
This past Saturday night, Serena Williams got a bit hot under the collar over a blown call by the line judge, and vented her frustration with the following statement:
“If I could, I would take this fucking ball and shove it down your fucking throat!”
Serena Williams is now officially my hero.
How many times have we all felt the same consternation at our parents, bosses, friends, significant others, cashiers, gas station attendants, men’s room attendants, newspaper boys, doctors, lawyers, and impudent children but lacked the balls to stand up for ourselves with these simple yet powerful words…
“If I could, I would take this fucking ball and shove it down your fucking throat!”
Just the other day I was having a fight with my local grocer when I was trying to return a large trout which while cleaning I noticed was absolutely crawling with worms. If I was a real man I would have told him:
“If I could, I would take this fucking large wormy trout and shove it down your fucking throat!”
I am not half the man that Serena is.
I believe Serena is the new Howard Beale and she’s just unconsciously written the ultimate slogan for a new generation. In fact, we should all collectively throw open our windows and shout our lungs out into the cold black night:
Ms. Williams may have lost the match, but like I always say, “Out of tragedy comes truth.” Sure, she’ll have one less shiny medal to place on her mantle, but we’re all the better for it. She took a stand, whereas most of us just accept the daily injustices inflicted upon us and chalk it all up as the price of doing business on planet earth. Well I say, no more.
The tour director (some mamby pamby named Jim Curley) officially fined her $10,000 for her outburst, and responded with the following remarks:
What she did was unacceptable. It’s unacceptable behavior under any circumstances. When you’re on the court, and you are waving your racket toward a linesperson and using profanity, it’s just simply unacceptable.
What a muldoon! If he had any spine, he’d stand up for his players instead of taking the side of some whiny little line judge.
Serena Williams you are a total badass, and you’ve gone up like ten steps in my book. You might have lost this year’s US open, but you’ve opened my heart. I applaud you!
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