Kate Middleton and Prince William: Ancestral Incest?

Kate Middleton and Prince William. Whoopi Goldberg and Ted Danson. The world is always fascinated and highly entertained by celebrity couples. The greatest realization of our fascination with celebrity couples…celebrity weddings. Now the beautiful thing about a royal wedding, such as the one between Defi Kate Middleton and Prince Billy, is that this marriage is a marriage that will last, at least for awhile. There may be screaming infidelities but that’ll probably be hush hush for a decade. Suffice it to say that neither Kate Middleton nor Prince William will be living in destitute poverty, strung out on crack cocaine, and living in a car behind a Chinese restaurant in Los Angeles. They’re a solid investment. However, if you just look at Kate Middleton’s Wikipedia, the darker side of British royalty rises to the surface like a fat kid who recently jumped into a swimming pool.

Kiss Me Kate Middleton and Tayshaun Prince William are 12th cousins. What does this mean? Their branches may be somewhat distant but they’re still part of the same family tree. According to Williams Addams Reitwiesner’s The Ancestry of Catherine Middleton, Middleton and Willy share a common descent from the late 1400s and early 1500s. Both William’s pops and mamma can trace their lineage back to Middleton’s. Is this scandalous? I want it to be. But the truth of the matter is would this be the same as me marrying a Jewish girl whose grandparents came from Hungary or Czecheslovakia? I really don’t know. What I do know is that if I married a Jewish girl and had children they would definitely be more predisposed to having an anxiety disorder. But what do Kate Middleton and Prince William’s children have to worry about? In the 21st century we don’t give royalty the guillotine, we give them press coverage.

Ultimately I hope that after Kate Middleton and Prince William’s wedding they’re able to put their things down flip it and reverse it. After all, as the wise turn of the century philosopher Missy Elliot once said, “get ur freak on.”

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