You Too, Can Marry A 16-Year-Old!

But Only If You Are A Mildly Successful Actor

Which is worse, this guy marrying this girl, me actually taking the time to write about it, or you taking the time to read the contents of this article?

While you attempt to settle that matter, I will inform you with news. Yesterday, 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison married 16-year-old aspiring celebrislut Courtney Stodden. Nobody knows who Doug Hutchison is by name. Chances are that you’ve seen him around though. He played “Horace” on Lost as a part of the Dharma Initiative and is most famous for his role as Percy Whitmore in The Green Mile. Hutchison also has dozens of other small roles to his credit.

Courtney Stodden is this “person”

Allegedly, she is sixteen years old and is of course, trying to “make it” as a pop star in the music industry. If she were more talented, than she probably would have been able to marry someone more famous than Doug Hutchison. Anyone in need of some more entertainment should head on over to Youtube and check out her channel. It’s awesome! She has music videos, stresses that her breasts are real, and tells us that she is a virgin and will be until she gets marr…Way to get it in DOUG!

Being that she is a minor, I guess her parents had to sign off on this one. They are probably respectable folk. The other scenario is that Courtney is not actually 16 years old and is doing this as one huge publicity stunt in a feeble attempt to become the next Ke$ha. Doug probably doesn’t mind the attention either. He is clearly that ‘kooky-attention-loving’ guy that poses for pictures humorously.

What are the social ramifications of this marriage? Does it depict two people, madly in love with each other and disregarding societal values in exchange for true yin and yang? Does it represent a “breaking down” of the trivial barriers that are ageism and legal codes regarding age? Or, does it depict two fame fiends who will do anything for attention/an attempt to somehow elevate their own personal statuses? Maybe it is a bit of all of them. Maybe it is a bit of neither. Who knows? Whatever the case, I wish the two the best of luck in their new and eternal lives together.

photos courtesy of peoplemagazine.com, guyism.com, and creationent.com

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