman in the advertisement looks too much like her and that consumers may be confused. I am a consumer btw. Way to have my back Kim. Also interesting is that this look-alike woman, Melissa Molinaro, apparently dates Reggie Bush. That fact is simply just too much of a coincidence to ignore. I have a theory in regards to this whole situation:

I think that Kardashian is Molinaro and vice versa.

Hear me out. Kim does the Old Navy commercial under the guise of being ‘Melissa Molinaro,’ and gets paid quite handsomely. She’s got people that can make her look slightly different, you know? Makeup artists and such. Then, she sues herself/Old Navy and receives even more money for the same commercial. 20 million more. A sound financial strategy to say the least.

In regards to the Reggie Bush thing, Kim was over him. Their relationship had too much drama, you know? She had met another athlete from another sport, NBA player Kris Humhpries who she really loved. He asked her to marry him and she couldn’t reject him. There was one problem though. He was white and she still wanted that BBD (big black dick via Ray J. and Reggie.) What’s a girl to do?

That’s when Kim had a great idea. She had already created the Molinaro alter ego, so why not use it some more? That is when she decided to start dating Reggie as Melissa on the side! Brilliant! This way, she could get that BBD without technically cheating on her fiancée. Kim is engaged to Kris…but Melissa is not…

Now that I have unraveled this scheme, I must say that my respect for Kim has greatly increased. Who knew that she was such a savvy woman capable of conning a massive corporation such as Old Navy as well as the entire country?

I guess she actually is talented. Take that, haters. You guys are just jealous anyway.

photo courtesy of lalate.com

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