Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez: Booty and the Bieb

Ever since he flow-bee’d his trademark mop top, Justin Bieber’s popularity seems to have gone somewhat limp. Judging from this photo however, something’s on the rise, and it’s apparently residing in the warblers grotesquely 80s board shorts.

Man, look at the dweebster getting all up in ‘dat gadonkadonk!

A new set of snaps have hit the internets of Justin Bieber and his gal pal Selena Gomez doing the tongue tango all over god’s creation. Flouncing about on the beach, up in a tandem parasail, on a boat, on a jet ski, in the bushes…jeebus, we get the hint already – you’re DOING IT!

It’s cringe-ingly obvious that the agencies representing these two dipsy-doodles are attempting to edge-ify their young clients. Makes total sense, ’cause, you know getting all grab-ass while you’re up in a parasail is like totally gangsta.

Personally what I love about these shots, is that it clearly marks the official death spiral of the Biebster. Seeing him in those stylist selected ‘Risky Business’ wayfarers, with the inevitable tattoos so consciously placed about his baby veal torso, while he digs into his cabbage-patch-kid-faced honey’s tail…it’s all just so predictable. There’s absolutely not one shred of anything resembling fresh, teenaged butterfly, spontenaity in any of these shots.

It’s just a desperately craven photo-op.

I love it! I will go on record and make a prediction…one year from now – Justin Bieber sex tape. Second prediction – “Bieber goes bald” will be the headlines in 2013.

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