Wendy Williams on Dancing with the Stars: ‘Representing Millions’

Wendy Williams will appear as a contestant on season 12 of ABC hit, Dancing with the Stars. In an interview with Access Hollywood, Williams declared that she will be representing ‘millions’ of uncoordinated people. As a member of the Uncoordinated Congress I am a bit taken aback by Williams’ comment. We at the Uncoordinated Congress usually endorse slapstick comedians to represent us uncoordinated individuals, as it forces us to laugh at our unfortunate condition. I cannot see why Wendy Williams has any right to say she can represent ‘millions’ of uncoordinated people, when she has never publicly displayed a lack of physical coordination. Perhaps in the days preceding her appearance on Dancing with the Stars, Wendy Williams can attempt to woo us uncoordinated people with “random acts of incoordination.” Falling down the stairs is a personal favorite, but Wendy has many options to choose from including but not limited to:

- Slipping on a banana peel

- Getting on the wrong escalator

- Wearing two left or right shoes

- Falling down a manhole in the middle of a conversation

- Bumping into someone and forcing them to drop their tray of food

The list goes on. If you’re going to represent us millions Miss Williams, you’ll have to earn that right.

Uncoordinated people have a long and rich history on this planet. There are many events that have occurred throughout human history that can only be attributed to uncoordinated people:

- The first anal sex. Ouchies.

- The discovery of the bruise

- White people dancing

- The Titanic (Watch out for that iceberg! D’oh!)

You better get to steppin’ Wendy. But make sure those steps are clumsy. We’re watching you.

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