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Evolution

How Science Suppresses the Sex Lives of Republicans

According to Utah State Representative Mike Noel, global climate change is a conspiracy theory. He insists that the whole idea of shifting climates was put together by the world’s biologists, climatologists and other scientists as an elaborate effort to control his sex life.

noel horseback 228x300 How Science Suppresses the Sex Lives of Republicans

Speaking to climate change, Republican Mike Noel (at left) explained recently that, “This is absolutely, in my mind, in fact a conspiracy to limit population not only in this country but across the globe.”

Being both a Republican and an enthusiast of the equestrian arts, Noel isn’t the type to quietly lie down and let the lefties fondle his reproductive liberties! To the contrary, he has been an outspoken proponent of Utah’s House Joint Resolution 12; a proposition that aims to stop the Environmental Protection Agency from establishing policies that reduce carbon dioxide. Noel’s good friend, Republican Kerry Gibson, sponsored Resolution 12 because… Well…

Well, because there’s a global conspiracy going on!

Here are a few proofs of the conspiracy as listed in House Joint Resolution 12:

1. “…Climategate, indicate[s] a well organized and ongoing effort to manipulate and incorporate “tricks” related to global temperature data in order to produce a global warming outcome…”

2. “…there has been a concerted effort by climate change alarmists to marginalize those in the scientific community who are skeptical of global warming by manipulating or pressuring peer-reviewed publications to keep contrary or competing scientific viewpoints and findings on global warming from being reviewed and published…”

3. “…the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), a blend of government officials and scientists, does no independent climate research but relies on global climate researchers”

4. “…the climate change “gravy train,” estimated at more than $7 billion annually in federal government grants, may have influenced the climate research focus and findings that have produced a “scientific consensus” at research institutions and universities”

In addition to deducing the above listed ‘hard facts,’ Noel and Gibson also arranged for a hired gun to testify as an expert witness at Utah’s legislative proceedings. The hired gun was non other than the infamous Roy “shunned by the system” Spencer, a climatologist from Alabama whose work has been continuously rejected by the scientific community – yet further evidence of the conspiracy!

Checking Roy’s facts during the proceedings was a group of 18 scientists from Brigham Young University. The group unanimously concluded that he was full of crap and even “patently false.” Accordingly, they put their findings into an open letter (available here), which each scientists signed. The letter was mailed to the State legislature in hopes of dissuading them from passing the resolution.

What was the result of this unified effort?

Republican chairman of the Utah farm group Randy Parker publicly demanded a formal apology from Brigham Young University. Parker in part stated that, “I guess the bottom line here, from my perspective, is that science is an open process of ongoing research and debate, and a group of scientists should not make these kinds of statements about another scientist…” (Note: I couldn’t agree more with this sentiment. The art of debating without debating is under-appreciated.)

So unfortunately, it looks as though Mike Noel, Kerry Gibson, and Randy Parker’s fight for breeding rights has paid-off for the republicans. House Joint Resolution 12 passed committee yesterday morning. The state of Utah is about to tell the Federal Government that climate change is nothing but a conspiracy theory, take the EPA regulations and shove ‘em!

This should be great for tourism: Welcome to Utah – the State of Denial!

References & Credits:
Sovacool, B., & Brown, M. (2009). Scaling the policy response to climate change Policy and Society, 27 (4), 317-328 DOI: 10.1016/j.polsoc.2009.01.003

Article by Chris Vanocur-ABC Channel 4

Article by Judy Fahys- Salt Lake Tribune

Photo: Mike Noel

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Since his graduation from Kent State University where he studied biology and geology, John Humphreys has worked in a variety of scientific fields ranging from paleontology to conservation. Currently he resides in Florida where he is a fulltime ecologist and part time student. ...

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pov says:

Whatever one thinks about the issue, it is strange that they'd get a group of all scientists to review the claim that many scientists are full of it. Doesn't exactly gel with the idea of impartial review.

February 24, 2010, 12:41 pm

pov says:

BTW Although they form one of the most popular religion of our times, scientists and science are not the arbitrators of actuality.

February 24, 2010, 12:45 pm

John Humphreys says:

pov,

I’m not grasping what you’re pointing-out here? (Can you clarify?)

Reviewing and being skeptical of claims is how ideas progress. Science couldn’t advance through ‘agreement,” it can only do so by ‘disagreement.’ If scientists never disagreed, we’d all still think that the universe revolves around the Earth…

Beyond the process of science, scientists are people and are therefore completely capable of lying, cheating, etc… Doubt is a good thing!

February 26, 2010, 9:20 am

John Humphreys says:

pov,

The assertion that “science is a religion” is nothing but a copout. Either, you’re trying to be clever by playing on words and loosely defining ‘religion’ in a way similar to its use in the phrase “Mike religiously goes to the gym,” or you’re claiming that science relies on faith, a claim that is obviously false.

Faith is at the heart all theism; its practitioners take pride in swearing allegiance to precepts they fully acknowledge as unverifiable. Indeed, they dedicate their lives to ideas they outright admit to be beyond evidence and human knowing – they even kill for these ideas. Religion asserts that ignorance is an attribute of valor, and that questioning is a characteristic of the wicked. The dogmas of religion are born of archaic traditions, personal revelation, and the dictates of authority figures that claim divine knowledge.

Science is the antithesis of faith; its practitioners calculate probabilities based on observable and measurable evidence. Science takes nothing on faith. Unlike religion, science values logic and reason over tradition, authority and personal revelation.

February 26, 2010, 9:21 am


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